


Fluff, Angst and Taxidermy

by CalicoJack11



Category: Big Mouth (Cartoon)
Genre: Casual Sex, F/F, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, Other, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-01-24 04:42:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 47,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21332443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalicoJack11/pseuds/CalicoJack11
Summary: Judd confuses you and you confuse the fuck out of Judd. A drawn out, unsuspecting romance might just grow from an almost accident in your community college parking lot.
Relationships: Judd Birch (Big Mouth)/Original Female Character(s), Judd Birch (Big Mouth)/Reader, Judd Birch (Big Mouth)/You
Comments: 49
Kudos: 251





	1. Fetal Pigs

**Author's Note:**

> Hey kids, here's my newest story. Not sure why I'm so into this background character that barely has any lines in a TV show based around preteens masturbating, but I am. So here we are. 
> 
> Pretty much, you've just started your first year at community college. Ya girl Connie is still hanging around just because you both love each others' company.  
You're just a sexually liberated chick who loves smokin' weed, hanging out, and taxiderming dead animals.  
Your name is Calico Jack. Yes, just like the alcohol, because that's the name that I use for everything and have gotten attached to it. But you generally go by Cal or Cali.

You scrolled through your playlist in the community college parking lot, having already sat through three songs that you fucking hated. Dark purple shades pulled down over your eyes. You were struggling to keep your sight on the road and phone at the same time while maintaining a speed of only 15 miles per hour. All you wanted was to hear _one _fucking song that you liked to help you get through your three early classes. That was all. 

Instead you got a hand slapping down on the hood of your car that scared the absolute shit out of you. You slammed on your brakes, your black Toyota Avalon coming to a dead stop. You dropped your phone and held the steering wheel with both hands, terrified that you'd just hit a person or deer. Instead your eyes met the gaze of royally pissed off looking guy. Shaved undercut, black and blue hair, light grey t-shirt with a darker grey pair of pants. 

You started to roll down your window to woefully apologize, but stopped as you watched him raise a middle finger up and heard his muffled words.

_"Fucking watch it."_

But you just flipped him off back and flashed him a smile while he continued across the parking lot. You finally found a spot that was terribly far away from your first class, but pretty close to your last. You'd appreciate the spot later in the day. 

Your first two classes were Civics and Algebra 1. You pinched yourself to stay awake during them and thoroughly regretted only choosing early classes, but at least Connie chose to suffer through it with you. She matched your slouched expression, leaned over the table with your palm holding your head up.

_"Oh baby, why are we here?? With our body we could be hustlin' the big bucks at a smokey topless lounge in the city!"_

You rolled your eyes at her, _"Stop it, you know the plan. I'll strip when I'm low on funds, but I have to go to college. It's only gonna suck for the next.. eight years, oh God damnit."_

Your third class finally rolled around, Anatomy, the only one you were seriously excited for. You pushed your way into the classroom late, scanning over everyone to find a friendly face and an empty seat. Tons of friendly faces, not so many empty seats. The one empty seat you _did _find was tucked away in the back corner, right next to the most unfriendliest of faces. It was the guy you'd almost turned into roadkill this morning.

His apathetic eyes met yours and you saw him whisper, _"Oh, great" _to himself. You couldn't help but to smile and laugh as you walked his way, only because of the fact that you loved making guys feel uncomfortable. You and Connie had found some sort of humor in it early in your teenage years, sometime between realizing that your sexuality fell as far away from straight as possible and deciding that you had no plans to settle down into a monogamous relationship at any point in your life. 

You took the seat beside him and heard the stranger scoot his chair even further into the corner. Looking over at him, you saw his arms crossed against his chest and his gaze cast down, you scoffed and looked back toward the front of the class. The professor decided to be _that _guy and force you all to introduce yourselves and share a few facts.

It was the stranger beside you's turn and he was less than enthusiastic about it, or at least that's how he sounded. But you got the idea that this was how he sounded about most things in his life.

_"Judd. I like butterfly knives and doing group projects alone."_

You heard Connie's low whisper in your ear, it sent a chill up your spine as you closed your eyes to listen to her, _"He is just so full of.. angst, isn't he? I bet he's got a nice, thick-"_

But you brushed her off, _"Good God, Connie, I'm not a 14 year old virgin anymore. Chill."_

You looked up and noticed the class waiting for you to share, so you cleared your throat.

_"Oh.. yeah. I'm Cali. I'm a licensed Taxidermist and almost made Judd into my next project this morning."_

Thankfully, your joke broke the tension in the classroom. You thought you even heard a chuckle from the stoic figure next to you. 

The remainder of your class was spent copying down the name of every single bone in the human body, something that you already knew by heart. Before your professor dismissed for the day, he announced, _"Alright, class, we'll be doing our first dissection on Thursday so make sure you show up. Remember that you can't drop your classes yet and still get your loan refund. Also, be sure to get the contact info for your neighbor, the seats you chose today will be your seats for the rest of the semester. The person next to you will be your partner."_

Connie slammed her hands down on the other side of your table, _"Now's your chance! Slip him your number, he DEFINITELY won't text you, but we can call up one of those big dicked-tiny brained guys from high school to come RAIL you to the thought of him tonight!"_

_"Oooh, the dumb ones really do pound the hardest, don't they?"_

You took her demand into consideration but decided against it, wanting to save yourself the embarrassment of being turned down by someone who'd already stated that they preferred to work alone. Forgetting about him almost completely by the time you reached your car in the parking lot.

You stood in front of your car door and fished for the keys in your bag, finally pulling them out and unlocking it. As soon as you pulled the door open, a hand whipped around from behind you and slammed it back shut. Your heart stopped, all you could think about was that you were about to get raped in a college campus parking lot. The next episode of Law and Order: SVU was going to be based around your rape and murder and you wouldn't even be around to see who they cast as you. The hand pulled back and grabbed you by the shoulder, whipping you around. In front of you stood Judd.

You genuinely couldn't tell if he was angry about something or if he just looked like this all the time.

_"Give me your phone."_

His voice was low and monotoned and for a moment you didn't understand what he was asking, _"Why? Are you robbing me?"_

_"What? No, we're partners."_

_"Oh-"_ you shook the confusion off of your face and pulled your phone out, unlocking it and handing it to him, _"You said you liked working alone, so I just assumed-"_

He dialed his own phone number on your screen and let it ring before handing it back to you, now you had his number and he had yours.

_"Yeah, well, you cut up dead animals for a living."_

It didn't sound like a complete thought but he didn't go any further, leaving an awkwardness hanging between the two of you, _"... And?"_

_"And.. that's kinda fuckin' cool.", _A semi smile crept across his face as he backed away from you, turning around and heading back to his own car.

Connie sat in your passenger seat as you climbed into the drivers' side, her eyes cut with a slick grin on her face, _"How about that blue haired dykey chick with a tongue made of gold?"_

_"She'll look exactly like him with my eyes half closed."_

Connie growled, _"Oh now we're on the same page, baby."_

* * *

You were thankful that you'd only signed up for classed on Tuesdays and Thursdays for your first semester. Taxidermying took an exceptionally long time but it was also in high demand, whether it was for home decor or for people to remember their lost pets. You'd managed to build up a steady clientele and had started selling mounted birds, insects, and bats while trying to save up enough to get ahead on bills for your next semester. By the time your Anatomy class rolled around on Thursday, you'd finally finished up two Cardinals and someone's pet opossum. Your other classmates thought it was odd how excited your professor was for the dissection today, but you matched his enthusiasm. 

_"All right class, if you could just line up one by one to pick out your fetal pigs!"_

You and Judd marched to the front of the room, everyone else taking their time, not wanting to get close to the corpses in the first place.

_"Do you have a preference?"_

Judd turned to you, _"I think you're more qualified to make this decision."_

You couldn't deny that his shitty attitude was a major turn on, you'd always been attracted to guys like that. But you always absolutely fucking _loved _throwing it back at them. 

_"I thought future serial killers got off on dead animals before they moved on to their human victims?"_

Picking up the one that you could tell had been dead for the least amount of time, you left Judd at the front of the classroom and headed back towards your desk. Unbeknownst to you, he was allowing you to leave him behind so he could subtly get a glimpse of your swaying ass. Maury crept up beside him, hopping up and down like a jack rabbit.

_"Oh she TOTALLY wants to be your first victim!"_

The hint of a smile dropped from Judd's face as he cut his eyes at Maury, _"I'm not fucking killing.. well, not her, at least."_

_"Ugh.."_, He rolled his eyes and followed you to the back of the room. Watching you remove every organ and bone from the carcass and setting it in position to the left of the now hollow body.

_"All right, what is this?"_, you pointed with your scalpel to the kidney.

_"Pancreas."_

_"No. What's this?"_, pointing to the bladder this time.

_"Liver."_

_"Still no. What about this one?"_, this time pointing to the small intestine.

_"Large intestine."_

You were honestly impressed by how wrong yet confident he was. Connie purred behind you, _"Oh, sounds like he's one of those dumb ones. You remember what that means, suga?"_

But you just ignored her and kept focussing on your dissection. You could've just told him the answers and let him copy them down, turn them in and not learn a thing, but you wanted to be a good partner.

_"Close, small intestine. You'll need to know these for the test on Tuesday, y'know."_

Maury spoke to Judd from over his shoulder, _"That's right you fucking psychopath, play it dumb. Tell her you might need some "AFTER. SCHOOL. TUTORING." "_, he said while thrusting agains the table below you. As much as Judd hated taking Maury's advice, it wasn't so bad this time and he actually would need help studying for the upcoming test.

You put all the organs and parts back inside the pig and started packing up, completely ignoring your professor as he yelled over the other loud students.

_"All right you young, bright minds! Be sure to get together with your partners over the weekend, the test on Tuesday is pass/fail and you're graded as a unit. If one of you fail, you both fail!"_

You got back out to your car and again just barely opened the door before it was slammed by another hand from behind you. You, _again_, were jerked around by a stranger, but it didn't scare you nearly as bad this time. Your lab partner stood in front of you, but he didn't say anything. 

You finally broke the silence, _"Uh, hey?"_

_"Hey."_

Maury was screaming in his ear, _"Tell her! Tell her about how you want to set this entire school on fire and FUCK her on the hood of your car while you watch it burn!"_

He hissed at Maury to go fuck himself, to which Maury gleefully obliged, before continuing, _"Teach said we needed to pair up this weekend so you don't fail the test because of me."_

You leaned back against the door, _"It would be accurate payback for me almost hitting you with my car a few days ago."_

The rare sighting of his smile made its appearance once again, _"I've already rewritten my will. You're stuffing my body and hand delivering it to my army of raccoons when I'm inevitably killed in during a political riot."_

Connie hopped down from the hood of your car with a confused look on her face, _"I.. I think this is his version of flirting?"_

You couldn't help but to smile back at him, _"I'll text you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this and also love Rick and Morty, check out my page and read up on my Rick x Reader fic. I'm picking it back up soon with the new season that's about to start.  
Also, please leave any suggestions or remarks in the comments below. I appreciate anything that anyone has to say.


	2. Dead Roommates

You woke up late on Saturday morning next to the blue haired girl that you'd invited over the night before. As many times as you'd had her over, you could never remember her name. Her number was saved in your phone under "The Golden Snitch". Because of this, you resorted to only ever calling her pet names, which was a bad move on your part. You knew she was catching feelings, but right now you just wanted her out of your fucking bed.

You threw your legs over the side of your bed and searched for a shirt on the floor, finally pulling on a plain white t-shirt and a pair of cheeky, black panties from your dresser. You stared at yourself in the full length mirror for a moment, admiring how the shirt rode up over your curvy hips. The slight jiggle in your thighs and the way your nipples poked through the t-shirt. After a long, tough battle with the Depression Kitty, you'd grown to really, really love your body. It'd definitely helped that you'd finally grown into it too, though.

Connie snaked her long hair around your hips while taking pride in what a beautiful, confident woman she'd helped you become. You sleepily looked over at her.

_"I doubted you for those first few years, Connie. But I gotta admit, you did a damn good job."_

She nodded in agreeance, _"Some of my finest work, baby."_

You heard the girl that you'd forgotten was still in your bed start to mumble, she'd be waking up soon and you wanted more than anything to just avoid another morning after conversation. So you ordered her an Uber and when they were two minutes away, you decided it was time to show her out. Though you had a less than subtle way of waking her.

You pulled back the covers, she lay on her stomach with her barely covered ass now exposed to the white washed walls and light that streamed in from your blindless windows. You swung down, planting your flat palm hard across her sensitive skin. That sure woke her up.

Her hands went to her cheeks and she grabbed her pink skin, _"What in the **fuck**, Cal??"_

You couldn't help but to chuckle at her expense, _"Sorry, babe. I've got work to do and your Uber is almost here."_

You tossed her the items of clothing that you'd been eager to tear off of her the night before. She scrambled to pull them on while you hearded her out the front door, stopping in the door frame.

_"Can't we ever like.. talk. Catch a coffee, maybe get some breakfast."_

You almost felt bad knowing that she was falling for what had _always _been nothing more than a casual hookup. But then again, that was her problem, not yours. You rested a hand on her cheek and she lovingly leaned into it, assuming you were about to finally ask her out on a formal date.

_"Thanks for the orgasms, but I don't date."_

She sighed in disgust and backed out of the door frame as you slammed the door behind her. She'd be pissed at you for a few weeks, but then she'd text you in the middle of the night during a horny moment of weakness like usual. You turned back around and started toward your kitchenette, Connie sat on the counter with one knee crossed over the other.

_"Jesus Christ, you're like a.. frat boy without the rophies."_

You responded while pouring your mug full of coffee, _"I don't need rophies." _Hopping up onto the counter opposite from your hormone monster and bringing the rich coffee to your lips, _"Not to sound ungrateful, Connie, but I've been done with puberty for YEARS now."_

She brought her knees to her chest and reminisced on all the good times you'd had together, _"Ten years we've been together, suga. Wait.. are you saying??"_

She grabbed her hair and held it close to her face, tears in her eyes and she feared the inevitable. 

_"No, Connie, I'm not-"_

_"Are you tired of me?? What did I do, did I push too hard?! What did I say?"_

You hopped off the counter and stood in front of her, holding her massive paws in your tiny hands, _"Connie, we've been over this. I love you, you're welcome to stay as long as you want. I just can't help but to wonder.. what's next? You helped me through years of depression, exploring my sexuality, losing my virginity-"_

Connie gathered herself and purred, leaning in close to you, _"Mm, over and over and over again.."_

You smiled and cocked your head, begging her with your facial expression to please stay on topic. 

_"I see what you're sayin' baby, there will come a day that I will leave you. But right now, if it weren't for me you would NEVER get laid! You'd bury yourself in school and work and your poor little pussy would grow cobwebs!"_

_"Yeah, and I probably wouldn't have 'taken a year off' either. I could already be a year in to a fucking 8 year prison sentence."_

It was true, you'd gotten lucky and taken on quite a few of your dad's old taxidermy clients. You were making good money straight out of high school and it only got better once your dad retired. You hadn't seen a _need _to go to college at first, so you spent your first year of freedom in a tiny apartment in the city. Acquiring the best fake ID you'd ever seen and going out at night, doing your work in the solitude of your apartment during the day. But living in the city was expensive, so you packed up and moved to Bridgeton. You paid less for a two bedroom here than you did for a studio there. You might've been 45 minutes away from home, but at least you weren't sharing a single room with a dozen dead animals anymore.

You spent the remainder of the late morning touching up your lavender hair. You'd been neglecting it with the move taking up most of your time, it'd faded into a lovely icy silver color that you truly didn't mind, but it was time. 

Then you opened the blinds in your taxidermy room. It was the only room you'd bothered to put blinds up in so far, figuring that your neighbors didn't want to see animal busts and various animal carcasses laying out to dry for days at a time. Though more sunlight definitely would've helped the whole process. You were just moving on to your second bat of the day, an adorable little Northern Bat that you'd found while scouring the forest. Poor guy seemed to have flown right into a tree and met his demise. 

The sun was beginning to set just as you were making the first incision, that was when your phone dinged in your pocket. You usually put it on silent, so the high pitched noise and sudden vibration startled you, causing you to pierce right through his tiny, delicate rib cage.

You growled through gritted teeth, “God. Fucking. Damnit.”

You threw down your scalpel and snapped off your gloves, having already ruined your entire project. You didn't even look at who it was before answering and bringing the phone up to your ear.

_"I swear to **fucking **God, Goldie-"_

But who you assumed had ruined your work was _not_ the voice that matched on the other end of the line.

_"Goldie? Who's Goldie?"_

You recognized the deep, monotoned voice and your tone immediately softened. 

Judd sat in his dark bedroom on the other end of the line, scowling at the phone. He wondering who the hell “Goldie” was and what they’d done to piss you off so bad. 

_ “Sorry, you’re not - Nevermind, what’s up?” _

The sound waves of your voice drifted through the phone and into his head, causing his mind to swirl with a Starry Night view painted with pastel purples, shimmering dark blues and soft shades of grey. 

Maury slid off the end of the bed with the dreamy waves as they flowed out of Judd’s other ear and around his furry body, _“Jesus CHRIST her voice is like fucking silk. We gotta pull out - WAIT, scratch that. We DON’T pull out. That’s it, we’re risking it with this one!”_

Judd stepped off the bed and leaned against the wall on the other end of the room to get away from his hormone monster, _“Studying, think you can manage to make time for that?”_

He always managed to keep up his hard ass facade, using it to scare away as many people as possible. But you saw through it. 

_ “Try to contain your excitement, I’m begging you.” _

He allowed a chuckle to slip past his lips and it brought a smile to your face before you continued, _“Yeah, I’m free for the rest of the night. What time were you thinking?”_

_ “I’ll surprise you.” _

_“Wait, do you need my-“_ He hung up before you could even finish your sentence, _“....address?”_

Judd twisted his burner phone backwards in his hands until it snapped in half, dropping it onto the floor and moving his hands to his studded belt. 

Maury stepped in, _“No, no, no! What are you DOING?! Don’t waste a perfectly good load on your bedroom floor, save it! Paint that girl’s insides with it!”_

Judd ignored his pleas, pulling his throbbing cock out of his jeans, _“I’m not letting you make me pop a boner the second she mentions.. slicing into a bear’s stomach and pulling out it’s guts, ohh fuck...”_

This was exactly why Maury stuck around well past puberty with this kid, _“You are **seriously** fucked up, man. But I’m into it.”_

The sun set and the moon rose with no sign of Judd stopping by for your study session. You couldn’t deny that you were a tiny bit disappointed, but you forgot about him the moment your stomach started grumbling. Remembering that you hadn’t made time to eat a single time today, you settled into a pair of comfortable Nike shorts and an old, tattered Nine Inch Nails t-shirt before deciding on what to make. 

You turned up your phone and sang along softly to the music while frying a skillet full of vegetables. Unable to hear the low creak of your door opening over the music and oil popping in the pan. Judd creeped in slowly, listening to you whisper the lyrics to yourself and taking in their irony. 

_“All the good girls go to hell, ‘cause even god Herself has enemies.”_

He looked you up and down, seeing more of your bare skin now than he’d been exposed to those two days you had class together. He noticed your ink covered legs, one in all black and the other filled with color. But he soon snapped out of it, not wanting you to turn around and find him ogling at you like some pervert.

He’d decided on his way over that he needed a good laugh, a way to break the tension. So he walked lightly up behind you and made sure not to stand too close, waiting. It didn’t take long though. Soon you turned off the eye and the sizzling vegetables quieted down. You turned around your heart stopped, if only for a moment before you realized who was hiding behind you for God knows how long. 

Your hands flew to your mouth to stop from screaming and when you realized (or hoped, anyways) that you weren’t in any _real _danger, your eyes closed in relief and your mouth formed a smile underneath your fingers. 

Your hand went to your heart in an attempt to still it and you leaned back against the counter, _“Is this how you greet everyone? Holy fuck dude..”_

You’d heard a few of his half hearted chuckles in those two days you sat beside each other, but this time he let out a true laugh. 

_”Your door was unlocked, that’s how you get carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey.”_

You responded while popping a floret of broccoli into your mouth, _“You understand that **you **are my murderer in this scenario, right?”_

He did, if you were to turn up dead after Judd left that night, he would be a valid suspect. What he didn’t understand was why this young chick that lived alone wasn’t calling the police on him. Better yet, how did he just _know _that you were gonna be cool with his joke in the first place?

_“Wait, how did you know where I live?”_

_”That’s.. none of your damn concern. I came here to study, not for you to grill me like those vegetables.”_

_”They’re sautéed, friend. Want one?” _You asked while tossing a zucchini nickel into your mouth and extending the plate in your hand toward him.

You ended up sharing the plate with Judd while going over your notes. Sitting across from him on your living room floor with the papers and index cards scattered over your coffee table, you quizzed him with flash cards until he could name what organ or body part was on the paper before you even lifted the card all the way.

He leaned his shoulders back against the couch and looked at the room around him, _“I’m disappointed with the atmosphere, I expected something a little more-“_

_”Morbid?” _You interjected, having heard it before.

He smiled and nodded his head but didn’t respond. 

_“Come on, I’ll give you a tour.” _You stood up and extended a hand, he accepted it but couldn’t stop himself from eyeing your shorts that’d ridden even further up your thighs. 

You pointed out the obvious kitchen, living and dining room before moving down the hallway. Judd stopped in front of the spare bedroom, the room that you used as your workshop.

_”Whose door is this?”_

You slid between him and the door, resting your back against the wooden frame. You were closer than what he’d anticipated and he felt a chill run up his spine. 

_“My roommates’ “_

Judd motioned over your head toward the room, _“They in there?”_

You found joy playing with him, so you nodded your head ‘yes’ and lowered your voice, _“Mhm.. you wanna know a secret about them?..”_

He couldn’t find the words to respond, couldn’t even manage a simple “yes” or “no”. Instead he just nodded and focused on not leaning further into you. But your words came out in a whisper, so much so that he _had _to lean in closer just to hear them.

_”They’re all dead...”_

A sick smile spread across his face and he felt his pants grow. His arm lifted up to rest on the doorframe above you and his head turned to fit yours. Your hazel eyes holding contact with his green ones and his voice matching your low whisper.

_“How about we skip to the part where you show me your room?”_

You slid out from under his towering shadow and back into the light of your living room, amused by the suddenly confused look on his face.

_”How about next time.”_

Judd shoved his hands into his pocket and sized you up as he walked toward you, the whole while you were still backing up toward your front door.

_”And how about next time-“ _You swung the door open, _“- You knock.”_

He showed himself out the door, catching your hint. He was impressed though at how well you’d fooled him, he’d truly thought he was about to score an easy lay.

He nodded his head and you caught his last smile of the night, _“Noted. Catch ya later, Cali.”_


	3. Ted Bundy and Aileen Wuornos

Judd watched as you strolled into Anatomy a mere second before being counted late. Your lavender hair pulled up into a messy bun with strands of loose hair hanging down in front of your face, he noticed the heavy bags under your eyes from across the room. Your scattered state of mind didn't allow you to realize that the chair you were about to sit down in was nowhere near your legs, you were about to bust your ass in front of everyone.

Luckily for you, Judd noticed that something was off. He also noticed that you were about to embarrass the fuck out of yourself, so he quickly shoved your seat to the side, effectively catching you before you fell.

_"What's up with you?", _You caught a hint of genuine concern in his voice.

Your face rested in your hands as you responded, _"I didn't get like any sleep last night. Right before I laid down I remembered that I needed to finish a customer's order by Friday."_

_"So we're pretty much fucked on this test."_

You could've laughed, but instead just flashed him a cocky smile, _"No, no, no. I could ace this test with my eyes closed."_

It wasn't really _you _that Judd was worried about flunking the test, though. Your professor passed around the blank sheets of paper, on them was an illustration of a pig laying on its back. Other smaller illustrations of all the organs, tissues and various guts filled the pig drawing and you were all instructed to just write the names of each item inside of them. It was simple for you, you'd cleaned out dozens of pigs, but you took your time. You left your page uncovered and pretended you didn't see Judd's wandering eyes. 

Class was dismissed early after the test, you were all sent home with instructions to read the first five chapters in your textbook and fill out the matching sections in your workbook. Thank God you didn't have to see this classroom again until Thursday because you knew that homework wasn't getting done tonight. You had way too much work to do.

You were zoned out while walking through the parking lot. So zoned out that you didn't notice the low voice yelling your name behind you.

_"Hey.. Hey, Cali!"_, Judd refused to speed up to a jog in order to catch up with you, _"Hey, Earth to Aileen Wuornos!"_

Now that caught your attention, you stopped in your tracks to find Judd walking straight toward you.

_"How did I know that would get your attention?"_

You didn't respond but he had at least managed to get a smile out of you, continuing, _"I was, uh.. wondering if you wanted to get together to do that homework assignment?.."_

You knew damn well that he didn't need help copying answers out of a text book, but his persistence was adorable. 

_"Are you **that **bad at anatomy?"_

Judd watched Maury appear right behind you and whisper in your ear as if you could hear him, _"Ohhh yeah, but he's an expert in C H E M I S T R Y!"_

_"Yeah.. something like that. What, like you've got something better to do?"_

You turned to continue walking away and he followed beside you, _"Yes, actually. I have to completely skin two different birds by the end of the day, I've barely started on either of them."_

He didn't know what came over him, but suddenly he was stepping in front of you. Forcing you to stop dead in your tracks and nearly causing you to run right into him.

_"Can I watch?"_

Your brow furrowed in confusion as you looked up at him, he towered over you by almost six inches, _"If you really want to.. it isn't exactly exciting work."_

Judd's hand nervously went to the back of his neck, rubbing his shaved scalp. _"Yeah, I uh.. I think it might help me catch on, y'know."_

You nodded and scoffed sarcastically, _"Oh, I'm sure... Come on, you drive. I walked today."_

** _********** JUDD'S POV **********_ **

_"It might smell in here, I preserved a bat in formaldehyde a few days ago. So.. be prepared."_

She was right, there was still a strange scent lingering in the air. The room was bright and her artwork covered the walls. Butterflies pressed in frames, canaries surrounded by roses in shadow boxes. When I first heard her say she was a Taxidermist I imagined mounted deer heads and bears triple her size permanently fashioned into vicious poses. I approached a huge, round frame that was mounted on the wall and actually took the time to admire it.

_"I was hoping for that reaction. It took me fucking weeks to finish that piece and I still have to fasten the legs onto it."_

Now I saw it, it was the top of what would be a coffee table. Clear acrylic with electric blue and bright orange butterflies set in it so precisely, like they were all intricate puzzle pieces surrounded by a copper trim.

_"Not to sound like a fag.. but this is fucking beautiful."_

She chuckled and spun around in her chair, I heard the snap of latex gloves and took the seat across from her at the work table. Between us lay two small birds on opposite trays but facing each other.

_"How did they die?"_

She shrugged while moving around the feathers on the red bird's stomach with an exacto knife, _"Don't know, don't care. It's not my job to ask questions, it's just my job to make them look beautiful forever."_

I got the feeling that she needed to concentrate, so I just watched. Maury and I sat hunched over the table for hours watching her skin, behead and remove the innards from these animals. Our jaws gaping the whole time. At some point I noticed her knife finally stop moving and my eyes traveled up to hers, she was watching me watch her.

I closed my jaw and swallowed hard, I'd never _actually _seen so much blood and guts before.

_"There's an empty trash can in the corner if you're gonna hurl."_

For a second I thought I was gonna need it, but she finished up after awhile and coated the animals' insides with a cornstarch and borax mixture before setting their trays on a dry shelf in the corner. The sun had started to set and she closed the door behind us.

_"Chill in here for a second, I'll be right back."_

She retreated to her bedroom for just a few minutes, coming back out in something more comfortable than her previous skinny jeans and t-shirt. That was when Maury showed back up, right beside me on the couch.

_"Listen you fucking young Ted Bundy, you know I wouldn't say this if I didn't absolutely mean it. Propose to her. Get down on one knee and propose to her right. fucking. now."_

And I understood exactly why he said it. She came back out in a pair of tight ass leggings and an old school X-Files t-shirt, barefoot and holding her stash in her hands. A two foot tall bong tucked in one arm and a tin box in the other. She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye.

_"Wanna match?"_

My words almost came out in a moan, _"Fucking.. fuck yes."_

The bong was an awkward height, it was too tall for her to hold on her lap but too short for her to put on the floor and bend over. So she compromised by resting on her knees on the carpeted living room floor. Her perfectly thick thighs sat together and her bare feet rested under her juicy ass.

Maury's words echoed in my ears, _"Now imagine her in that **exact **position, but with you THRUSTING into her throat in front of her!"_

I closed my eyes, trying my fucking best not to get hard. I kept telling myself that I just needed to get high. As soon as that buzz set in, I wouldn't be able to pop a boner even if I wanted to. But I opened my eyes just in time to witness the most beautiful sight. He head tilted back, thick smoke blowing through her lips before turning and handing me the glass.

Soon we were sitting on the same couch and for the first time in so, so long, I was laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes. She was telling me about a time that she'd gotten high with some friends as a teenager, broken into an abandoned building and impersonated a cop. 

I could barely get out my words through the laughter, _"All right, I don't fuckin' believe you. There's no way!"_

She looked at me with wide, bloodshot eyes, _"What, why??"_

_"Look at you! You can't tell me that YOU not only stuff peoples' pets for a living, but you're a fuckin' stoner that trespasses and impersonates cops on the side, too?"_

She cocked her head and looked at me curiously. Her voice softened in a way that made me feel like I was gonna melt into a puddle on her floor, _"What do you mean 'look at me'? What do I look like, Judd?"_

I don't know if it was from the weed or her intense eye contact, but my mouth felt so dry. It was probably only a few seconds but it felt like an hour before I could find the words to respond, and even when I did I just managed to make myself sound like a fucking dumbass.

_"I don't know, like a.. fucking flower. No! Like one of those butterflies on your wall, the big orange ones."_

_"Monarch butterfly.. I'll take that as a compliment."_

She didn't say anything after that and neither did I. My stupid, high ass was swimming in her sleepy, hazel eyes. I zoned out, didn't even realize that my thumb had found its way to her palm and began stroking her soft skin. The only thing that eventually brought my back was her voice.

_"It's getting late, Judd. I need to get some sleep."_

_"Right.."_

She showed me out the door but I turned back around before she could close it, sticking my foot through the frame.

_"Wait -" _She knew what I thought of her, now I wanted to know the same, _"What do **you **think of **me**?"_

She smiled, _'I think you should stop being a stranger."_

************************

Connie and Maurice hid behind the stairwell and watched. Maury shook his head, _"That poor guy is a sitting duck, your girl is gonna **ruin **him."_

Your Hormone Monstress purred back into Maury's ear, _"Oh yeah she is, in alllllll the best ways possible.."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this! Please leave me some feedback, I love hearing from you guys. Constructive criticism is also always appreciated!


	4. Jack Daniels

You sat on the trunk of your car after class that Thursday, smoking a cigarette and scrolling through your phone. Soon Judd was turning the corner to your car and stopping in front of you. He held his hand out for the cigarette, you passed it to him.

_"What are you hanging around here for?"_

He exhaled the smoke and handed it back to you, _"You were late for your appointment to scare the shit out of me, I was getting worried."_

Judd smirked. God, did you love how his eyes remained apathetic no matter what his mood was, _"You're starting to expect it.. that means I've gotta turn up the heat."_

The two of you passed the cigarette and a second one back and forth, you felt electricity running through your body every time your fingers accidentally brushed his. Like static shock, but without the quick burst of fear. 

_"So my gay ass sister is having a stupid party tomorrow while our parents are out of town-"_

Your eyebrows rose, you were always down to get fucked up so you interjected, _"And you need someone cool to teach them how it's done?"_

He stepped closer toward you, _"You think you're cool?"_

You parted your legs and he rested between them, sitting on the trunk of your car gave you a slight height advantage. Still, you leaned back with your hands resting flat behind you.

_"**You **think I'm cool, Judd."_

He bit his lip gently and didn't deny the fact. Instead you noticed his eyes sizing you up before he finally responded, _"I'll pick you up at 9."_

_"Just send me the address, I wanna be able to dip out if you somehow get **too **weird."_

Judd backed up from your thighs and made his way to his car, Maury waiting in the passenger seat, _"Oh, it's **definitely **gonna get weird."_

You spent Friday delivering the cardinal and bluejay that you'd worked so hard on, fashioning them into an antique bird cage and decorating it with preserved eucalyptus and hydrangeas. That afternoon you finally gave into Connie's persistent suggestion to take a bubble bath. The warm water soothed you of all your anxieties, the shea butter bubble solution left your skin velvety soft. Connie dipped her hooves in the tub and spoke to you while you relaxed.

_"What's the game plan for tonight, honeysuckle?"_

You spooned the water over your exposed knee with your cupped hand, _"To get drunk, maybe smoke. That's my only plan."_

She crossed her arms and looked at you suspiciously, _"Mhmm, I don't recall you shaving from head to toe and taking a bwubble bwath any other time you just planned to get drunk."_

Her large paw rested on your chest and guided you back against the bath pillow, she stirred the water with her claws so it flowed over your body and spoke to you slowly. You closed your eyes and listened, her voice always having a particular way of calming you.

_"I've been doin' this for a loooong time, suga plum.. You and that boy could make the earth shake, angels would sing!"_

You pulled the bath stopper with your toe and stepped out, wrapping your robe around you and towel drying your hair.

_"First, even if we DID hook up, you and I both known it would be anything but biblical. Second, I won't have any openings for another fuck buddy until I kick Goldie to the curb!"_

_"So ghost the blue haired bitch and make room for your new blue boy, baby!"_

You shrugged your shoulders at her suggestion, you'd been heavily considering it lately. But it was nearing 9 o'clock and you finally got the text from Judd with his address. You blow dried your hair and brushed it into the loose, thick curls that they naturally fell into before standing in front of your mirror trying on outfits for another half hour. 

You finally reached the house at half past 9, approaching the door in a pair of faded, midrise black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees and a pale yellow t-shirt that you'd tied up into a crop top. The house was big, nice. Much nicer than your apartment or the house that you'd grown up in in the city. You rang the doorbell and rested your elbow against the pearly white door frame.

Judd came to the door in his usual black jeans and grey t-shirt, _"You're not the middle aged delivery guy with his dick in a pizza box that I ordered."_

_"And you're not a naked eighteen year old that conveniently forgot she'd ordered a pizza right before hopping in the shower."_

The house was filled with high schoolers, most of them looked to be fifteen or sixteen, along with a few middle schoolers. Judd showed you to the kitchen, in it was a group of kids drinking something called Cotton Candy Brandy and an older blonde girl refilling a solo cup to the brim with wine. 

One of the middle schoolers, a tan kid with dark hair, was taking shots from a bubblegum pink shot glass and yelling _"Party Wolf in the hooouuuseee!" _and then howling.

_"Party wolf? I like it. I'd show you one of my wolf tattoos if I could roll these jeans up."_

The kid eyed you and made a rather smooth attempt at flirting, _"Well, helllooo.. may I offer you a glass of Cotton Candy Brandy, m'lady?"_

You couldn't help but to laugh, knowing he'd be pulling chicks left and right in the next few years. _"I'm good. All that sugar's gonna give you one hell of a hangover."_

Judd grabbed a bottle of Jack from beneath the sink and mixed you a Jack and Coke, handing you a straight shot at the same time. He looked at each of them individually, annoyed at their mere presence. _"She doesn't drink that pussy shit. Or your gay ass wine, Leah. All of you, scram."_

The blonde girl was adorable. She wasn't your type, but she was like a ray of sunshine personified. _"You finally bring home a girl and you aren't even gonna introduce us? So much for being America's sweetheart."_

A tiny, brown haired boy approached you, holding out his hand rather formally for you to shake. You could tell he was already drunk, it was probably his first time. _"Hello, miss. My name is Nick, I'm Judd's brother. If he's holding you here against your will, blink twice."_

You laughed and shook his hand, _"Just call me Cal, Nick."_

Nick rolled your name around around in his lips, repeating it a few times before being satisfied with how it sounded. 

_"All right, now that everyone is introduced you can all take your shitty juice and clear the fuck out." _Judd ushered both of his siblings and their friends back into the living room with the rest of the party goers. You lifted yourself up on the counter and swung your legs back and forth, holding out your shot glass for him to pour you another as he walked back toward you.

He cocked an eyebrow, "_Trying to show off?"_

You shook your head as he poured, _"Just showing you how it's done."_

The two of you tapped glasses and threw back your shots, you chased it with your Jack and Coke. Admittedly, you fucking hated Jack Daniels.

_"So you were talking shit about my apartment while you're the one living in Caesar's Palace, care to explain that?"_

You kept holding your glass out for him to refill and Judd matched every shot you took. _"They don't exactly put me in charge of interior decorating around here."_

_"There's probably a good reason for that. Let me guess, your room is either covered in disturbing details or completely bare with nothing but a twin sized mattress in the middle of the floor."_

The alcohol finally started to hit you as you watched him come closer. Your legs instinctually parted, allowing him to make himself as home between them. His hands rested on the countertop on either side of your hips.

_"I can show you.." _Fucking A, you loved when his voice got soft, "_I can roll us a blunt.."_

Your face inched closer to his while you got lost in his emerald green eyes, _"Booze **and **bud? I think you're trying to take advantage of me, Judd."_

You could hear your own heartbeat thumping in your chest as his forehead rested against yours, then came to a dead stop when you felt his hands sliding over the top of your thighs. 

_"I think you just want me to take advantage of you, Cal."_

Suddenly, everything that you'd told Connie earlier had become a lie. You wanted him. He could've told told you to bend over the island right there and you would've happily obliged. But he didn't ask and your blown mind couldn't have thunk up a witty response even if you'd tried. 

_"Come on."_

He grabbed your hand and pulled you off the counter, grabbing the bottle of Jack with the other. You followed him through the crowd of drunk teenagers in the living room and up the stairs. Leah eyed the two of you, watching you disappear to the second floor of the house. 

His room was a dark contrast to the rest of the home. You were right, his walls were covered from top to bottom with posters and stolen street signs. Shelves were decorated with swords, knives and machetes. You sipped your drink while carefully looking over every detail. Judd kicked off his shoes and grabbed a box from his closet. He sat open legged on his bed and laid a tray in front of him, starting his work on the blunt that he'd promised you. 

Minutes passed and Judd finally tossed his makeshift work station off to the side of his bed, you heard the flick of his lighter and breathed in the strong scent. You too kicked off your shoes, taking the spot in front of him. Melting as he held eye contact with you while exhaling the light smoke, then passing it to you. Back and forth, back and forth until the world around you had slowed way down. 

At some point you laid back across his mattress, upside down so your head was resting at the end of his bed. Judd leaned onto his elbow beside you, watching you fall into a place of complete comfort. He held the blunt to your lips, allowing you to take one last hit before putting it out. 

He studied the details of your face, counting every freckle on the bridge of your nose when you finally noticed him looking at you so intently.

_"What are you thinking?"_

The weed and whiskey had his guard down, _"I'd fuckin' love to see you rolling."_

You smiled a wide grin and held back laughter from the thought of him on ecstasy, _"You just like seeing me fucked up."_

You weren't sure how long he'd been doing it, but you noticed his fingers grazing across your exposed stomach. Tracing circles and other shapes on your skin so gently that you grew goosebumps.

_"I just like seeing you."_

Your eyes shot up to his, they were drawing you in. You wanted so bad to just crawl ontop of him but at the same time, everything in your head was telling you to retreat. The way he made your heart flutter was making you nervous. You'd never felt like this before and you didn't know what to do beside run. But you couldn't move, not away anyways. 

_"It's getting late, Judd."_

His face was lowering, slowly closing the gap between the two of you. _"Mhm. And you're fucked up, you can't drive."_

His hand was now moving up your side, yours gripped the bottom of his shirt, _"So are you."_

Judd's hand slid around the back of your neck, pulling you up and closer to him. Your lips were so close to touching, _"Looks like you're stuck with me, then."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s starting to heat up, people! I’d love to know if you guys are liking this story so far. I also appreciate any advice, suggestions, criticism, kudos, etc.  
Stay tuned! Sundays are my new regular post days!


	5. Different

You closed the gap. You tilted your face to perfectly fit his and kissed him hard, more passionately than you'd ever kissed anyone. Judd held your face to his by the back of your neck, running his fingers through your soft hair. Your body was on fucking fire.

His warm tongue slipped past your lips and danced with yours. His rough hands moved from your hair back down to your neck, sliding around to the front of your throat. You couldn't stop the soft moan from escaping your throat. He smiled against you and pulled away for just a moment, whispering.

_"God damn, you fuckin' like that, don't you?"_

You nodded your head and pushed back against him so he was sitting up, swinging your legs over either side of his lap. His hand stayed on your throat, squeezing just hard enough for you to feel the pressure. You bit his lip, trying to get even more of a physical response out of him.

It worked, you felt a low groan escape his lips and his other hand gripped you by the waist, trying to pulling you even closer to him. It wasn't possible though, you were as close as you could be but you needed more. Judd leaned back against the wall behind his bed, giving you more room on his lap that you didn't waste any time taking advantage of. You ground yourself against him. Hard. 

_"So fucking hot.."_

He pushed his lap up against you and the hand on your throat joined his other one on your waist, sliding up your shirt and gripping your warm skin. It was like you were having an out of body experience. You were buried in each others' faces but you could just picture what you must've looked like. His hands traveling all over your body, your hips rocking back and forth against him. Soon his lips pulled away from yours and grazed your jaw, kissing their way down your skin and to your neck, sucking on you gently. You were lost in the slight pain of his bites that were followed by the soft relief of his tongue lapping at the wound. 

But a concerning sound outside of his bedroom perked your ears.

_"What's that?"_

Judd couldn't hear anything past your breathy moans, _"I didn't hear anything, babe."_

You tried to ignore it, moving your lips back to his briefly before hearing it again. It sounded like yelling. You placed your hand on his chest and pulled your face away from him. 

_"No, something is going on.."_

Judd stopped to listen and soon he heard what you had heard, it was Leah. You hopped off of his lap and went for the door, Judd following. You both peaked down the steps, watching the game of charades that ensued in the living room below.

_"You're making it sound like I assaulted you or something!"_

Leah was obviously upset, _"You tried to push my head down!"_

There was a crowd circling Leah and some guy, most of the girls backing up Leah's claim that the guy had tried to "head push" them. You turned to Judd and could tell he was getting angrier the more he heard.

_"Sounds like that creep tried to make your sister blow him."_

Judd grabbed you by the arm, pulling you back up the hallway and into his room. He grabbed a small switchblade from his shelf.

_"Where are you going?"_

He ushered you toward his bed and sat you down, giving you one last kiss before heading for the door. _"You stay here, I'll be back."_

The door closed behind him and suddenly your world was spinning. Your chest was heavy and your lungs felt deflated. Connie appeared in a tornado of bright red hair, spinning and grabbing your hands. 

_“What’d I tell you? You were so close, baby! Until that closeted head pusher had to go and RUIN it!”_

You pulled your hands away from her and held your head, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. _“What the hell is happening to me? I can’t fucking breathe, Connie. My heart’s about to jump out of my fucking chest..”_

Maury erupted from the closet, _“What the FUCK, is your girl fucking catching feelings?!”_

Connie pointed a long, painted claw at Maury’s chest, _“MY girl?? Oh no, baby, YOUR boy hasn’t been able to stay away from her since the moment they met! He’s getting her head all twisted up in knots! Come here, suga-“_

She reached out and held your still spinning head but you pulled away, _“Please, both of you just go away!”_

Connie clutched her hair, hurt, but she understood what was happening even if you didn’t yet. She disappeared in a light puff of smoke and Maury retreated back into the closet. 

_“If either of you need me I’ll be in here.... **not** watching.”_

You sat on the edge of the bed for what felt like forever, resting your elbows on your knees and holding your head in your hands. Judd pushed back through his door, closing his switchblade and tossing it onto his desk before he noticed you retreating into yourself. 

_“Hey, you okay?”_

Everything in your body was telling you to stand up, just leave and you’d feel better the second you walked out the door. 

_“I just.. I gotta go.”_

You struggled to grab your shoes, putting them on would’ve been a whole other challenge. You didn’t get the chance to face that battle though because Judd wouldn’t let you. He knocked your shoes out of your hand and squatted to your level in front of the bed, holding your face steady in his hands.

_”You’re not goin’ anywhere. Look at me, what’s up with you? You got the spins? Are you gonna get sick?”_

Suddenly he was so attentive, so concerned. You closed your eyes and shook your head. _“No, I’m good.. I just shouldn’t have mixed vices. I need to get out of here.”_

You tried to stand up but his arms were like cinder blocks resting on your thighs, _”I already told you, you’re not going anywhere. There’s a lot of recklessness that I fully condone but driving fucked up isn’t one of them. You’re staying with me.”_

Judd grabbed your keys from the floor beside him, tossing them into one of the desk drawers and spinning the chain lock wrapped around the handle. Then he made his way to the door, yelling down the stairwell.

_“Leah, tell your retarded friends to clear out! Party’s over!”_

He slammed the door behind him and flipped off the lights, leaving only a few tiny black and red lights illuminating the room. You untied your loose shirt, letting it swallow up your torso. Judd pulled his shirt over his head and watched you struggle with your jeans in your inebriated state. 

_“Ugh, here, let me help.”_

He lowered himself in front of you once again, this time pushing you onto your back against the mattress. His hands quickly unbuttoned your jeans and pulled them down over your ass, thighs, calves and feet. You knew plenty of guys that would’ve used this as an opportunity to cop a feel, but not him. He was just taking care of you. 

Judd stood back up and dropped his jeans, leaving him in only his boxer briefs in front you. But not for long. He turned the corner of the bed and sat directly behind you, finding the bottom hem of your shirt and running his hand underneath it, tracing his fingers up your spine. 

_“What are you doing?”_

He stopped in the middle of your back, _“You wanna sleep with your bra on?”_

He waited for you to shake your head no before continuing, unhooking your bra with expertise. You pulled it out from under your shirt and tossed it on the floor. 

Judd slid up to the top of the bed and turned the blankets down, laying back and waiting for you. You looked at his open arms like they were some sort of bear trap, like once they got you in their grip they wouldn’t ever let you out alive. You were terrified. 

But you took the plunge. You crawled to the top of the bed and rested against him, he pulled the blankets over your bodies and closed his arms around you, not saying another word. 

_“Why are you taking care of me?”_

Judd was already asking himself the same question. He didn’t know why he felt such an intense urge to protect you, but he did. 

He sighed before responding, _“I.. don’t know.”_

************ JUDD'S POV ************

I laid in bed for hours seething over that stupid fucking fag Daniel. Slashing his tires, and everyone else's, brought some level of instant gratification. But it didn't fix the moment that he'd ruined. That's right, it wasn't the fact that he'd pretty much tried to molest Leah that had me pissed, I knew she could take care of herself. It was that he got in the way of me getting my dick wet. 

At least that's all I _thought _I'd wanted from this chick. I don't know, when I came back in the room and saw her spinning, all I could think was that I needed to protect her. And now, with her steady breaths hitting my chest.. No, not a wink of sleep was happening. 

The sun didn't shine through my black out curtains but I knew that it was early. She would be waking up soon. So I slipped out from under her grasp and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, heading downstairs to grab her some water and headache medicine, knowing she'd need them. 

A shrill noise interrupted my thoughts, _"That for Caaaaal?"_

Leah's voice had always been and will always be the most annoying sound to hit my ears. 

_"Fuck off."_

She leaned against the counter, _"So you **didn't **kick her out after you were done with her, she must be special."_

I ignored her and went to walk back through the living room, but stopped in the doorframe. _"There was no "done" because your rapist boyfriend fucking ruined it, LEAH!"_

Finally, she showed some ounce of shame, _"Oh.. yeah. He's obviously not my boyfriend but.. sorry about that."_

I stood in the frame for a moment, trying to find a way to ask her about what to do next. I fucking hated that I was asking my little sister for advice, but I couldn't fucking ask Maury. His only suggestions were always to fuck her or kill myself. 

Leah broke the silence, _"She **is **special, isn't she?"_

_"I don't even fucking know her. She's not even my type."_

Leah laughed and tossed me the bottle of headache medicine that I was about to forget, _"Why? Because she's not a homicidal maniac?"_

I shrugged, _"So.. what do I do then?"_

_"Take her out. Do something that you want to do. If she's into it, maybe she's more of "your type" than you thought."_

I stood beside my bed, staring over her and taking in every detail before she woke up. She'd pushed the blankets off and her shirt up, her hand resting across her stomach. Her other arm thrown over her head. I thought about what 13 year old Judd would've done if he had this sight right before his eyes. Fuck, he probably would've came his pants right there. Somehow I was managing to just admire her smooth skin while fighting the urge to reach out and touch her. 

She stirred though, opening her sleepy eyes and looking up at me, _"My mouth is so fucking dry.."_

Her usually soft voice was raspy, I handed her the glass of water and set the pill bottle on the nightstand beside her. 

_"Yeah, you got pretty fucked up last night."_

She sat up with her legs hanging over the side of the bed, holding her head just like I'd found her doing the night before.

_"Sorry about that, I -"_

I interrupted her, _"Don't. You don't need to apologize."_

She tossed her hair up and out of her face with the hair tie that was on her wrist, somehow she was even more beautiful now than she was last night. Like I was seeing the raw version of her. She gulped down the glass of water with a handful of pills before standing up and stretching. Her shirt rode up even further, leaving her almost bare from the middle of her stomach down. Her smooth, porcelain hips contrasting against her silky, black panties..

_"So.. there's a show I'm going to tonight. It's sold out, but I could probably pay off security if you wanted to come... with me, that is."_

She looked up at me suspiciously from her legs while tugging on her jeans, "_What show?"_

_"Uh, this band. Well, it's really just one guy, but he goes by Grandson. You'd probably fucking hate it, he's really political and-"_

She stopped mid tucking in her shirt, _"No, I know who he is. You don't need to sneak me in, I already have a ticket. I planned on going alone but yeah, I'd fucking love to go with you."_

_"Wait, are you serious? We listen to the same kind of music?"_

She was smiling wide and I was even more confused now that I was before. This girl that was the human equivalent of a fucking sunflower played with intestines for a living, loved to blow down _and _had decent taste in music.

_"I guess so. Now -" _She motioned for my desk, _"I need my keys, please."_

I gave her back her keys and walked her out, holding her car door open for her. We both knew that Nick and Leah were watching from behind the living room curtains. What was I supposed to do now? Was a kiss goodbye too much? Was it not enough? We'd dry humped like 16 year olds last night but now things felt.. different.

_"So.. how much of last night do you remember?"_

She looked up at me with a cocked eyebrow, _"All of it, Judd. I wasn't black out drunk."_

_"Cool, so, uh.." _My eyes shifted down and suddenly my hands were sweaty, it felt like there was a heavy lump stuck in my throat, _"I meant what I said.. when I said that I just liked seeing you."_

She nodded, _"Mhm. And I just like seeing you too." _I felt her fingers move to my waistband, causing me to inch closer, _"That's why I'm letting you pick me up in your creepy van at say.. 10?"_

I couldn't stop my smile or my hand from moving to her hair, and she didn't try to stop me. My lips met hers, she still tasted like the Jack Daniels from last night. Jack Daniels and honey. It didn't last long enough. She pulled away and lowered herself into her car.

I watched her drive away before turning back around and noticing Leah and Nick duck behind the curtains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day because I wanna get things moving along!   
I love hearing from you guys, so any comments are appreciated. If you haven't checked out Grandson you totally should.


	6. Deep Red

I stood outside of my van after texting her, letting her know I was there. She came down in a pair of fringed black shorts, so short that her ass was almost hanging out, and a tight black tank top. Her shirt was low cut and tucked in, smoothed out against her skin. She had a bright smile on her face, teeth and all like always.

I handed my cigarette to her as she approached me and she plucked it from my fingers, taking a long draw.

_”Your ass is definitely getting grabbed in the pit if that’s what you’re wearing.”_

She waved a hand in front of her while exhaling the smoke, _”I prefer crowdsurfing. But even if some douche does try something, I’ve thrown my fair share of punches at shows before.”_

We rode the half hour drive into the city with the radio turned all the way up. I was halfway doubting that she actually knew the band, but she definitely proved herself. Her attitude was infectious and I couldn’t help but to belt all the words in time with her. Her feet up on my dash, air drumming along with the beat. Yeah, this is how I liked her best.

The venue was packed and the two openers had already come and gone. We pushed our way to the middle just before the lights dimmed and the intermission music stopped playing. I took a protective spot behind her for the first few songs, the crowd had really packed in tight. She leaned her head back and I leaned forward over her shoulder, bringing my ear close to her lips so I could hear her.

_“Put your arm around me if you don’t wanna get separated!”_

My arm wrapped tightly around the front of her shoulders. But it didn’t last long. The song Die Young came on and she pulled my arm loose, turning around towards me. There was a light in her eyes that I’d never seen in a human being before. I couldn’t hear her over the music but she pointed upwards and I read her lips.

_”I’m goin’ up! I’ll find you later!”_

And just like that, she disappeared into the sea of people behind us. I found the pit, gave and took a dozen punches for the next round of songs and watched her float by atop the crowd a few times. Crowdsurfing is a rough ride, but she looked so at peace with her eyes closed. Singing along to the lyrics and letting the crowd carry her over the barricade.

The set was coming to a close, they were playing out their last few slow songs while I was searching through the crowd for her face. I felt a hand grip my arm and pull me forward, straight to the front of the venue. I knew it was her.

I wrapped my arm back around her chest and swayed with her to the music. My chin resting on the top of her head while we sang along to the words.

_Destroy me, destroy me, I don’t wanna come down._

I felt my hand move up her chest and to her neck, she turned back toward me and my eyes moved to her lips. That moment.. it all just felt right.

I leaned down into her and and almost hesitated, wondering if there was any coming back after this. But I didn’t give a shit. I was high on her fumes and didn’t ever want to sober up. I kissed her.. She was soft and sweet. Everything about her made the hair on my neck stand on end.

I pulled away from her lips and moved to her ear, _“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”_

She nodded and I grabbed her hand, intertwining my fingers with hers and pulling her through the crowd. She stopped outside the venue and sat up on a concrete barrier, pulling out two cigarettes for us. Her legs swayed over the edge as she handed me one.

_“Holy fuck, that was one of the best shows I’ve been to!”_

I agreed, but my favorite part about it was watching her have the time of her life.

_“God damn, I’m gonna be so sore. I lost count of how many rib blows I took.”_

The show let out and the concert-goers scattered. We reminisced on the show and let the ringing in our ears die down. It was getting cool out when we started walking back to my van, but the smile on her face never once faded.

_“Why are you so giddy? That wasn’t your first show.”_

She stopped at my car, leaning against it. _“That was just kinda cool. I see couples come to shows together all the time and they’re always attached at the hip, never having any real fun. I liked that you were cool with me doing my own thing and you doing yours for awhile”_

She didn’t catch what she said, but I did. And I fully intended on using her screw up as a chance to fuck with her. _“Couple?”_

Her cheeks blushed and she rolled her eyes, _“Slip of the tongue, you know what I mean.”_ She turned the corner of my van, _“Come on, it’s getting chilly!”_

******** FINALLY, _YOUR_ POV ********

I crawled up into the passenger seat of his car, embarrassed about my slip up and scared as fuck that he was gonna think I was trying to cuff him. But maybe I was wrong. He threw his car into gear and grabbed my hand on the middle console. Who the fuck was this person behind the tough guy mask that he put on?

Judd pulled up in front of my complex and put the car in park, never once letting go of my hand. He turned to me, _“This is your stop.”_

_“Sure looks like it.. doesn’t it.”_

I didn’t want this night to end. My chest was on fire and I knew that this buzz was gonna keep me from sleeping all night. But more than anything, I just wanted one more kiss. I wanted to taste the cigarette on his lips one more time. Maybe he sensed that I needed more or maybe he wanted the same thing. I hoped that it was the latter because when he turned to me and my eyes met his bright green ones.. my heart fucking stopped. His words came out in a whisper.

_“Come here..”_

I leaned over the console as fast as I could and his hand went to my hair, mine found the back of his neck. My lips couldn’t get enough of his and soon his other hand was grasping for my waist. It took everything in me not to crawl over my seat and into his lap.

He slowed down and spoke to me between kisses and gasps of breath, _“You know it’s *kiss* getting *kiss* late..”_

I moaned an, _“Mhmm.”_ against his lips.

_“Maybe *kiss* I shouldn’t be driving *kiss* in the dark.”_

I smiled and stopped kissing him but my forehead stayed leaned against his, _“Do you wanna come up, Judd?”_

_“Do you **want** me to come up?”_

I did. Holy shit, I did. _“That depends.. Are you gonna turn into a gaping asshole when I don’t fuck you?”_

We got up to my apartment and Judd kicked off his shoes, flopping down on my couch and made himself at home. I could already see the bruises forming that he'd earned in the pit. His arm was thrown over his eyes. I leaned over the back of the couch, just kind of admiring him. Happy that he was starting to become just as comfortable around me as I felt around him.

_"What are you doin', Judd?"_

He didn't bother moving his arm, _"Dude, my ribs fucking hurt so bad. The pit did me dirty."_

_"You're at your weakest. Now would be the perfect time for me to kill you and get some practice in skinning and stuffing humans."_

Finally, he peaked out from under his arm suspiciously, _"Are you trying to turn me on?"_

I cocked an eyebrow at him, _"Is it working?"_

_"Abso-fucking-lutely."_

I laughed and walked around the couch, _"Come on, I'll show you my room."_

He walked around my room just like I had his, looking at every little trinket and opening random drawers while I changed into an oversized t-shirt and boyshorts. I don't know why he was choosing to look away now, he'd pretty much seen me half naked just the night before.

He picked up one of the guitars that leaned against my wall. _"You know how to play?"_

I pulled the shirt over my head and stepped in front of him, _"Yeah, do you?"_

_"Not for shit." _He pushed the acoustic guitar into my hands, _"Play something for me."_

Oh god, my voice was so horse from screaming for the past 3 hours and hadn't so much as touched my guitars since the move. But he took a spot on my bed, legs crossed and waiting for me to prove myself. I sat in front of him and ran my fingers across the wood, cleared my throat and started strumming. Starting in the middle of a song that I hadn't sang in years and never in front of another person.

_"__Soft skin, hard stare_  
_It feels wrong but all's fair_  
_I try but I can't seem to look away and you don't care_  
_Instead you meet my steady gaze and we go from there_  
_Stay up all night_, _real love for the first time_  
_And I can't tell if this is all a dream or if I'm really here_  
_But as long as I can feel you I don't really care_  
_I don't really care_

_Can we pretend like it's just you and me? I wanna act like I can feel something_   
_And you don't have to give it back to me, 'cause I can't promise much of anything_   
_I see in shades of grey, I'm going blind again_   
_But when it comes to you my world is red_   
_I see in shades of grey, losing my mind again_   
_But when it comes to you my world is deep red"_

I stopped playing abruptly, praying that he would say something and ultimately regretting even choosing that song. I could've chosen one of songs from the band we'd just seen or a classic. Deep down I knew why I'd chosen that song. I wanted him to ask about it and I wanted to tell him so that hopefully it would push him away. 

_"What's that song about?"_

I shrugged, _"Some stupid guy."_

_"He doesn't sound stupid. Sounds like he's pretty important to you."_

It was working, he was getting annoyed. I could hear it in his voice. I smirked, but in a way that helped me hide the pain and shame that I felt. _"Yeah.. I guess he was at the time."_

Judd leaned back on his palms, _"What happened?"_

His voice sounded so stern. Like he was softly _demanding _that I tell him the answers. In that moment I felt so small, smaller than I had in so long. 

I hesitated, looking up from my instrument, _"I just.. I lost a lot of love for myself when I poured it all into him." _I shrugged my shoulders, _"I don't know, it's fucking stupid."_

_"No-" _He took the guitar from my hands and set it down beside the bed, _"It's not. I wanna know you, Cal."_

He leaned across his crossed legs. My subconscious plan _wasn't _working.

I sighed, _"Listen.. I like you, Judd. Whatever it going on here-" _I motioned between us, _"I'm into. I'm so fucking into it, dude. But believe me when I say that I will **never **water myself down for another human being again. Not for a guy, not for a girl, not for my friends or family.. and not for you."_

Finally, another smile erupted from his lips. He didn't respond immediately, instead he stood off the bed and got undressed, flipping off the overhead light before making himself comfortable again in my bed. He sat in front of me and held my face in his rough hands, only the nightstand lamp illuminating our faces. His bright green eyes stared so deep into mine.

_"I want the concentrated version of you. Nothing less. I want to know what pisses you off and turns you on. I wanna know your dreams and fears. I just wanna **know **you."_

I leaned into him, kissing him hard and passionately. I'd never wanted to be close to someone so bad in my entire fucking life as I did in that moment. Judd fell onto his back on my bed and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me down on top of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit had this chapter done a week early and it KILLED ME to not post it ahead of schedule.   
Let me know how you guys are liking it so far! I love hearing from you all. Comments are always appreciated, whether they’re constructive criticism or praise. Tune in next Sunday for the next chapter!


	7. Siren’s Song

I woke up to sunlight pouring in through the windows and the bed dipping down on one side. I barely opened my eyes in time to see her standing, shirt riding up her waist, giving me the perfect view of her ass. It was barely covered by her cheeky, red panties. I grabbed her wrist before she could get too far.

_"Where do you think you're going?"_

She glanced over her shoulder with a sleepy smile, _"To shower. We're still covered in the sweat of 300 other people from last night."_

I pulled her by the wrist back onto the bed, it didn't take much convincing on my part._ "Key word there is 'we'."_ She laid down beside me and I pulled the blanket over our heads, _"I don't get an invite?"_

It didn't take long for her lips to crash against mine. Her hands were in my hair and mine gripped her waist with a force that was 100% being controlled by my morning wood. I rolled onto my back, pulling her on top of me and running my hands over her fucking delicious ass. She moaned against my lips, it sounded like fucking angels singing..

But she pulled away. She pulled away and sat up, her loose shirt pooling around her waist. I felt how I imagined sailors did while they were leaning over their boat, listening to the siren’s song. More than willing to meet their untimely death if it meant that they could just get a tiny.. bit.. closer.

Her hands rested on my stomach and she shifted on my lap, I almost shot my load right fucking there. She'd slid herself right on top of my fucking cock, and not by accident. The way she looked at me, she new exactly what she was doing.

_"Mm, is this for me?"_

I nodded and ran my hands down her waist, over her thighs. _"Fucking... fuck yes, baby."_

My eyes rolled back and closed while she slowly rolled her hips over my lap, back and forth. I couldn't stop myself from moaning. If I weren't as sleepy I probably would've been grabbing her hips, pulling her down on me harder. But I was just enjoying her enjoying herself.

She stopped grinding and leaned down, her chest to mine. Trailing kisses from my collar up to my ear and whispering, _"This is your formal invite to shower with me, Judd."_

I nodded vigorously and she threw her legs over me and off the bed, sprinting towards the bathroom. She was fast, but my swatting hand was much faster. She squealed and laughed as my palm made a loud _"Smack!"_ against her ass. I threw the blankets off of me, Jesus the tent in my boxers was fucking huge. I was literally aching.

The shower turned on and I stepped in the room just as she was pulling her t-shirt over her head. God damn.. the curves on this girl. I knew she was watching me but it didn't stop my eyes from eating her up. She tried covering her tits with her arm, all it did was push them up on her chest further. An even better sight for me, personally.

She stood in just her scarlet colored panties before my hands were all over her once again, squeezing her hips and running over the small of her back while I dove into her neck. Biting, sucking, licking her salty skin. Her fingers dipped into the waistband of my boxers, running through the hair above my shaft. They lingered there for a moment, softly tugging on my trimmed bush. I never knew that even that would be a turn on for me. But I moaned into her ear and my body stiffened, praying that she would go even lower.

She didn't. Instead she pulled away and backed toward the shower, holding eye contact with me while she slid her panties down her thighs. She stepped into the tub and I dropped my boxers, following her lead. I watched her underneath the hot stream. She pushed her hair back and let the water flow over her.

I was so intensely focused on a single drop of water that was dripping off of her lips when she opened her eyes. I swear to god she looked like a fucking lynx, like she was going to eat me alive. And I was wanted her to. I was frozen in my tracks so she grabbed my hand, pulling me under the stream with her. My fingers dug into her ass and her hands gripped my hair. My cock was rock hard pressed against our stomachs, with the water falling between us was getting me closer and closer. But I didn't want to cum like this.

I slid one of my hands from her ass to between her thighs. Pausing to make sure she was into it. She parted her legs slightly and my fingers dove into her. One at first, then two. She pulled her lips away from mine and leaned her head against my chest. Finally, I had the upper hand. I curled my fingers up inside her and her fingers dug into my shoulders, she moaned, _"God.. fucking damnit.."_

I felt her legs shaking as I thumbed her clit. She trailed kisses back up my chest, over my jaw and to my lips. Whispering against them, _"Fuck me, Judd.."_

_"You're sure?"_

How in the fuck did I have **her** asking to fuck **me**?

She cupped my face with one hand and looked up at me, _"Please?"_

God damn it, her voice was so fucking sweet. I lifted her by the ass and set her up on the ledge, holding one of her legs up with my arm and letting the other dangle over the edge. She sucked my tongue softly while I slid my cock up and down her slit. Then I pushed inside her. Slowly, trying my hardest not to cum already.

I rested inside her for a second, gathering my thoughts and just taking in the feeling of her warmth around me. Finally pulling out and pushing back in. I couldn't stop the _"Oh my ffffucking god"_ from leaving my throat.

But her moans followed mine. I got into a rhythm of pulling out and crashing back into her, over and fucking over again. She was nibbling on my neck the entire time, her moans vibrating my skin. My hand went between our bodies to massage her clit and she loved it.

_"Just like that, baby.. God I'm so fucking close."_

I was holding back but I knew that it was coming. So I picked up the pace, fucking her as deep as I could and massaging her clit gently. Her back hit the shower wall over and over again.

I knew what would send her over the edge though. My hand hand went to her throat and I squeezed softly.. just hard enough for her to still be able to breathe while I growled into her ear.

_"Cum. God damn, I wanna feel you fucking cum."_

Her pussy tightened around my cock, she was milking me. I slammed into her harder while the orgasm rolled over her body.

_"Fuck yes, cum on my cock, Cali.."_ I trailed off, trying so hard to hold off but it wasn't working. My words came out labored, _"Shit, I'm gonna cum.."_

She nodded against me, _"Cum for me, baby."_

God damn it, her voice sent me over the edge. She didn't have to ask twice, I pulled her face to mine and kissed hard while her hand went between us. She squeezed and jacked me off while I painted her stomach with my load. I gripped her hair hair while the wave rolled over me..

I washed her hair and she washed my body. I swear, we weren't more than an inch apart for the remainder of that shower. There were a few moments where she'd just lean against my chest with her arms wrapped lazily around my waist. In those moments, I'd snake my arms around her shoulders and close my eyes. Taking in every bit of her for as long as I could.

******* YOUR POV *******

I sat in my underwear on the floor in front of my full length mirror, towel drying my unruly hair. Judd sat with his legs hanging off the side of my bed, wearing nothing but a pair of old sweatpants that I'd thrown at him so he didn't have to put back on his sweaty, smelly clothes from the night before. I tossed my hair back over my head and noticed him staring. But even more, I noticed the dark bruises forming on his ribs from the blows he'd taken just a few hours ago.

_"I've got something for those if you wanna try it out."_

He glanced down, _"What, you mean my fucking battle wounds? Hell no, you gotta ride those out like a man."_

I cocked an eyebrow at him and he reluctantly agreed, _"Fine, lay it on me."_

I hopped up from my spot on the floor and grabbed the arnica lotion from my dresser, _"Here, stand up!"_

He stood off the edge of the bed and I took his previous spot, resting on my knees in front of him. Now face to face with the crimson red marks on his skin.

_"Don't hate me, this is gonna be cold."_

I traced my lotion covered palms down either side of his rib cage, he winced with pain and inhaled sharp. I wasn't sure if it was from the cool gel or the soreness of his muscles.

But he persevered and I massaged the lotion into his ribs. Slow and soft to save him from as much pain as I could. I think after a few minutes he was getting into it, I felt his eyes watching me from above and he placed a hand on the back of my head. I looked up at him, he had a mischievous smirk on his face.

_"What?"_

He shook his head, _"Nothing, I just like you in this position. On your knees in front of me, wearing nothing but your panties.."_

God damn it, there was a gruff in his voice that made my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. I was a bitch for guys that took control, and he was controlling me without even having to use his hands.

_"Yeah?"_, I leaned in to plant tiny kisses on his deep red painted skin, trailing them down his stomach and over his hips until I got to the elastic band of his sweatpants.

Then I felt his grip tighten in my hair, he pulled my hair back and my eyes met his above me. His darted away, noticing how hard my chest was rising and falling. He chuckled at how easy it was to turn me on.

_"Not even gonna lie, I could cum **so** fast right now."_

His eyes came back up to mine, _"I don't want you to cum fast. I wanna take my time with you."_

Judd let go of my hair and backed up from the edge of the bed, _"Which is why I'm not gonna fuck you again. Well, not right now, anyways.. My parents are almost home and there's no way none of my brother's pussy friends didn't snitch about the party. So.. kinda gotta go take care of that."_

I unfolded my legs and stood up in front of him, _"That's fair. I guess I'll see you on Tuesday then?"_

He snaked an arm around my shoulders, mine instinctively wrapped around his waist.

_"Maybe.. or maybe you'll keep leaving your front door unlocked for any potential homicidal maniac to slip in."_

Judd pulled me in for one last slow, heart stopping kiss.

******* End of POVs *******

Judd sat beside Leah and Nick on the couch, only halfway listening to his Dad's shitty attempt at scolding them, _"We have half a mind to not give you these t-shirts!"_

Leah tried to play it off, but Judd didn't zone back in until he heard his mom saying his name along with hers, _"Judd, Leah, you're grounded for three weeks."_

He partially laughed, _"Three WEEKS? I don't think so."_

Diane cocked an eyebrow, _"You're right, make it four."_

Leah could see that Judd was seething, she sighed and fell on her sword, _"Wait - Don't punish Judd.. It was my party."_

He looked at her, confused as to why she was taking all the blame. She turned back to look at their parents, _"He wasn't even here, he was upstairs with his girlfriend the whole time."_

That. Fucking. Bitch. He growled through gritted teeth, _"LEAH."_

But Nick chimed in before he could get a proper insult in on her,_ "She's right! Her name is Cal and she smells like raw honey and roses!"_

Ignoring the fact that Nick was swooning over his NOT girlfriend, Judd began bracing himself for Elliot and Diane's reactions. See, most people would be terrified of their parents finding out they had their "girlfriend" stay the night while they were away. Nope, not him. Judd just wanted to avoid the storm of what he knew what coming next.

Elliot's hands raised to his heart and Diane's gripped her husband's shoulder. They both gasped loudly and said, in unison, _"GIRLFRIEND??"_

He turned to see his siblings faces painted with cocky smiles and spat at them, _"Have fun sleeping with fucking raccoons for the rest of your lives, you stupid fucking -"_

But Elliot interrupted his son's threats,_ "Judd - you're off the hook... on one condition."_

He crossed his arms, _"Whatever it is, absolutely the fuck not."_

Elliot continued, _"We just want to meet the lovely lady that our eldest son is seeing!"_

_"I would rather just murder her and save her the embarrassment of having to meet all of you in one depressing setting."_

Diane smiled at her son and crossed her arms as well,_ "Fine, have it your way. Four weeks."_

Judd grit his teeth, holding eye contact with his mom and praying that she would break before he did. But he finally let out a huge sigh, _"God damn it, FINE."_

His parents squealed at the thought of their oldest son, their first baby, bringing home a girl. Diane dismissed her children and ordered Judd to find out what day would be best for you to come have dinner. He stomped up to his room, stopping in front of the mirror on his wall and actually looking at the bruises on his skin. It wasn't a new sight for him, but something about them looked different this time..

Maury appeared behind him in the mirror, _"Jesus, man, she really did a number on you."_

He was right, the bruises on Judd's ribcage came from fists and elbows at the show. But the small hickeys left on his chest, those were alllll you.

_"Yeah she did. Her bark might not be loud, but her bite.."_

Judd ran his fingers over the the tiny marks and his heart thumped, thinking of the last two days that he'd spent with you. Trying to make sense of how it'd all made him feel. He wasn't used to this, being around someone that made him feel anything but bored or annoyed.

He sat through dinner with his family, staring at his plate and avoiding every question that they asked about you. Always answering with a sarcastic remark or simply stating that you weren't his girlfriend. Finally, Diane told Elliot to lay off and Judd left his plate at the table, retreating back to his bedroom and pulling out one of his many phones.

Your face popped into view and all the annoyance from his parents floated away. He watched you adjust your phone on the stainless steel table and continue working on what looked to be a dog.

_"How are you FaceTiming on a flip phone?"_

You'd caught onto his habit of only using burners considering the few times he'd texted or called it'd been from a different number.

_"Better yet, why are you FaceTiming me and not sneaking in to turn my bedroom into a crime scene?"_

Judd's tongue ran across the back of his teeth as he bit the inside of his cheek, fighting the urge to storm out of the house and drive straight there._ "About that.. my parents are pretty pissed about the party."_

_"I figured. How long are you on lockdown for?"_

He ran his fingers through his hair, suddenly feeling so nervous. It wasn't that he didn't want you to meet his family, it was just that... well, why would you?

Judd took in a deep breath and let it out hard, _"Until you come have dinner with them."_

Your eyebrows raised as you made eye contact with him through the screen, his statement throwing you off. Judd rushed to explain himself.

_"Blame Leah. The stupid bitch brought you up to get one over on me.. she'll regret it when she wakes up to six raccoons gnawing on her toes."_

You dropped your concerned look and smiled at him before glancing back down to the dog in front of you. You were wrist deep in his chest cavity and made a few more snips, pulling out its heart and holding it up beside your face.

_"Aww, she was right. You really are America's sweetheart."_

You tossed the heart into the trash can beside you and gazed back at him, he was waiting for an answer._ "How's Friday night?"_

_"You're serious? You'll suffer through dinner with my family?"_

Judd heard Maury's raspy voice whispering in his ear, _"Cum inside her..."_

You nodded, _"Sure, why not? Your sister seems cool, your brother's a cutie, and if it means getting you off the hook.."_

He rolled his eyes at the mention of his brother, _"Ugh, Nick's probably jerking off to the thought of you now, if the little prick even can. He said you smell like honey and roses."_

_"That makes two Birch men jerking off to me then._"

Judd couldn't deny it.. you drove him fucking crazy. He didn't understand how or why, but he was tired of questioning it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra long chapter for the win 🙌🏻  
Hope you guys are enjoying this fic. Let me know what you’re thinking in the comments. Tune in next week for the next chapter!


	8. Sweet as Honey

The two of you saw each other only during class that week. You'd chain smoked in the parking lot together afterwards until he had just enough time to beat his parents home from work.

Friday came fast, faster than he did remembering the way you looked up at him on your knees. And soon he was throwing open his front door to find you leaned against the frame wearing a pair of tight, light wash mom jeans and a subtly cropped, tie dye, lavender t-shirt. Your top complimenting your wavy locks.

You greeted him with a wide smile and he pulled you in by the waist, kissing you hard. You laughed against his lips and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, _"Miss me?"_

His kisses were interrupted by Elliot yelling from the kitchen, _"Judd, is that Cal??"_

Judd sighed and loosened his grip, _"I'm gonna go ahead and apologize for this entire night.. Come on."_

You followed him into the kitchen, finding a room full of people that really didn't look like they were related to Judd at all. All of them were smiling, bubbly even, you wondered how Judd had ended up the complete opposite.

A beautiful, blonde woman greeted you, _"It is SO nice to meet you, Cali. Judd has told us.. really nothing about you, actually. I'm Diane."_ She pulled you in for a tight hug.

Following her was a rather eccentric man with a full head of hair, wearing an apron that read something about being a feminist. _"And I'm Elliot."_ He stepped away from the stove and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, rocking you back and forth in probably the most welcoming hug you'd ever had.

_"Well I sure wish our son would've warned us about how BEAUTIFUL you are!"_

You were honestly taken aback by everyone. So taken aback that you almost forgot about the bag you were holding.

_"It's great to meet you guys. Oh, I brought you something - "_ You sat the bag on the kitchen island, pulling out the vase and it's contents, _"They're golden roses. I preserved them, they should last until the spring as long as they're kept out of direct sunlight."_

Judd rolled his eyes, _"Fuck, here we go."_

Right on cue his dad gripped his knuckles near his chin, seemingly holding back tears, _"Cali, I cannot verbally express to you how special this is to us.. but I **can** give you another hug. Come here-"_

Elliot reached for you again but Judd had had enough, he intercepted him, _"Chill the fuck out, Dad. When's dinner gonna be done?"_

You sat through the meal and expertly navigated your way through his parents questioning, your hand resting on his thigh for the majority of it. Judd learned a lot about you during that hour, thanks to their relentlessness. He learned that your parents were divorced and that you had a sister close to Leah's age. Also that you were very close with your dad, but noticed you were hesitant to talk about your mom.

Elliot inquired, _"So Cal, what's your major in college? No, no, wait! Let me guess.."_ He concentrated for a moment, _"Biology??"_

You were impressed, _"Yeah! I'll get my bachelors here in Bridgeton and then hopefully be going to SUNY for vet school."_

Leah chimed in, _"So.. you work with dead animals now, but you're going to school to work with live ones?"_

You nodded at her, _"Yep. Dr. Calico Jack, DVM and Taxidermist. Either way, you get your pet back."_

Judd had been silent the entire meal but finally, you heard a soft chuckle under his breath over your comment. You looked over at him, squeezing his leg underneath the table.

He shot a glare in your direction and mouthed, _"Don't."_

You couldn't hide your sly smile though, sliding your hand slowly up his thigh. His family too distracted by their own conversation to notice your hand underneath the table.

Your visual attention went back to Elliot as he spoke to you, _"So, a doctor! Did Judd tell you that he's a biology major, too?"_

But your hand continued moving upward, grazing his crotch just gently enough to send lightning bolts through him. _"He didn't!" _Turning back to face him, _"I didn't take you for a science buff, **babe**."_

Emphasizing _babe_ by giving his jeans a soft squeeze. He hadn't taken his eyes off of you for a second. You noticed his tongue rolling across his pearly white teeth as he started warming up to your habit of teasing him.

He turned toward his parents at the head of the table, _"I think Cal and I are full. Mom, are you happy now? Am I off the hook?"_

Diane nodded her head,_ "You guys are leaving? But we were just getting to know her-"_

Judd loudly scooted his chair away from the table, gripping your hand and pulling you with him, _"Yeah there's uh.. there's a movie we wanna catch!"_

You barely had time to grab your bag off the couch, yelling behind you as he pulled you with him out the door, _"Bye Nick! Bye Leah! It was nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Birch!"_

******* JUDD'S POV *******

I flung the passenger side door of my car open and grabbed her by the ass, roughly lifting her up into the seat. My forehead met hers in what was almost a head butt and my voice came out in a low growl, _"What's your fucking deal? What are trying to god damn do to me?"_

She had a smug, shit eating grin on her face that never went away. Not even when she inched her lips closer to mine and said in that disgustingly sweet voice of hers, _"I just wanna get under your skin, Judd."_

And god damn it, was it working. I backed away from her, sizing her up with a look I'm sure could kill. She pulled her legs inside the car and I slammed the door shut, circling the front of the car and starting it up. She went to grab her seatbelt when I stopped her.

_"You don't need that."_

She looked up at me and I held eye contact with her while my hands moved down to my jeans, unbuckling them and pulling out the throbbing boner she'd given me during dinner. She knew what was happening, I didn't need to explain it to her.

It was a ten minute drive to her apartment and she spent it leaned over the middle console, my hand on the back of her head. Guiding her mouth up and down on my cock. Her hand squeezed the base and she lapped at it like a god damn pro.

I flew into the parking lot and threw my car in park, simultaneously pulling her head off of my lap by her hair, _"Remember when I said I wanted to take my time with you?"_

She nodded, spit hanging off of her lips.

_"Good. Get the fuck inside."_

We raced each other up the stairs in a storm of her playful laughter and my loud smacks on her ass. I lifted her legs around my waist at her door, pushing her hard against it and crashing my lips onto hers. Grinding my hips between her thighs as she fumbled with the keys to get the door unlocked. She dropped them on the floor when we finally got inside and I kicked the door closed behind me, walking her slowly into her bedroom. We lost our shirts and shoes somewhere along the way.

I dropped her onto the bed and her hands fell above her head, I couldn't help but to just look at her. Her porcelain skin glowed in the moonlight that shined through the window. It was the only light that illuminated the room. I crawled onto the bed underneath her, kissing the skin below her bellybutton and pulling her jeans down over her hips. She parted her legs for me and I kissed my way up her thighs, looking up and meeting her eyes before pushing her panties to the side.

I dove into her, slowly licking my way up her slit. Her head rolled back, one of her hands tangling itself into my hair. Jesus Christ, she tasted just as sweet as her moans sounded.. I rolled my tongue over her clit and slowly sucked on the most sensitive parts of her. Meanwhile, she was filling the room with her heavy gasps for breath.

I felt her grip on my hair tighten, _"God.. damn it, I'm gonna cum, Judd.."_

I backed off abruptly and she looked down at me, confused.

_"Not until I say so, baby."_

I stepped off the edge of the bed, dropping my jeans and boxers. Stroking my cock while looked at her beautiful body.

_"Take off your panties.. and turn around."_

She was so, so good when she was horny. Not her usual mouthy, sarcastic self. It was cute, that she would've done whatever I asked her to if it meant she was getting fucked.

She pulled off her underwear and turned over, raising her plump ass up in the air for me. God damn, this was a site I could live with seeing every single day of my pathetic life. Her, bent over, legs spread, looking over her shoulder and waiting for me. No, **begging** for me.

I got onto my knees and rubbed my head up and down her, she was sopping wet. I smacked my cock against her clit and she whined.

I lined myself up with her hole, _"You want it?.. Take it."_

God.. she didn't wait. I felt her push herself back onto my cock, sliding onto me with ease. I gripped her ass and prayed that she didn't see my eyes rolling back in my head. That first thrust was slow, she rested at the base of my cock for a moment, adjusting to my length, before sliding off of me and pushing back again. She bounced her ass back and forth on my lap, taking me in to the hilt over and over.

My palm came down hard on her ass and she squealed, speaking in a mixture of laughter and gritted teeth, _"Fucking shit, I just wanna cum, Judd. Please, tell me I can.."_

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, grabbing her by the waist with my other hand and pulling her back against my chest. Growling low into her ear,_ "Don't. You. Fucking. Dare."_

I ground into her from behind and thrusted in and out of her pussy hard, moaning right into her ear. I felt her legs starting to quiver under me and knew I wouldn't last much longer.

My words came out demanding, _"Cum. Now. Cum for me, baby."_

Her moans were loud and breathy and she contracted around me. I felt her milking my cock. Trying my damn hardest to hold off until the waves of her orgasm subsides.. but I couldn't. I should've pulled out, but it felt too fucking amazing. I didn't want to be anywhere but surrounded by her warmth.

So I spilled inside her. Cumming while I held myself as deep inside her as I could, nails digging into her waist and my face buried against the crook of her neck. She ground back against me until I came back to my senses.

I was panting when I finally spoke to her, _"Holy fuck.. I am so sorry!"_

She pulled away from my chest and rested against the mattress, looking up at me. God, she looked so spent. Her body was shimmering with a thin layer of sweat and strands of hair stuck to her face.

Her voice was back to being sweet as honey, _"For what?"_

_"I came inside you, like.. a lot."_

She nodded, _"Mhm, it was hot. And I'm covered."_

The tiny bit of guilt I was feeling lifted off my shoulders and I fell down onto the bed beside her, pulling her tired body into my arms. She pulled the blankets over us and I pushed her messy hair out of her face, kissing her head and holding her until we both fell into a deep, comfortable sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday, guys! The next few chapters we’re gonna be doing a time jump to catch up with the holidays!  
I couldn’t find a way to smoothly state this, but I imagine Judd as a Bio major with a criminal sciences minor. This way he can better understand how to manipulate DNA at a crime scene.   
Comments are always appreciated, I love hearing what you guys think!


	9. His - Halloween Special

Slowly, you and Judd fell into a comfortable routine. Completely by accident, but one that neither of you objected to. He was spending half of his time at your apartment, only going home when you hinted that you needed to get work done.

Weeks passed and your favorite time of the year was creeping up. Halloween time. The New York air was getting cooler and your dark little heart was filled with creepy, holiday joy.

The night of October 31st, you approached the Birch home door, leaning your shoulder against the frame and ringing the doorbell like usual. You counted down -

_Five. Four. Three. Two._

Until you heard the three of them racing down the stairs to answer the door, it'd become the usual. You heard Judd's deep voice on the other side of the door.

_"Back the fuck off, shit stains."_

The door flung open and he wrapped you up in his arms. Your arms went around his shoulders and your lips smiled as they met his.

_"God damn, you look so beautiful."_

You were dressed from head to toe in all black. Black boots, black leggings and a black, strappy bralette that formed a pentagram across your chest. In your hands were two Purge style masks and a (fake) machete.

You pulled away from Judd, _"And you still aren't dressed."_

Judd rolled his eyes and trotted back up the stairs. You turned your attention to Leah and Nick, whom you'd become pretty close with over the past two months. Sometimes even ditching Judd for the day to get some quality girl time in with Leah, she reminded you _so_ much of your own little sister. Nick and his friends had gotten into the habit of coming to you when they needed advice about the changes they were going through, you were especially fond of Jessi and Jay.

Judd finally came back down stairs, sporting the same color scheme as you. Black converse, black jeans and a black hoodie, holding in his hand an (also fake) black rifle. You handed him his mask just as his parents came through the kitchen doorway.

Elliot bolstered, "_Alright, kids! Picture time, everyone act like they love each other!"_

Nick held his white button down open, showing the bright Superman symbol beneath and staring ahead through the thick framed glasses. He was going as Clark Kent. Leah twirled her blonde hair in her finger, dressed in a yellow plaid two-piece skirt set. She was _obviously_ Cher Horowitz from Clueless. You and Judd pulled the masks down over your faces, leaning together so you were kissing through them. You held the machete against your shoulder and he held the semi-automatic across his waist.

Elliot snapped the photo and Nick and Leah raced out the door toward Judd's van. Diane pulled you in for a hug and kiss on the cheek, whispering in your ear.

"_Enjoy yourselves, sweetie. But if you don't mind.. keep an eye on them, please."_

You nodded at her and made that promise, leading Judd out the door.

But that promise was broken the second that you pulled up to the Bilzerian home. You could hear the loud music from down the block and the two younger Birch kids quickly jumped out of the car, Nick racing through the door and Leah joining a group of her Drama friends in the front yard. You reached for the handle but stopped when you felt Judd's hand on your thigh. You turned to see him staring at you intently.

_"You stick with me tonight, understand?"_

You furrowed your brow, not understanding what he meant. Judd knew that you didn't like to be told what to do either, but he held his ground.

"_I'm fucking serious, Cal. The Bilzerian guys are creeps, I don't want you caught alone with them."_

And though you didn't like to be bossed around (at least not in a non-sexual setting), you respected Judd. You knew that he respected you and that he was ultimately just looking out for your wellbeing. So you leaned into him and stroked his cheek, kissing his lips softly.

_"I only wanna be caught alone with you, babe."_

Inside, the music was almost deafening. You picked up a cup of some sort of alcohol mixture and followed Judd down to the basement, meeting eyes with your favorite 13 year old himself.

_"Party woooolffff!"_

Jay was wearing a red flannel with fake hair bustling out of the chest and sleeves, dressed as a true party wolf. He met your enthusiasm with a howl, "_Mama woooolfff!"_

Judd rolled his eyes while you passed around hugs to them all. Jay the party wolf, Jessi the congresswoman, and Andrew the sad clown.

But your time with the kids was short lived while you made sure to stay close to Judd. You were meeting his friends for the first time, and they were just as interesting as him. After a few drinks though, you really had them going. Soon, you were being held upside down beside a girl named Sara in a keg stand competition. Her boyfriend held up her legs while Judd held yours. You heard him cheering you on through the loud crowd chanting _"Chug! Chug! Chug!"_

Sara broke, she let the nozzle fall from her lips and spill onto the floor. You felt Judd lift you up, hoisting you over his shoulder for a split second before lowering you back to your feet and kissing you hard in front of everyone.

You and Judd hadn't exactly been public with your "relationship" yet. You weren't hiding anything, but he hadn't met your friends or family and nothing was official.

The two of you pulled away from each other and your head was spinning. Not because you were drunk (though you were), but because you couldn't get enough of him. Your mind had been hazy and full of pink clouds for the past month that you'd spent with Judd, and now was no different. But it cleared up fast when you turned back toward the crowd and came face to face with a familiar, blue haired girl.

Judd's arm was still draped around your shoulder when the two of you simultaneously groaned,_ "Ffffuckkk.."_

You turned toward Judd, confused, _"Wait-"_

He looked at you just the same, "_How do you.."_

But the girl interrupted, arms crossed and looking furious, "_Try not to look too excited, guys.. So this is why you both ghosted me last month?"_

It wasn't funny. Truly, it wasn't. But in your drunken state of mind, you were trying your hardest to hold back laughter, and it showed.

"_You think it's fucking funny, Cal? I **begged** you to even have breakfast with me, but you're making out with him at fucking house party in front of everyone?"_

Finally, gears starting turning in Judd's head and he asked you,_ "Hold up, **this** is Goldie?"_

_"Who the fuck is Goldie?"_

The two of you were more or less ignoring the girl, having your own conversation between her pleas for answers, "_Yeah! I told you I have a habit of keeping blue hair in my bed. Wait, did you -"_

_"Yeah!"_

The girl was getting angrier, _"Do you **both** think my name is Goldie?"_

It dawned on Judd what she was saying, and he realized that he didn't remember her name either,_ "We don't think that's your name, neither of us gave a fuck enough to bother remembering it."_

He was getting annoyed at her desperation, just like he had when they were hooking up. She looked upset and flabbergasted, turning her attention towards you in an attempt to set you off. She had a cocky smile on her face that Judd wanted to smack right off the second he saw she was coming for you.

_"You know, I used to come to your place right after fucking him. Does it disgust you knowing that you'd eat me out right after he pulled his dick out of me?"_

Judd was seething, he was about to step in and have words with the girl, but you handled it. Your hand moving toward her waist and hooking your finger in the belt loop of her jeans, gently trying to pull her toward you.

_"I'd do it again tonight if you're down."_

Judd's grip tightened around your shoulder and he looked down at you, noticing the look you were giving her. It was the same one that you'd given him during your first shower together, the one where he knew he was long gone.

But the girl yanked her hip away from your hand, _"God, you're both fucking pigs."_

She stormed off with a huff and Judd yelled after her, teasing,_ "Wait! We never caught your name!"_

******* YOUR POV *******

I turned my face into Judd's chest in an attempt to hide my giggles, he pulled me down with him onto the dusty old couch that sat in the basement. Erupting in a fit of laughter with me at the girl's expense.

I sat across his lap, oblivious to the drunk party goers around us. My arms rested over his shoulders while his took their usual spot around my waist. Judd's lips found my neck, trailing kisses up to that sweet spot just below my ear.

A chill ran up my spine as he whispered, _"Did I hear that wrong, or were you trying to impose a threesome on me?"_

My fingernails grazed his buzzed scalp, _"Are you objecting to seeing my face buried in another girl's pussy?"_

Now that, that got to him. I heard his nervous half laugh in my ear as he bit down on my lobe and felt the growth underneath his jeans. His hands digging into my skin and holding me tighter against him,_ "God, you can never just behave, can you? Keep acting up, Cal -"_

I cut him off, pulling my ear away from his lips and turning to face him,_ "And you'll what?"_

He couldn't have answered if he tried, this was one of my favorite versions of him. Tongue tied and nervous because he'd never encountered someone as blunt as himself before.

My lips moved to his ear this time, whispering,_ "Are you threatening to punish me, Daddy?"_

Thankfully, the music in the house was loud enough that only the two of us could hear the conversation. Judd growled and sneakily took a handful of my hair close to the scalp, _"You're about to get fucked in the back seat of my van outside if you don't shut. the. fuck. up. Cal."_

If the people around us could hear the words that were being shared, I'm sure they would've thought we were in an insanely toxic relationship. But this was just playfulness for us, me relentlessly teasing him and him getting sexually frustrated to no end.

I hopped off of his lap, pretending to be offended, _"I don't know what type of girl you take me for, Judd Birch, but it's certainly not the kind that would let you defile me in the back of your creepy van!"_

He tilted his head and gave me a look that meant he was calling my bluff, I just leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the lips,_ "I'm getting one last drink, be right back."_

The house was huge, or maybe it was just my double vision playing tricks on me. There were two different stereos playing in the basement and top of the house. The basement had been playing mostly aggressive, angry rap. Up here, it sounded more like a moody SoundCloud mixtape was playing.

I grabbed a cup of whatever was being served at the drink table without bothering to ask what it was. I didn't care, it was sweet, strong and getting the job done. That's all I needed. And just as I was about to push back open the door to the basement, my metaphorical little Sims bladder meter started going off.

Great. I was drunk in a huge house that I'd never been in before and seconds away from pissing myself. I squeezed my thighs together and made my way up the stairs as calmly as I could, pushing open every door in search for the bathroom.

Finally, I found it! You know that moment when you're taking the longest piss of your life and you come to the realization that you're _literally_ piss drunk? Yeah, that was me. I was wasted. But finally I stood up and worked on pulling my tight leggings back up my legs.

I'd just gotten them over my thighs, and in my inebriated state was having a terribly hard time pulling them up over my ass. As if timed perfectly, the door to the bathroom flung open hard, slamming against the wall behind it. Sober Cali would've been terrified, drunk Cali just turned her head and stood facing the guy in the door frame.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw me there, catching the longest glimpse possible at my bare ass before finally saying something,_ "Oh, shit. Uh.."_

But he didn't back out of the doorway or even advert his eyes. I finally got my leggings over my cheeks, giggling inside at how flustered he looked.

_"Oh look, it's Richard Ramirez."_ He had to have heard how unimpressed I was,_ "Wait-"_

I inched closer to him, my eyes going in and out of focus until the four silhouettes merged into two, then the two into one. He was wearing a pair of slacks and a button up shirt, covered by a transparent coat that was splattered in fake blood.

_"Are you Patrick Bateman?"_

He dropped the stunned look and put on a cocky smirk, "For one night and one night only, in the morning you can call me Val."

I laughed and tried to push past him, _"In the morning I'm not gonna remember that you even exist, pal. 'Scuse me -"_

But he didn't budge. My slowed reaction time caused me to run right into his chest like an absolute dumbass, and he didn't even flinch.

I said it louder,_ "Excuse. Me."_

My words didn't phase him, they went in one ear and right out the other. I could see that he was sizing me up, _"What's your rush?"_

I'm not gonna lie, I felt a tiny hint of fear at the realization that I was no match for him. I was drunk in a house that I wasn't familiar with, on a completely separate floor from everyone else. Even if I screamed, who would hear me over the deafening music downstairs?

But just as the words escaped his lips, he was grabbed by his collar and pulled back through the door frame. Hitting the opposite side of the hallway with a loud, painful _"thud!" _

_"She said fucking move, dipshit."_

Judd stood between the two of us. He grabbed my arm, squeezing it hard and pulled me out of the tiny restroom looking fucking pissed.

He turned to look at Val, who still stood stunned against the wall, one last time, _"And I already told you once, she's fucking **mine**."_

Judd pulled me down the stairwell with his hand still locked around my bicep, out the front door and to his car. I sat in the passenger seat unsure of what to say to him. Judd was apathetic and angry in general, but I'd never experienced him pissed at _me_ before.

He pulled himself up into the drivers' seat and slammed the door closed,_ "I fucking told you to stick with me, Cal."_

_"I just had to take a piss, dude. It's not that big of a deal -"_

He cut me off, raising his voice and turning my direction. His emerald green eyes now dark and seething,_ "It **is** a big deal, babe! I know you THINK you're six feet tall and 200 pounds of muscle, but you're fucking not. You're 5'4 and fucking wasted in a stranger's house that I already god damn warned you about!"_

Soon this was gonna turn into a screaming match for the ages, I moved my face closer to his and held my ground, _"Stop. Fucking. Yelling. At. Me."_

I fully expected him to kick me out of his car, but he didn't. Instead he backed off, simmering down in his seat and adverting his gaze. His fingers went to the bridge of his nose, massaging it, _"You're right.. I shouldn't be yelling."_

I didn't respond and after a moment he continued, _"I just worry about you, Cal. The Bilzerians and I usually have a mutual respect for each other, being agents of chaos and all - but I fucking knew that when they saw you.."_

Judd trailed off with a sigh, I didn't need him to keep going. I just held out my palm and he rested his hand in mine. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes while he calmed down.

Meanwhile, I was sobering up fast and my mind hung on the words that he'd growled at Val back inside the house.

_"What did you mean back there? When you told him that I'm yours."_

He looked up at me from his lap, his eyes now clear and bright again but his voice still low and gruff,_ "You know what I meant, Cal.."_

Oh I knew, but I wanted him to say it. My face instinctually inching closer to his, my eyes watching his lips, _"Spell it out for me, baby."_

Unsure if it was his thumping heart I heard or mine, he tilted his face to fit mine and growled the words out in a whisper, _"You're. Mine."_

It wasn't a question, he wasn't asking me to be his girlfriend. He didn't even fucking need to. I was his, all his. Whenever, wherever, however. I shook my head "yes" vigorously and his hand went to the back of my head, pulling my face to his hard. Biting my lip and playing with my tongue in the front seat of his car.

He pulled away just enough to catch his breath and get a few words out,_ "Get in the back."_

_"What?"_

He pulled away further so I could see the mischievous smile on his face, _"I told you to behave yourself or else you were getting fucked in the back of my car. Now - Get. In. The back."_

I'd never climbed over a middle console so fast in my entire life. It was then that I realized I was hopelessly, disgustingly in love with Judd Birch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Update Day!  
I hope you all scrolled to the end to see my surprise. I am so in love with this commission that it hurts. If you're needing any work done, definitely contact Green-Ugly.tumblr.com . She's insanely talented.  
Anyways, the next few chapters are going to be holiday specials. Also, there's gonna be hella sex scene probably for the remainder of this story because I'm a bitch for porn with a plot.  
Warning, there's likely gonna be some heavy drug use and lesbian/threesome shit. I apologize in advance if you're not into it. But let's face it, Judd deff would be and ya girl Cal is too.
> 
> Comments, suggestion, etc are always appreciated! Please let me know what you think!


	10. Galaxies - Thanksgiving Special

November 26th. Two and a half months in and it would never be admitted out loud, but I was head over heels. Fuck, I thought I was empty before.. now? On the days she needed to spend alone, I was fucking miserable. Hollow, even.

It was 1 a.m. that Tuesday night. We'd both finished our last classes for the week before being off for a five day weekend, our college's sorry excuse for a "fall break". She was sitting up on my lap, lighting a bowl and taking a long, deep drag. I was trying to catch my breath and fawning over her shimmering, sweaty body that sat atop mine. Running my hands over her bare stomach and squeezing her hips before she offered me the bowl and lighter.

She spoke in a strained voice, trying to hold the smoke in for as long as possible, _"You remember about tomorrow, right?"_

I sat up against the headboard with her still on my lap, my now soft dick slipping out of her. Cum spilling out from between her legs and pooling onto the bed below us. She let out a disgusted _"Uck"_ along with her smoke while it didn't phase me at all, I just lit the bowl and took my hit.

She whined, _"Damnit, Judd, I just washed these sheets.."_

_"Yeah, yeah, I remember -" _I'm sure she could hear the annoyance in my voice, _"Your gay ass family is coming in so I have to go home."_

She rolled her eyes at my complaining and lifted herself off the bed, catching the remainder of my cum that was seeping out of her with an impromptu jizz rag that was once a t-shirt.

She tossed the cloth to me, _"I told you, you don't have to go home, babe. But I really don't think you're gonna be too entertained listening to my dad complain about retirement and my sister attached to my hip."_

I half ass cleaned off my dick and set the bowl to the side, pulling her by the hand back onto the bed and rolling on top of her. Planting loving kisses across her chest and little tongue laps over her perfectly pink nipples.

_"Just tell them something came up. I'll blow my family off and we can spend National Genocide Day with a rotisserie chicken and a Saw movie marathon on the couch. Come on, baby.."_

I felt the goosebumps raise on her skin, knowing that she melted when I used pet names on her. But she wasn't falling for it this time.

_"As enticing as that sounds, it'll have to wait until Friday. I miss them.."_

I noticed the tinge of pain in her voice and gave up the antics, resting my chin against her hip and looking up at her, _"I know you do. Y'know, the other offer still stands, too. My parents are fucking _**_begging _**_for the three of you to spend Thanksgiving with us."_

She finally cracked a smile and ran her fingers through my damp hair, _"Tell them that I love them as if they'd fucked me into existence themselves, and that I'll keep that in mind."_

I winced in disgust at my parents banging, _"Ugh, I might just have to break up with you over that, Cal."_

She looked down at me with a cocky smile, _"Yeah right, you're not goin' fucking anywhere."_

My halted kisses resumed across her stomach and my voice lowered, _"Nowhere besides down on you.."_

She pretended to resist but her voice turned soft and sweet, like it always did when she wanted more, _"Nuhuh, I can't cum again, Daddy.."_

Despite her words, she slowly spread her legs and I kissed my way down through her trimmed pubes, _"Sure you can, sweetheart.."_

~

~

_"WHERE IS CALI? I WAS TOLD SHE'D BE HERE. NOW I'M HERE, AND SHE'S NOT. THIS IS FALSE! ADVERTISEMENT!"_

Judd was genuinely considering blowing his fucking brains out if this 13 year old crack baby didn't shut the fuck up. It was Thanksgiving afternoon and Nick had invited Jay over for dinner, since Jay's family was less than traditional when it came to meals or spending time together in general.

Nick tried to reason with him, _"I told you that she _**_might _**_be here, Jay!" _He grabbed Jay by the collar and brought him in close, whispering, _"And shut the fuck up about your obsession with my brother's girlfriend. He has an army of raccoons for Christ's sake."_

Judd rubbed my temples, suppressing the homicidal thoughts running through his mind. Diane walked through the kitchen archway, _"I wish she could've made it, sweetie. It sure would be nice to meet what could be our future family members."_

_"Mom, shut the fu-"_

Leah chimed in as she came down the stairs, _"Her sister is my age, it'd be cool to have a girl like me around."_

_"What are the chances of another person as fucking lame as _ ** _you _ ** _existing, Leah?"_

She stood next to their mom in the door frame, holding the exact same pose as her. Arms crossed and smiling like Judd's insults didn't even effect them anymore.

Diane spoke in her usual, loving tone, _"We have definitely missed your charisma around here, sweetie."_

Leah, Nick, Jay and Judd sat on the couch for hours. They were _that _family, the ones who starved themselves all day before pigging out on carbs for dinner.

Judd yelled from the living room,_ "Dad! Is dinner almost done yet?!"_

_"Yes, Juddy! We're just waiting for the green bean casserole and macaroni."_

Right on cue, the door bell rang and Elliot continued, _"That should be them. One of you, get the door please."_

He ignored him, figuring it was one of his doctor friends. Jay stood up and raced to the door behind them, another second and Judd heard his ear rupturing voice yet again.

_"MAMA WOOOLLFFFF!"_

What. The. Fuck...

His head whipped around and saw Jay's arms squeezing you around waist. The words repeated over and over again in his head, _"It's her. It's her. Is it really her?"_

You held a covered pan of green bean casserole under your arm while leaning down to squeeze Jay right back. Judd hadn't seen you like this before. You were usually sporting something lazy, like leggings and a t-shirt. Or when the two of you would go out it would be some combination of tight jeans and a low cut tank top. But right now, you just looked.. homey. Your usual tight skinny jeans with a flowy, burnt orange sweater that hung off one shoulder. Half of your hair thrown up into a top knot.

You stood up from Jay and walked toward Judd, who's legs had inadvertently already rose and turned the corner of the couch. He stood in front of you looking confused, something you'd been hoping for.

_"I might have "forgotten" to take the turkey out of the freezer in time."_

He caught on and grabbed the dish from your hand, lazily tossing it onto the couch, _"You didn't think to warn me that you were coming over?"_

_"Then I wouldn't have gotten to see the adorable, confused look on your face."_

The words almost came out of Judd's mouth. He came so close to muttering them without even meaning to, but he was interrupted by the conversation ensuing behind him. Your sister and dad had found their way inside the house and everyone was introducing themselves to each other.

Everyone besides Jay. He stood to the side, staring straight ahead with flushed cheeks. He'd just been struck by cupid's arrow and was making heart eyes at your little sister. You laughed and crouched down to his level, whispering in his ear, _"Her name is Madison and she's too old for you, stud."_

Oh, but that didn't stop Jay. He pushed his way past Leah, who was quickly making friends, and awkwardly held his palm out for a handshake.

_"Hellooo.."_ He stumbled over her name,_ "M-m.. M-madi-"_

She nodded and shook his hand_, "Madison. I'm guessing you're Jay, Cal's told me about you."_

Judd took one look at your sister and honestly, he couldn't blame Jay for being nervous. The two of you favored each other. Fair skin, freckles, but her wavy hair was colored a shade of forest green that made her look like a mermaid on dry land.

You eventually wrangled them all into the kitchen where Elliot was setting the food out onto the table, Diane was pouring glasses of white wine for the adults.

_"Diane, Elliot, this is my dad, Alex. Dad, meet the Birch's."_

Your dad sure could make friends with anyone, and he was starving for human contact since retiring. He offered to carve the turkey and you all took your spots around the table. You sat between Judd and your dad. Your sister between Leah and Jay. Nick between Jay and his parents and his parents right beside your dad.

Bowls and platters got passed around in front of Judd and the conversations ensuing around him felt overwhelming. Overwhelming in a good way because for the first time in his entire life he finally felt.. home. You noticed his eyes darting back and forth, like he was subconsciously searching for an escape route in case it all became too much.

So you reached under the table, brushing your fingers over his and giving them a light squeeze just so he would know that you were there. You had his back, whatever he needed. And that act alone helped ease his racing thoughts and heart rate.  
  


The dinner was delicious to say the absolute least. The turkey was perfectly moist, mashed potatoes were buttery and the stuffing wasn't too dry. Leah and Madison sat to the right of Judd, showing each other pictures of guys on their cell phones. Jay sat with his chin rested in his hand, he'd barely eaten a bite while staring at your sister for the past hour. You'd _thought_ it was suspicious how quiet he'd become.

Elliot spoke to your dad in his usual, flamboyant tone, _"So, Alex! What was it like raising such a lovely young lady? You must be _**_so_**_ proud of her, going to medical school."_

Alex tossed his napkin down on his empty plate, _"Oh Cal was easy, she was scared of everything as a little one! But I always knew she'd work with animals, just didn't expect it to be dead ones. One time, when she was maybe.. three years old or so -"_

Your ears perked up, familiar with the story he was about to recite,_ "Dad, really, they don't wanna hear that story."_

_"I'm retired, honey, the only job I have left is to tell embarrassing stories about my girls."_ He turned his attention back toward Elliot and Diane, _"I had a huuuge bucket full of worms I planned to take fishing. Now, she loved bugs. It didn't matter what kind - lady bugs, honey bees, roley poleys, she loved them all. Well, she decided that these worms were her "best worm friends". So, needless to say, those worms did not get used as bait. _**_But_**_ she left them out in the July heat uncovered for a full day, and when she came to check on them the next morning, they were all dead! All shriveled up like dry noodles. Ooooh lord, my baby cried for TWO days over those damn worms."_

You rolled your eyes at the story, having heard him tell it _so_ many times over the years. It was cute, you couldn't deny that. But your dad kept going,_"And don't even get me started about her first puppy."_

Your heart sped up immediately, _"Dad, please -"_

But he didn't stop, _"She had that poor pup for four months, tops."_

You knew there was no convincing him, and your head was already fogging. You loudly scooted your chair back from the table, grabbing your pack of cigarettes from your bag and walking quickly towards the patio door, _"I'm gonna go smoke."_

Judd eyed the door, unsure of what to do. Should he follow? Did you want to be alone? The questions were answered for him when he heard a _"Psst.." _from a few seats down. It was Madison, she'd tilted her chair back on its two hind legs and was leaning behind Leah to whisper to him.

_"If you don't go, I am. She doesn't need to be alone."_

He took that as his cue and followed you out the back door, closing it quietly behind him. Judd watched you leaned against the porch railing, puffing on a cigarette like it was your only source of oxygen.

_"Hey.. you okay?"_

You looked over your shoulder and nodded your head, _"Yeah, just trying not to have a panic attack.. I fucking hate that story."_

The sun had long set and it was dark in the Birch's back yard. The cold air was helping to calm your nerves. Judd leaned his elbow against the railing beside you and you passed him the cigarette.

_"Spill it."_

It took you a moment, there was a lump hanging in your throat that you had to work past in order to get words out. But eventually, they came, _"When I was like.. six, my mom got me a little puppy. Just a little ankle biter, he was all black and I named him Comet. He was a dick to _**_everyone_**_, but we were best friends."_

You took another long drag and continued, _"I was fucking. Six. I didn't know how to take care of a god damn dog.. I didn't know not to give the damn thing Halloween candy. I figured I liked it, Comet would like it, too! And he did like it! But obviously, it was poisonous to him. Long story short, he died a few days later."_

Judd couldn't help but to think,_"that's it?". _With the way you were acting, he expected something more climactic.

_"I hate to sound insensitive, but.. you're having an anxiety attack over the dog that you accidentally killed when you were a kid?"_

You laughed, knowing how stupid it sounded, _"God, no. It's just.. that was my first _**_real_**_ encounter with death, and I wasn't exactly raised in a religious household. It was like something clicked in my head and I realized that _**_I _**_was gonna die, too. That one day everything around me would cease to exist.. myself included."_

You'd never told a soul about this fear, your _biggest_ fear. Your entire life, it'd haunted you like a jump scare from a movie. It came out of nowhere and at the worst of times. You'd be spending time with friends or laying down for bed, and all of a sudden you'd remember that one day, it'd be like none of this ever happened. Like _you_ never happened.

You felt your heart rate speeding up again and your skin turning clammy, you were panicking, _"Ffffuck! Does that not scare the shit out of you, Judd?? God, I'm surrounded by this whole wide world, I could be standing in the middle of an open field and still feel claustrophobic. It's like I'm in a fucking labyrinth, like I'm stuck in a corn maze and there's no way out because there _**_isn't_**_."_

Judd could see your thoughts racing behind your eyes and tossed out his cigarette, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you in tight. Shushing you and stroking your hair.

_"Babe, you're _**_never_**_ gonna be forgotten. Your freaking art, all the good you're gonna do for animals. There's no way in hell you're just gonna fade into the background. You're too.."_ he let out a sigh, trying not to drop the wrong words, _"...fucking perfect."_

You rested your head against his chest, allowing his steady heartbeat to sooth your own. His heavy embrace helping to bring your mind back down to Earth. You whispered to him after finally gathering yourself, _"I'm sorry.. I don't know why it just hits me like that."_

Judd kissed the top of your head before releasing his grip on you, _"Don't apologize. I told you, I wanna know everything. That includes your biggest fears."_

The two of you finished off another cigarette and went back inside the house, noticing everyone had relocated to the living room. Leah and Madison were sitting like they were best friends, practically on top of each other while sharing the recliner. Jay and Nick sat on the floor below them, drooling all over themselves. Meanwhile, your parents all sat side by side on the couch. Your dad still gushing over what a great child he'd raised.

_"...but Cal, she's brought a sort of _ ** _beauty_ ** _ to taxidermy that I'd never seen before. I never thought of it as an art form until I saw some of her work. She's made me proud."_

You leaned into Judd and he rested his arm over your shoulders as the two of you watched the scene from the door.

Diane spoke to her other two children, _"Leah, Nick, it's getting late.."_

Leah turned to her mom and gave her the sappiest puppy dog eyes you'd ever seen,_ "Mom, Dad.. Maddie and I were wondering if we could have a sleepover."_

Madison went in for the kill, too, _"Please, Dad? We're only in town for one more night."_

It was fine with all of them, and Elliot extended the offer, _"Actually, Alex, we have a guest room. I'm sure it's much more comfortable than Cal's couch if you want to take it for the night?"_

~

Hours later you hugged your Dad goodnight and checked on the girls in Leah's room, sneaking quietly back into Judd's room down the hall. You pulled off your jeans and changed into one of his shirts before crawling into bed beside him.

You asked, _"So what do _**_you_**_ think happens when we go?"_

He thought about it for a moment, _"I read somewhere that we're technically made of stardust. That we came to because of stars that exploded billions of years ago. So maybe it makes sense that we end up the same way we started.. stars just shooting around in all of the galaxies."_

You nuzzled against his chest and wrapped your fingers around his waist, _"Well I hope we end up in the same galaxy."_

Judd caught your eyes looking up at his and he felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. He could see all of the universe that he cared to right there, right then. He wanted more than anything to tell you, to just say the words.. but he couldn't.

_"I'd bet my life that we end up forming the brightest star is this fucking galaxy."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone that's been reading so far! You can also check out this story on Wattpad, if you use that platform as well.   
Next chapter you get to spend some quality time with the girls. Keep your eyes peeled for an upcoming Christmas special.  
Please, leave me some comments. I love hearing what you guys have to say! I'd also love to hear some suggestions for future scenes/chapters!


	11. Treat Her Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get to spend some time with the girls this chapter!

Jessi and Missy stood on the opposite side of Judd's door.

_"Go ahead, knock!"_

_"Are you kidding me? I'm not knocking on **Judd's** door! What if he's got some kind of booby-trap rigged??"_

They held their ears against the wood and listened to your squeals and his grunts, random bursts of laughter scattered between the noises.

Missy turned to her ginger haired friend,_ "Oh my gosh, is he hurting her? Jessi, do you think Judd is a domestic abuser??"_

Jessi'd had enough, she took the plunge. Tapping her knuckles against the door lightly, barely enough force behind them to make a sound. The two of them heard the noises stop.

Judd's deep voice boomed from inside the room, _"What do you want?"_

The door creaked as Jessi pushed it open. They witnessed Judd holding you up in the air bridal style and you clinging to him for dear life. They'd interrupted one of your playful wrestling matches and saved you from being body slammed right onto his bed.

Missy's voice cracked, _"S-sorry to.. to bother you, we were hoping to have a word with.. with Cali..."_

Judd looked back at you, annoyed at their presence. He wasn't gonna let you escape your untimely demise that easy. Just as you thought he was going to let you down gently, his arms lifted you back up above his head and dropped you onto the mattress. Jessi and Missy stared at the two of you with a mixture of horror and confusion.

You burst out again into a fit of laughter and ricocheted off the bed, onto your feet. Judd caught you by the wrist before you could make it out the door behind the girls,_ "We're still on for tonight, right?"_

_"Duh."_

He kissed you once and let you go. You followed the girls down the steps and took a seat on the couch, they stood in front of you.

_"What's up, guys? Is everything okay?"_

You figured it was one of their usual lines of questioning. Periods, bras, boys and sex. That's how it usually went.

Jessi was beating around the bush, _"It's so dumb... we were wondering - well, we were hoping.."_

But Missy spilled over, blurting our the words, "_WE WANT YOUR HELP GETTING READY FOR THE WINTER FORMAL!"_

A wide smile spread across your face and you leaned back in your seat, _"Okay, abso-fucking-lutely!"_

You'd been hoping the girls would ask for your help, missing the days when your sister needed your help with things like this. But you were also now under a tight timeline, as their dance would be starting in the Bridgeton Middle School gymnasium in just a few hours.

So you grabbed your keys from your jacket pocket and stood, _"We gotta make it fast though if you guys want your hair done, too. Come on!"_

The girls loaded up into your Toyota and you headed toward the mall. Luckily, most of the other kids their age had gotten their dresses weeks ago, so restocks were in and there were dozens for them to choose from.

You hit up Windsor, surrounded by mannequins sparsely dressed in low cut, no back, high slit fabric. Missy and Jessi stood in awe, you witnessed their sexual awakenings blossoming right before your eyes.

_"Move along, move along. All of these are gonna get you sent right the fuck home by Mr. Lizer, let's find something a little more.. appropriate."_

The girls tried on a dozen dresses each, you sat in the foyer as they came out and did their catwalk. Twirling and finally seeing their true beauty in the mirror before them.

Jessi eventually chose a dusty blue dress with embroidered roses around the waist. She sat with you on the chaise lounge while Missy continued her fashion show experience. You could see that something was wrong, so you probed.

_"Something's up, I can tell you wanna talk about it. So shoot."_

She sighed, _"It's just.. I should be doing this with my mom, right? **She** should be the one here telling me what looks cute, **she** should be the one curling my hair and doing my makeup."_

Good God, could you relate. The irony that you felt in that moment.. _"I gotcha. You know.. my mom didn't do those things with me either."_

Jessi looked up at you, _"Really?.. Why not?"_

You shrugged, trying not to let your mind wander too deep into the past, _"I guess she was just.. too busy, after she and my dad divorced. She never offered and I never asked her, so, y'know."_

You knew that wasn't the complete truth, but you didn't want the sour taste that your mom had left in your mouth to rub off on Jessi. After all, _their_ relationship was still repairable. Yours wasn't.

_"Did it suck? How did you handle it?"_

You were trying to give her some sort of hope, "_Yeah, it sucked in the moment. Butttt, I didn't have a super cool, older friend to help me look smokin' hot regardless those nights."_

Jessi cracked a smile just as Missy came out of the dressing room, "_Guys, I am saying **YES** to this dress!"_

She was fitted in a dark purple, sparkly dress that complimented her mocha skin so beautifully. You looked back and forth between the two girls, thankful that they weren't going through _anything_ like what you had when you were their age.

~

Back inside the Birch family home, you flung open the door that seemed to always be unlocked lately, rushing up the stairs behind the two girls. Giggling and racing each other to Leah's room. You slammed her bedroom door hard behind you and joined all the girls on the floor in front of a wide mirror.

Leah, Jessi, Missy and your sister, Madison. They helped you test out different shades on the girls' skin, pinned their hair up into different styles. It was the most fun you'd had with a group of girls in ages, even though they were all much younger than you. Hours passed and soon, Jessi stood before you in her dress with her hair styled into loose, beachy curls. Missy had hers brushed to the side with a flower that matched the shade of her gown tucked behind her ear.

Leah followed you down the stairs where the boys were waiting, Nick and Andrew adjusting each other's bow ties. You and Leah sat on the back of the couch, Judd was leaned against the wall counting the minutes until they all left.

Leah spoke to her brother,_ "Don't you look so handsome, Ni-"_

Andrew interrupted, answering in his friends' place, _"Well thank you, Leah!"_

Missy and Jessi came down the steps looking magical. Like real life versions of a pair of Disney princesses. You knew that right about now, Maury and Connie were whispering into Andrew and Nick's ears. Urging them to do unspeakable things.

Nick opened the door and held out his arm for Jessi, _"After you, m'lady."_

Jessi responded in a false, British accent, _"Well thank you, good sir!"_

Andrew followed behind Missy with lovestruck eyes, like he was under a spell. Then, all that was left was Jay. He looked like a sad, wet puppy dog after being left behind by his friends. Jay sighed and dragged his feet towards the door before you spoke.

_"You're not gonna wait for your date?"_

Jay looked up at you with hopeful eyes,_ "You mean, you're -"_

Judd cut in, leaving his place against the wall and leaning against the back of the couch beside you, throwing a protective arm around your shoulder, _"Not in your wildest dreams, cumstain."_

Jay looked back to his feet momentarily, then up the stairwell as the soft patter of footsteps floated through the air. Madison stood at the top, shining in a short _(emphasis on short)_, black, glittery dress. No back aside from a few thin strings, they were the only thing actually holding the dress to her.

_"Is that my senior prom dress??"_

Your sister cracked a smile as she stepped down the stairwell, _"Yeah it is, you stuffed it in my closet two years ago so Dad wouldn't find out you wore it. I thought it'd be perfect."_

Jay ogled at your sister, star struck and dumbfounded. Like if someone just poked him, he'd fall over stiff and shatter to pieces. Madison stood in front of him, reaching out a hand to close his gaping jaw, flattered by his response.

_"You can hold my hand and my hand **only**. One slow dance, and don't get your hopes up for a kiss at the end of the night. Deal?"_

All he could do was nod. Madison turned to you and you tossed her your car keys, having promised her she could take yours tonight, _"She doesn't drive like your Liberty, dude. Treat her right."_

They made a move toward the door but you spoke again, _"And Jay!"_

He turned toward you, obviously thrilled about the night he was about to have, _"Treat. Her. Right."_

He nodded his head and chased after Madison, following her to your car as you heard tires squeal off. Leah made her way toward the door as well, _"Well, since mom and dad are chaperoning, and you two are spending the night here... guess I'll be headed out as well. Don't wait up, lovebirds."_

************ Judd's POV ************

Finally, all the shit heads were gone. Leah was gone. My parents were gone. I was convinced, tonight would be the night. Nothing could stop me, I was gonna tell her. Was I going to tell her?

My thoughts broke as a I felt her nails lightly scrape against my stomach through my shirt. My arm still draped around her shoulders as she leaned into my grasp. I took in her sweet scent, today is was citrusy Valencia oranges.

She sounded just as sweet as she smelled, _"I recall you promising me a date night?"_

A date. We'd been seeing each other regularly for going on four months, and had **maybe** two real dates in that time. I wasn't even sure if she would consider this a date, but fuck it. I helped her off the back of the couch and led her to the downstairs den.

_"It's not much. I'm not good at these things, but.."_

I opened the door and watched the string lights reflect in her eyes, they clung to the ceiling and illuminated the otherwise dark room. An overhead machine protecting a movie screen onto the empty wall on the far side of the room, and a thick pallet of blankets and pillows right in front of the ray of light.

She turned toward me, cutting her eyes suspiciously, _"You planned this date night with ulterior motives. Didn't you, Judd Birch?"_

It didn't matter how long I spent with her, when she challenged me, I still tensed up. When she inched closer to my chest, I still felt my breathing slow. Now was no different, even with her body pressed against mine and her hazel eyes looking up at me.

I smiled sarcastically, playing dumb, _"I have no clue what you're talking about, Calico."_

She hated when I used her full name. Actively loathed it. She took a single step away from my body, _"Hundreds of thousands of horror movies exist and you just happened to choose the one that actually scares the piss out of me? The Grudge, really?"_

I faked a laugh, "_This shitty, Americanized, remake? I thought you had guts, kid. Guess I was wrong."_

Just in time, the doorbell rang from the main floor, _"I ordered pizza, that movie better be playing when I come back."_

_"Chicken and banana peppers?"_

I nodded "_yes_" and she leaned back into me, breaking her hard ass guise,_ "Fuck, you know me."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, next chapter is going to be a Jay x Madison (your sister) special. For one chapter and one chapter only, just because Jay is a little cutie and he deserves some love.   
I promise, things are picking back up after the Christmas special.   
Let me know what you guys think! I love hearing from you all.


	12. Wild Horses - Jay Bilzerian Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Jay Bilzerian Special, for one chapter and one chapter only!

Jay rode in the passenger seat of the Toyota nervous, having been blindsided by who was going to be attending Bridgeton Middle's Winter Formal with him. His eyes wandered to the driver's seat, admiring how the dress twinkled even in the darkness of the night.

Madison's view shifted from the road to Jay, he turned away quickly. Trying to pretend that he wasn't just fawning over the contrast between her porcelain skin and the fabric.

_"Is this gonna be one of those things where you awkwardly don't speak to me all night?"_

Jay tried not to stutter, _"Oh, uh.. no, I just wasn't expecting-"_

_"I know you weren't. Cal said you were cool though." _She pulled into the parking lot and threw the car into park, _"So I'm gonna need you to start acting cool, Jay."_

Inside the gymnasium they could hear whispers and see the side glances that students were giving them, even a few teachers gave them the double take. Though Madison was barely three years older than Jay, he was tall for his age. She stood just a hair taller than him and hung onto his arm as they walked through the double doors.

She had to break Jay's outer shell, get him to be himself and stop being so shy. So she pulled him over to the photo booth near the entrance. A white backdrop in front of a string of LED lights, bushels of evergreen branches hanging from the top of it.

_"Come on! Let's take some pictures so we can remember tonight!" _Madison pulled Jay's arm over her bare shoulders and his skin tingled, she was so soft. She wrapped her arms around his waist, smiling at the camera as the lens flashed bright.

There were four pictures in the photo strip and Jay only had one more chance to take a good one, he pulled his arm off of her skin and turned to her, _"Wait!"_

A switch flipped inside Jay, going into performance mode and doing what he does best. Madison watched his hands twist and flow around each other, until suddenly a rose appeared before her. Her eyes went wide and the camera flashed, catching the perfect photo.

_"I'm gonna be honest, that was smooth as shit. You're like a young Houdini, aren't you?"_

To be compared to the legend himself, it made Jay's heart swoon. They made their way over to his friends - Nick and Jessi, Andrew and Missy, Matthew and Aiden. The rest of the students were split up on either side of the room, boys on one end and girls on the other.

Jay introduced her, _"Guys, have you met my _**_date_**_? My stunning, sixteen year old date?"_

Madison's lips turned up into a smile and she continued for him, _"I'm Madison, it's nice to meet you guys."_

Matthew keyed up with a usual snarky remark, _"_**_You're _**_here with _**_him_**_? On your own free will?"_

"_I know, how did I get so lucky?" _Responding only half sarcastically and leaning into him, _"He could've asked any girl in this school to come with him, instead he held out for me."_

Suddenly, the lights dimmed just a bit and the music got louder. It was officially time for the dance to start. Madison recognized the song, feeling the beat flow through her body. Jay looked at her, watching the gloss shine on her lips and she mouthed the words.

_We go together better than birds of a feather_   
_You and me, we change the weather_   
_I'm feelin' the heat in December when you're 'round me_

Jay's friends watched Madison tug on his arm, pulling him out into the middle of the gym floor. They were the first ones to break the barriers that the other students had set for themselves and soon, his friends joined. Then, one by one, the rest of the kids.

Finally, Jay's nervousness faded away watching his date's hips sway in time with the music. She seemed to know every word to every song, and as she sang along with them it was like she was speaking _directly _to Jay.

Madison was thrown off when she felt Jay's fingers slide between hers. He guided her movements, twirling her and pulling her back to him.

They heard Mr. Lizer's voice through the music, _"Separate!" _And then the words he mumbled under his voice, _"we're not running a damn brothel.."_

Jay experienced a high that he'd never felt before when she laughed at Mr. Lizer's prudeness. They went through this for a dozen songs, chaperones pulling them apart when they got too close and then testing their luck again when they thought they were in the clear. That is until Mr. Lizer finally marched over, grabbing Madison by the arms roughly, pulling them off of Jay's shoulders.

_"What part of _ ** _SEPARATE _ ** _do you two not understand?? One more strike and you're both out!"_

Jay saw red as he witnessed the adult's hand gripped tightly around his date's bicep. He felt his arms extend away from his body and connect with Mr. Lizer's chest, _"Back off, douche! Don't touch her!"_

Lizer was stunned, he tried to mask his embarrassment with authority. Pointing toward the exit and speaking in a stern voice, _"Both of you."_

Madison grabbed Jay by the hand and jogged to the car, trying to escape the freezing temperature outside as quickly as possible. She was giggling uncontrollably as she slammed the car door behind her, but Jay looked disappointed, _"What's so funny? I got us kicked out.."_

_"No way, I'm the one who kept overstepping that asshat's imaginary line. Besides, we're too cool for that dance anyways."_

Jay smiled and looked over at her in the driver's seat, _"You really think I'm cool?"_

She nodded, _"Mhm, cooler than all those losers."_

Throwing the car into drive, _"But not cooler than me. Now, show me the way."_

Jay directed her toward his house and she parked on the curb, unbuckling her seatbelt, _"Oh, you're - you're coming in? I wasn't exactly.. prepared for guests."_

"_I'm staying with Leah tonight but she's out with some guy until later. And Judd is _**_definitely _**_balls deep in my sister right now, soo... I've got time to kill." _She reached for the door handle and turned back to look at Jay, _"That is, if it's okay with you?"_

Madison followed Jay up the stairs to his bedroom. He rushed ahead of her, quickly picking up all the scattered clothes and shoving them into his closet.

_"Oddly enough, this is exactly how I pictured your room."_

Jay stepped back, watching her circle the room, _"You.. picture my room?"_

She looked over at him with a smirk and ignored his question, picking up a framed photo that sat on the shelves above his bed, _"This your family?"_

_"Yeah! Those are my brothers, Val and Kurt. And that's my mom and dad!"_

Madison sat on the edge of his bed, _"Who's the blonde chick beside your dad?"_

_"Oh, that's his receptionist, Taffiny."_

She cocked an eyebrow, _"Your dad's mistress.. is in your family photos?"_

_"Oh yeah, my dad says it's weird to _ ** _not_ ** _ fuck around after the first year of marriage."_

The statement hit home for Madison and she tried to laugh it off, _"Sounds like your dad should meet my mom."_

Jay might have been naive about most things that didn't involve jacking off, but he was no stranger to dysfunctional families. He caught the hint of pain in Madison's voice and didn't want to press further, so he changed the subject.

_"Soo.. about that slow dance?"_

Madison looked up from the photograph with a suspicious smile, _"Ah, you remembered that. How are we supposed to dance without any music?"_

Jay reached behind his back, pulling a record out of thin air for his next magic trick and popping it onto the old record player on the other side of the room. He moved the needle to the edge of the disc and the slow, melodic music played.

_Childhood living is easy to do_   
_The things that you wanted, I bought them for you_

He held out his hand to her and she lifted herself off the bed, her fingers joining his and then sliding up to meet her other hand around the back of his neck. Jay gently wrapped his hands around her waist. Not too low, just like she'd warned him about.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away_   
_Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away_

Madison rested her head against his shoulder,_ "Rolling Stones. Y'know, you're pretty smooth for a thirteen year old."_

_"Not to sound like a creep or anything, but I'm _ ** _actually _ ** _a famous, forty year old magician with a white Rolex."_

Jay swayed in time with his date, realizing the rare calmness he felt inside his brain. If this were anyone else in his room, he'd be seizing the opportunity to quietly rub one out in his jeans. Or even if he were alone, he'd probably be fucking his pillow right now, like he did every night before bed. But now? Now he just felt content. Something he'd never experienced before.

_"You're not a creep, Jay.. and thanks for that."_

They relished in the moment of their skin against each other, enjoying the song and just melting into each other's arms. As much as Madison hated to admit it, she loved the feeling of him around her. Something about Jay made her feel safe, protected. An attribute that her parents had failed to provide her the past few years.

But the moment was interrupted by the slamming of doors downstairs and glass breaking. Madison heard Jay whisper to himself, _"Fffffuuucckkkkk."_

_"Who's that?"_

Jay pulled his body away from hers, keeping her at arms length with his hands still rested on the small of her back. He let out a disappointed sigh before continuing, _"That's my brothers... look, I'm sorry, but you're probably gonna want to go before shit gets weird."_

Madison took the hint and backed up toward the door, _"Walk me out?"_

As if Jay even had a choice. They barely made it down the stairwell before two figures cut in front of them. Coming out of the shadows, she could see that they were both much taller than the two of them. The older one, Kurt, stood stone faced with his hands down to his sides. Wearing a tank top even though he'd just been out in the freezing cold of December. The younger one, Val, stood with his arms crossed in a red zip up hoodie. He held a slick smile on his face and spoke directly to his little brother, _"Well, well, well.. what do we have here?"_

Jay protectively grabbed her hand, pulling her past his brothers and out the front door to the car.

_"What, too soon to introduce me to the fam?"_

Jay nervously ruffled his hair, _"You don't want to be introduced, _**_trust me_**_."_

Madison let out a half chuckle and leaned against the cold car door, _"I'm not gonna lie, this started out as a favor for Cal. But I had a lot of fun with you tonight, Jay."_

Jay's heart fluttered, he struggled to keep his voice below a scream for joy while responding, _"This was the best night of my life. Maybe we could.. do this again sometime?"_

He looked away, hoping it would mask some of the pain of rejection. And Madison hated to do it, _really _hated to do it - but she _was _rejecting him.

_"We'll have our time. Hit me up when you're twenty and starting your career as a professional magician, I'll be twenty-three and finishing up my fashion design degree."_

She took note of Jay's brothers that were watching from his bedroom window, reaching out to grab his tie, _"You'll get ahold of me under the guise of needing a new suit designed, maybe we'll make magic happen.."_

Jay felt his hands quivering, unsure if it was because of the cold winds or because she was steadily pulling his face closer to hers.

_"But for now.. your brothers are watching, let's give them something to talk about."_

Her grip on his tie tightened and she closed the gap between them, Jay stood dumbfounded until his hands found her waist yet again. They melted into each other's warmth. Her hands sliding around the back of his neck and his tongue slipping between her lips. Jay was much less experienced than her, but she guided him through the brief make out session before pulling away.

Jay's eyes were still closed and his mouth still open when she looked at him, _"Feel free to tell them whatever you want, I don't plan on ever formally meeting them."_

Madison lowered herself down into the car, _"I'll see you around, Jay."_

He couldn't get his voicebox to make words, she closed the door. Starting up the car, he watched her take off down the street. It was then that he managed to whisper to himself, now feeling every ounce of anxiety that he'd been free of the past few hours, _"Bye.."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this little side story! Like I said, I just wanted to show Jay a little love, he deserves it. The story will resume as normal on Wednesday and unfortunately, will be wrapping up soon. ):  
If anyone has anything that they really want to happen before the finale, PLEASE let me know! I'm open to suggestions!  
Let me know what you guys think, I love hearing from you all.


	13. Conditional - EXTREMELY NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING !!! This chapter is 100% porn with a plot. I apologize if I have any dedicated readers that aren't into that sort of thing, but I promise that it serves a purpose. BUT you'll have to read until the very end to figure out that purpose.

You sat on the makeshift pallet with your legs thrown over Judd's lap. You probably would've been fine had he not insisted on turning out all the lights, including the string lights that romantically clung to the ceiling. You knew what was about to happen, you'd watched this movie a hundred times as a kid, yet it never failed to scare the shit out of you.

And now was no different, you jumped at the sight of Kayako crawling up the stairs after Susan. Squeezing your eyes shut and turning into Judd's chest, gripping his shirt for dear life.

_"Jesus! Ffffucking christtt!"_

Judd couldn't help but to laugh at your expense, and you laughed in return.

_"God, you're cruel, you know? This is _ ** _peak _ ** _entertainment for you, isn't it?"_

He was still laughing as he gripped your waist, pulling you the rest of the way onto his lap, _"Fuck yeah, it is."_

Judd pulled one of the many blankets over the two of you, _"You think you're so big and bad. I fucking love seeing you.. terrified."_

He ran his hands up your thighs underneath the blanket and you pulled your face away from his chest, smiling up at him suspiciously, _"Holy shit, this is turning you on, isn't it? God, you have some _**_seriously _**_fucked up fantasies inside that sick__, __twisted head of yours."_

You leaned in to kiss him but he didn't reciprocate your movements, instead he bore a stoic expression. His fingers tickled your hips under your sweatshirt as he finally spoke, _"You don't want to know all the fantasies I have about you.. Watch the movie, Cal."_

What position were you in to refuse? He knew you. He knew that in your public and professional life, you liked to be in complete control of every aspect. Because of that, when it came to your sex life, you _loved _when he took control. Fucking melting when he told you what to do and made decisions for you.

So you turned back toward the movie, keeping your position on his lap. Slowly, he traced his fingers over your abdomen.

Judd wasn't even _pretending _to watch the movie. Using the date as a guise, an excuse to throw back at you all of the relentless teasing that you constantly inflicted on him. He continued simply massaging your torso for a while, gently moving his hands over your skin. Occasionally brushing your nipple with his thumb or just barely dipping his fingertip underneath the hem of your leggings.

You tried your hardest not to writhe against his jeans, but it was _so. fucking. tempting. _You felt his growing cock beneath you, still, you kept your eyes locked to the screen and acted as if his wandering hands weren't driving you insane. But Judd knew you better than that.

He slipped his hand into your pants and under your panties, you heard him scoff to himself when he felt how wet you already were. He didn't go further, just rested his middle finger between your lips and leaned his face into the sensitive skin on your throat. Planting delicate kisses on your neck, kisses that slowly turned into nibbles.

You tried to plead with him, _"Judd.."_

But he wasn't having it, he growled low into your ear, _"Say another word and I'll stop right now."_

You were cursing yourself for being helplessly turned on by fucking assholes. Still, you turned your face back toward the screen. His free hand running up your body, gently twirling your nipple between his fingers. He felt your heartbeat thumping in your chest and took that as his cue to resume his nibbles. Biting and sucking your skin just hard enough to leave tiny, crimson bruises.

Meanwhile, you were torn between trying not to look anywhere but the screen and anticipating a part that you knew was going to scare the absolute shit out of you. You didn't want him to stop, but you knew it was coming. Susan looks under her blankets to reveal Kayako in her bed, and just as your body shuttered with fright you felt two of Judd's fingers dip deep between your legs. What would've been a terrified yelp turned into a moan of pleasure.

Judd's deep voice whispered against your neck, _"Shhh, sshhush, baby.."_

The was no watching the movie now. You rested against him and moved your arm behind his shoulders, giving him better access to your chest. He took advantage of your position and pushed your sweatshirt up, lapping at your nipple while his fingers slid in and out of you with ease. You struggled to hold back moans, settling on subtle panting that he pretended not to hear.

Every now and then Judd pulled his fingers out of you, using your own sticky juices to massage your aching clit. Rubbing his soaking wet hand back and forth against it until you were **so **fucking close that you couldn't stop yourself from whining when he pushed his fingers back in.

Suddenly, you felt his bright green eyes burning a hole in you. You looked down and sure enough, he was staring up at you while roughly sucking your nipple between his teeth. You knew that nipple would be bruised in the morning.

He spoke to you while slowly pushing in a third finger, pulling them in and out as your mouth gasped for air, _"You wanna cum, baby?"_

You nodded hard, it was all you wanted. You would've sold your soul to Satan himself if it meant that Judd would tell you to cum that very second.

_"You can cum, but there's one condition.."_

You responded through gritted teeth, _"I don't ffffuckinggg care, whatever it is, yes!"_

He bit back down on your nipple with a smile on his face and drug his fingers out of your pussy, up your slit and rubbed them up and down your clit. Just enough pressure to cause your body to tense up, you were right on the edge.

Finally, he said the words, _"Cum."_

Your body was going to do it regardless, but him _telling _you too made it so much better. You felt the intense wave hit you and you dug your nails into his shoulder, your ass grinding back and forth against his lap. His hand never letting up, he continued the assault on your clit until he felt your legs subtly shaking on top of his. Then he dipped his fingers back into your pussy, feeling the aftermath of the most intense orgasm of your life.

******* JUDD'S POV *******

My head was spinning and heart racing. It was easy to look cool on the outside, but on the inside.. I needed her. I needed her **now.**

Her chest was heaving against my mouth as she caught her breath, I looked up at her and could already see the drops of sweat forming on her forehead. Fuck, she looked angelic. Like God's _favorite _angel that had just fallen from Heaven, right into the garden of Eden. It still blew my mind that this creature was more than happy to let me take advantage of her, or was it the other way around?

_"On your knees."_

She slid off of my lap and into my favorite position to see her in, pulling her shirt over her head in the process. Ankles crossed, bare feet resting under her plump ass. I wasn't a feet type of guy, but god damn, I was in love with every inch of her.

I shifted onto the couch behind us and leaned toward her, resting my elbows on my knees and extending my wet fingers.

_"I told you, your orgasm was conditional. Open up, baby."_

Her eyes lit up even in the darkness. Something had told me that she was into more disgusting shit than she had been letting on. She opened her mouth with a smile, sticking her pink tongue out and greeting my fingers with it. Lapping up the very last drop of her own cum like a little kitten.

I cupped her face in my free hand as she finished cleaning me off, _"God, you're so fucking sweet.."_

I stood up in front of her, dropping my jeans and boxers, allowing my cock to spring free. Jesus Christ, it was a sight to see.. her thighs squeezed together while she rested on her knees, topless and tracing the underside of my cock with her tongue. All while looking right up into my eyes.

But my dick couldn't handle much of her tongue. I pulled my shirt off and kicked the rest off my clothes off of my ankles. I leaned down, finally kissing her warm lips. Guiding her back onto the blankets and pillows while pulling her tights down with one hand.

I expected to just sink into her, to just fuck her hard and deep and blow my load in a matter of minutes. But once my body was on top of hers, her legs hooked around my waist and our tongues dancing between each other's mouths.. _fuck_, I got lost. I got so lost in the comfort of her body wrapped around mine.

Her muffled moans against my lips brought me back to Earth, I'd been subconsciously grinding my cock between her pussy lips and against her clit for who knows how long. Finally, fucking finally.. I pulled back and shifted my hips before sliding my entire length into her.

Her nails dig into my back and I paused, trying my fucking hardest to think about anything but how good she felt. Buying myself more time. Moments passed and I hooked an arm under one of her knees, resting the other above her head. Opening her up for me to push even deeper.

She felt every fucking inch of me as I pulled out and crashed back into her. Over. And over. And fucking over. Her moans and my grunts filled the room, even over the movie that was still playing behind us. My name escaped her lips between gasps for air, "_Fffuucckkk, Judd, right fucking there.."_

Making my heart sink into the very depths of my groin. I growled into her ear, _"God damnit, say my name again, baby.."_

I slammed back into her, my balls slapping against her ass, and ground myself against her clit. She said it again, _"Shittt, right there, Judd!"_

I was spiraling again, knowing I wouldn't last much longer. So I kissed my way down her throat and bit her salty skin, _"I need you to fucking cum, Cali. Ffuck, I need you to cum on my cock."_

She was trying, I knew she was. And I'd learned how to get her there. My hand above her head wrapped around her throat and my lips moved up to her ear, tugging on her lobe while I whispered to her. She _fucking_ _loved _being talked over the edge, _"You've been so. fucking. good. tonight, sweetheart. Now, just cum for me. Cum on my cock, baby."_

I pulled out and thrusted back into her completely with every word that escaped my lips until I felt her legs tighten around my waist. I felt her contracting around me, so I tightened my grip around her throat. Laying into her even harder while my own cum spilled inside her pussy. My words never stopped, _"Oh, just like that, Cali.. Fuckkk, I fucking love this. Oh my god, I love you."_

It slipped out. Those three words, they slipped out so naturally but completely by accident. My blood ran cold the second I realized what I'd said and I prayed that she didn't hear them over the sound of our sweaty bodies slapping together. Even if she _had _heard them, she wouldn't have been able to say anything back because of how hard my hand has tightened around her throat.

Our orgasms subsided and I allowed her to take a full breath once again, my body resting on top of hers. I was nervous and tired and fucking **terrified **all at once. She pushed the damp hair that was stuck to her forehead out of her face as I lifted myself off of her. Her chest and throat were spotted with handprints and bruises as her blood clotted below the surface of her skin. She looked _so. fucking. beautiful._

_"Holy shit."_

Either she was acting like she hadn't heard my previous words or they'd truly been drowned out, like I'd hoped. Had I really hoped that? It'd come out so easily, and it was true. 100% true. I think I was really hoping that she would've just said it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I've said a few times, we're getting closer and closer to the end of this fic ):  
BUT I'm already thinking ahead to what stories I plan on writing next. I'd really love to do a Val Blizerian x Reader one, but I don't feel like that demand is great enough for it. Let me know what other TV shows you guys read fics for or what love story fics you'd be interested in!
> 
> I love hearing from you guys, let me know what you're thinking in the comments!


	14. Hereditary

Your peaceful sleep was abruptly interrupted. You know that feeling when you wake up _knowing _that you've over slept? Without even looking at the time or checking to see how high the sun is outside? Yeah, that. You sat up straight in Judd's bed and grabbed your phone.

12:15 P.M.

_"Shhhhitttt."_

Jumping out of bed and pulling on your jeans, sweater and boots from the night before. You scurried to throw your hair up into a somewhat presentable bun, shoving Bobby pins in it to tame your wild ends.

Judd barely stirred, asking you in a sleepy voice, _"What's wrong, baby?"_

Oh, did your heart melt. It physically pained you to leave him, but you had prior arrangements and would never hear the end of it if you cancelled. Hell, you were already going to be late.

_"I overslept, I'm late to have freakin' lunch with my mom."_

You searched for your keys in the darkness of his room, refraining from flipping on the lights as to not disturb him. He continued, _"On the dresser."_

With hands now gripping your keys for dear life, you leaned over the bed. Pushing Judd's messy hair out of his face and kissing him on the head, _"I'm out, call me when you actually wake up."_

You were almost out the door when you heard his voice again, _"You want me to come over later?"_

Even in his dreams he didn't want to be away from you, always anticipating when the two of you would see each other next. It's not like you were really spending much time apart lately, but even just a few hours felt like days.

You stopped in the frame and hesitated, _"Uh.. maybe.. I think I have some work I need to finish up."_

He quietly drifted back to sleep, sealed by his light snoring and turning away from the light of the hallway.

~

You drove like a madman, speeding and running red lights like this town _wasn't _full of cops that were looking for something to do. Pulling into the parking lot and throwing your car out of drive, you stopped for a moment. Just looking at the building. The old steakhouse that you'd met your mom at on this day, every year, for almost four years now. It was one of the only get togethers you had with her these days, and only because you felt obligated. Your sister didn't feel that obligation, she'd stopped coming in the past few years in order to protect her mental health. You took a deep breath before starting in, and let it out in a sigh of anticipation.

Your eyes scanned the room at the tops of everyone's heads, looking for your mom's platinum blonde pixie cut. There she was, in the same booth as always.

You slid into the seat in front of her, trying to pretend like you weren't already annoyed. It didn't make a difference, she was annoyed, too. Your mom looked over the top of her menu.

_"Late, again."_

Great, she was already in one of her moods. It was impossible to predict what was going to set her off at any given time. But you spoke meekly as to not push her even further, _"My bad, lost track of time."_

The two of you sat in silence until finally your waiter arrived. Your mother ordered tea while you almost pulled out your fake ID to order a glass of wine, but you knew better. She'd call you out on it right in front of the server, as if she'd never touched a drop of alcohol before her 21st birthday. Water it was.

_"Your dad says you've been seeing some guy. By the looks of your neck, that seems to be true.."_

**Fuck. **You'd forgotten all about the bruises that Judd had left you the night before. They were now showing themselves proudly to everyone around you, your mother included. Suddenly you felt so exposed, you pulled your sweatshirt sleeve down over your hand and rested it on your neck, trying to hide the evidence. But your mother continued. She just kept pushing.

_"Lord, those are just so trashy, Calico.. I don't know why you let guys do that to -"_

You felt a small snap in your tolerance, like a tiny cracking in your inner psyche and couldn't stop your mouth from saying what your mind was thinking.

_"For the love of God, Mom, it's Cal. Cali or Cal, pick one."_

Your patience toward her had become so short as time went on. She always had something to say, just never something _nice _to say.

The waiter dropped off your drinks and a basket of bread. You watched your moms thin fingers as they tore off bite sized pieces and popped them into her mouth. You could feel it in your brain when you looked at her, the time bomb that was reset every year on this day. You could hear it tick-tick-ticking, praying that you could find an excuse to get out of there before it went off.

She asked you about her sister, and about the "brown kid" that she'd entertained the night before. Apparently your sister had posted a photo strip on Facebook and forgotten to hide your mother from seeing it.

_"And what about your guy? What's his name? Your daddy told me, is it Jed, Jeb?"_

Squeezing one too many lemons into your water, great. It just added to the annoyance of the situation around you.

_"Judd."_

She knew his name. You knew she knew his name. This was the shit she pulled, because she knew all about how it felt to have the little stuff stack. And stack. And stack. Until it came crumbling down.

_"Hm, Judd." _You hated the sound of his name being spoken by her voice, _"Does he know about -"_

Another crack in the imaginary branch, you cut her off, _"Is this really what you wanna do today? You wanna argue?"_

She shrugged her shoulders, pretending as if she wasn't the aggressor in this conversation, _"What?? I'm just saying, baby. Maybe if Jordan had known, things would've turned out differently, you never know!"_

You scoffed and looked away with a smile, a smile of absolute disbelief, _"Mom, Jordan and I broke up because he was sticking his dick in other girls behind my back. You'd know that if you'd actually been there."_

It was truly an art form how she could get you worked up so easily. How she could twist and turn any situation to fit her personal narrative.

_"Oh, what are you saying? I _ ** _was _ ** _there, I was there for every "episode", every outburst -"_

Finally, you leaned across the table. Palms out, your body language _pleading _for her to either recognize how you felt, or simply shut the hell up, _"You were there for the lows. You stopped by for long enough to tell me that I was crazy and over reacting and then you left. Again!"_

_"Because you WERE over reacting! You WERE crazy! And you needed someone to tell you that!"_

Your voice had been barely above a whisper the entire duration so as to not alert the people dining around you. But now.. oh, now you were yelling. Your palms slammed flat against the table as those little cracks in your psyche turned into a full blown snap.

"_What I _**_NEEDED _**_was for you to be a goddamn adult! I needed you to be my fucking mom, Mom!"_

She glanced around the room, the people around you now catching side glances and murmuring to themselves. Your mother's fragile ego was hurt. She whispered through gritted teeth, _"Lower. Your. Voice."_

_"Oh god, you're so fucking concerned about what strangers think of you."_

Interrupted by your waiter, he'd overheard the commotion and didn't say a word as he sat down your plates. You looked down at your food and suddenly couldn't even think of eating.

He walked away and you continued, _"Tell me, which would've _**_really _**_bruised your pride more - admitting that your daughter needed help, or having to call 9-1-1 because she'd slit her wrists and was bleeding out all over your porcelain fucking floors?"_

She scoffed and took a bite of her salad, pretending like none of this was a big deal, _"You didn't need "help", Cali. Your daddy just babied you too much."_

_"Oh but when _ ** _you _ ** _needed help it was real, right?"_

She looked up at you from her dish. Finally, you'd struck a nerve, and you weren't stopping there, _"And while we're addressing the elephant in the room, have you been taking your medicine?"_

She warned you, _"Cali -"_

But you were on a roll, _"Because _**_I_**_ have. Maybe that's why you live your life in one never ending manic episode and I only have them after spending ten fucking minutes with you."_

Her fork hit the bottom of her plate, forcing an ear piercing screech to catch the attention of everyone in the room. She looked across the table and you noticed the look in her eyes, you'd seen it reflected back at you in the mirror one too many times.

_"Cali! I_ _. A_ _m_ _. Y_ _our_ _. M_ _other!"_

You grabbed your keys, spitting back at her, _"Yeah, and unfortunately your problems are hereditary."_

You slid out of the booth, throwing your bag over your shoulder and pacing toward the door.

******* Judd's POV *******

I laid in the darkness of my bedroom after she left, my thoughts still swimming back to last night. Had she really not heard me? Did she not feel the same way? My bedroom used to be my only safe haven in this shit hole, aside from inside the walls. Now this bed felt too big for just my own body.

There was a tap at my door, followed by a voice, _"Cal!"_

It was Madison. I threw my legs over the bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants before pulling the door open.

_"Hey, where's Cali? I was hoping she'd wanna catch a bite to eat before I head back to the city."_

I flipped on the light switch and abandoned my post in front of her, walking toward the closet and pulling on a shirt while replying, _"No clue. She left like twenty minutes ago."_

Fuck, she was so much like Leah, it was irritating. She crossed her arms and leaned against the frame, _"Okay.. did she say where she was going? Or when she'd be back?"_

_"No. Something about meeting your mom for lunch."_

Suddenly, her arms dropped from her sides and the calm expression on her face became worrisome. She cursed to herself, _"Ffffucking shit, are you serious??"_

_"Yeah, is that a bad thing?"_

Her eyebrows knitted together, _"Yeah.. Wait, has she not -"_

It was like she answered her own question in her question. She looked up and down the hallway, making sure no one was about to see her step into my room and closed the door behind her. I took the invasion of my personal space lightly considering how concerned she looked.

She sighed before responding, _"Listen - you need to go to her apartment. Wait for her there."_

_"Don't think so. It didn't exactly sound like she wanted me around when she left this morning."_

Now she was the one getting irritated with me, _"Yeah, because doesn't want you to know, dip-ass."_

Madison made herself comfortable in my desk chair before continuing, _"She doesn't want people seeing her lows, so she hunkers down until they pass. And our fucking mom _**_always _**_finds a way to get her low."_

I was becoming increasingly concerned, _"Lows? Doesn't want me to know WHAT??_"

She hesitated to say it, like she didn't want to be the one to break the news.

_"Cal and our mom both have bipolar disorder. Cali keeps hers in check, but our mom.. Our mom just loves to fucking wallow in her lows. And she _ ** _loves _ ** _to drag Cal down with her."_

Admittedly, I didn't know much about bipolar disorder. But from everything that I'd seen about it, I didn't believe Madison.

_"There's no way. We've been up each other's asses for the past four months, I think I would've noticed by now."_

She didn't care if I believed her or not, Madison had long gone into protection mode over her sister, _"I don't have time to give you a fucking science lesson on the subject. Either you're cool with her dropping off the face of the Earth for the next two weeks, or you go wait for her. I'm headed to her place either way."_

We were stuck in a staring competition while she waited for me to make my decision. My gaze broke first as I finally went for my shoes, pulling them on and following her out the door to her Jeep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the semi filler chapter, guys. ): This chapter just got waaaaay too long so I had to split it up. But hey, at least we get an extra chapter out of this story, right??  
Let me know what you guys are thinking, I love hearing from you guys!


	15. Better Homes & Gardens

She explained Cali's "triggers". The tiny things that piled up on top of her when she was already mentally laying at the bottom of a cliff. Explaining that every single one of those things might feel like the weight of a feather to _us_, but to _her_, they were a ton of bricks. Things like dirty dishes in the sink, a lightbulb being burnt out, or the dripping of water from the faucet.

We got to her apartment and it was clean, it was always clean. But Madison took one look around.

_"It's _ ** _not _ ** _clean, Judd. I'm telling you, she will walk in and have a fucking melt down if you let her. Come on - let's get to work."_

Fuck, what did I sign up for? We cleaned. No, we _scrubbed _that apartment from top to bottom. Vacuumed the carpet, folded clothes, dusted, washed and put up dishes. I thought Madison was just overreacting until I watched her straightening photographs and artwork on the walls with a fucking leveling bar, making sure they were as straight as gravity would allow them to be.

I inquired further to help the time go by faster, and so I couldn't understand what was going on inside my girlfriend's brain without making her explain it to me herself.

_"Why didn't she tell me?"_

Madison responded casually, like she'd been through this all before, _"Because she's embarrassed. And scared."_

_"Scared? Of what?"_

She purses her lips together and shook her head, _"Being absolutely anything like our mom. An emotionally unavailable bitch."_

It clicked in my head and I finally understood, realization spilling out of my mouth, _"Shhitttt.."_

Madison looked at me with a cocked brow, _"Spill it, what'd you do?"_

I was hesitant, this was her little sister. But it made sense now, why she didn't say it back if she actually _had _heard my words.

_"I don't know why I'm telling you this.. but I accidentally dropped the L bomb on her."_

Her eyes went wide and a smile spread across her face.

_"I thought she didn't hear me because she didn't say it back, she didn't say _ ** _anything_ ** _. But I don't know.."_

Madison moved to place all of the cleaning products back under the sink, leaving this apartment sparkling clean like something out of a Better Homes & Garden magazine, _"She definitely heard you. And she was probably freaked out."_

Great. Probably the only time I'll ever fall in love and it's with a girl that's "freaked out" by falling in love.

_"But she fucking loves you, Judd."_

Madison grabbed her keys and started for the door, _"Where are you going?"_

_"Cal can't stand to be around our mom for more than an hour. She'll probably be pulling in any minute and it sounds like you guys have a lot to talk about."_

She closed the door behind her and I was left alone in the quiet home, unsure of what I would be greeted with the next time that door opened. 

~

You didn't stop for a single red light on your drive home. You couldn't stop. If you stopped, every thought going through your head would catch up to you.

Your mind was racing with memories of past lows and current anxieties. Anxieties that were easily pushed to aside when you were _you_. But right now, the mania demon was on your tail, and you knew it would chew you up and spit you back out when you finally reached the comfort of your own home.

You skidded into the parking lot and noticed a Jeep that looked suspiciously like your sister's driving the opposite direction. But there was no room for that concern to linger when there was so much else going on.

You didn't miss a single step as you raced up the stairwell to your floor. But after flinging the door open, you came to a halting stop.

Judd sat on your kitchen island. Calm as could be and looking straight at you. You knew that he knew. The cat was out of the bag and you felt like you were in trouble, like your parents had just caught you sneaking back in from a night out and now you had to answer for it. But you knew that wasn't true, you knew it was just your mind playing tricks.

You didn't know what to say to him, so he spoke first. Judd held out a glass dinner plate for you to take.

_"Just break it. It might make you feel better."_

You took a step toward him and held the plate in your hands. It's smooth texture felt nice against your shaking fingers. You looked down at it for a moment before releasing your grip.

It busted into a million pieces. You watched them scatter all throughout the floor. A single tear fell down your cheek and finally, you spoke in the tiniest of voices.

_"My floor.."_

Judd knew that this was the defining moment. He saw the light in your eyes go out and you became someone he didn't know. Someone so filled with sadness and anger and fear that it consumed them.

He hopped off the counter and pulled you into his arms, catching your body and lowering himself to the floor with you. You buried your face against his chest and he stroked your hair, _"I'm gonna clean it up, baby. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it."_

You sobbed while the two of you sat among the shards of glass. Gasping for breath and trying to make sense of why that plate - that single fucking plate - was the icing on the cake.

Judd scooped you up and walked you into your bedroom, laying you on the bed. He ran bath water while you sat on the edge of the mattress, face in your hands so that he couldn't see how red your skin had become.

He didn't speak when he came back into the room. He just unfolded your arms and gripped the bottom of your shirt, pulling it over you head gently. Eventually peeling off the last of your clothing along with his own. Your legs wouldn't be able to bare the weight of your body right now, so he picked you up again and lowered you into the warm water on top of him.

Your tears blended with the bath water until you couldn't cry anymore. Judd didn't push you, he didn't ask you to explain your emotions. He just stroked you back and scooped water over your exposed shoulder.

Eventually, most your thoughts calmed. You were left with a pounding headache but somehow, just being surrounded by the warm water, lying there with Judd, had pulled you out of self implosion. But the the thoughts that resided were the ones of fear.

Finally, Judd whispered with his chin rested against the top of your head, _"You know I meant what I said last night, right?"_

He couldn't utter the actual words again. Not until he knew how you felt in return.

And you _had _heard him in the den of his parents' house. You'd just figured he was talking in the moment. But now? There was no way he could still love you, not now.

_"Don't, Judd. You don't wanna love me."_

Visions of your mother leaving flashed in your head. Visions from when you were already going through terrifying changes, and then a divorce being thrown on top of it all. You were _so _much like your mom. It would make sense that you, too, would be incapable of loving someone permanently, right?

A silence had fallen over the two of you, but your thoughts spilled out of your mouth, _"What if I wake up twenty years down the road and just.. don't love you anymore?"_

_"Is that what she did?"_

Yep. Twenty something years, a seemingly perfect family and a lifetime of memories, right down the drain. You couldn't bare the thought of doing that to _anyone_, especially not Judd Birch. You simply nodded your head against his chest.

Judd grabbed you by the waist and sat you up on his torso, the water splashing and spilling over the edge of the bathtub.

_"I kill you, the kids, the dog and finally myself. Take us out just like I know the real you would've wanted - in a 20/20 special that everyone in America will tune in for."_

You rolled your eyes and couldn't help but to smile. In some sick sort of way, he really did know you. And you knew the parts of him that he'd never allowed anyone else to see.

You made a fake gagging face, _"You wanna have kids with me? Gross."_

Judd shrugged below you, _"Fuck no. I wanna practice _**_making _**_them with you, though."_

He sat up, finally face to face with you and stroking your cheek, _"And in between that I wanna just _**_be _**_with you, Cal. I don't care where we are, what we're doing.."_

His face inched closer to yours as he tried mustering up the courage to say the words again. Your hand snakes around his head and into his wet hair, waiting to hear what he had to say.

His green eyes held onto yours when they finally slipped out, _"Fuck, I love you, Cali."_

Curse words and all because just saying "I love you" didn't feel like enough. Your chest was on fire while you responded, wrapping your other arm around his shoulder, _"I fucking love you, Judd."_

His lips crashed against yours and he guided you back into the water, side by side. He pulled your leg over his hip just to feel as close to you as possible.

But that wasn't close enough. You made love again, surrounded by the porcelain tub until the water went cold. After that, Judd dried you off and carried you to the bed. Holding you while you napped off all of the secondhand worries that your mother had inflicted on you.

It was dark out when you woke up. Judd was gone but you could hear him struggling with something in the living room. So you threw on a pair of panties and loose t shirt, making your way down the hall to the dimly lit heart of your apartment.

_"What are you doin', babe?"_

You hadn't turned the corner yet but heard him yell, _"Wait, wait, stop! I'm almost finished, hold on!"_

After a few minutes you heard him hop up from what you presumed was his spot on the floor, grabbing you by the hand and leading you to the couch. He plopped a poorly wrapped Christmas present down on your lap.

_"What the hell, I thought we weren't doing gifts, dude?"_

Judd shrugged, _"Yeah, but I knew you'd like this. And I knew you wouldn't get it for yourself."_

A smile spread across your face as your reached underneath the sofa, pulling out a much better wrapped box, _"I fucking cracked, too."_

You begged him to go first, having spent weeks keeping his gift a secret. He finally obliged, tearing away at the paper.

Judd pulled out a lucky rabbit's foot. Well, more like an entire fucking leg. You knew he wouldn't know what it was, so you explained, _"Here, press down on the little toe!"_

His thumb clicked what he could now see was a button, and out shot a shining five inch blade. His lips curved up into a smile and his eyes shined with murderous joy as the blade reflected off of them.

_"Did you make this?? A lucky rabbit's foot switch blade?"_

You nodded and smiled, it was some of your best work. Judd kissed you on the head and nudged your gift with the tip of his knife.

You could tell just by feeling that it was glass, some sort of globe. You peeled away it's wrapping and your eyes went wide before it was even fully exposed, _"How did you get this??"_

He ignored your life of questioning, _"Finish opening your gift, babe."_

You hesitated to tear back the paper but resumed. It was a clear globe with a golden base, in it was fashioned a male Anna's hummingbird and a larger than average Luna moth.

_"Judd, this is illegal as _ ** _fuck_ ** _, do you understand that? Hummingbirds are a protected -"_

He had a grin of accomplishment on his face when he cut you off, _"Yeah, which is why I knew you'd never make it for yourself. Don't worry, when I found them both they were already dead. Your dad did all the dirty work, the animal police aren't gonna be busting down your door."_

Once he reassured you that he'd taken precautions, your heart filled with joy. It was so. fucking. beautiful. Judd leaned in to kiss your forehead as you traced the globe with your fingers.

_"Merry Christmas, babe. I love you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Joyous Yuletide!  
Let me know what you guys think in the comments, I always love hearing from you all!


	16. Trouble

You made it through the holidays without incident and soon, the New Year came. You and Judd spent it's eve getting tipsy on overpriced champagne and kissing way too much to count down with the people on TV.

But with the new year brought a new semester. New classes that neither of you had together. You were stuck with Composition, PhysEd and Oral Communication. Judd had been more lucky with his draw of the lottery, scoring U.S. Government, Calculus and Psychology. But your classes were on opposing days and with the work load, you were seeing each other less and less. Not by choice, he was still more or less living at your apartment. But on the days he didn't have class, you did. And on the days _you_ didn't have class, you had your business to keep up with. Still, every night, Judd held you and told you that this would pass.

And it _would _pass, but the lack of sex had you both on edge. A month into the semester had you snippy with each other, and it didn't help when Judd told you who he'd been assigned as his Psych partner.

_"Goldie? Are you serious? Your professor could've assigned you to anyone in the class and he just _ ** _happened _ ** _to pair you with your ex?"_

Judd rolled his eyes, _"She's not my fucking ex, Cal. She's my partner and it's just for one semester so _**_chill._**_"_

He'd waited to tell you until two weeks into the semester for this exact reason. Judd knew you'd be pissed, he knew you'd worry for no reason. He wasn't happy about the pairing either but upon asking his professor for a different partner, he was told to either deal with it or drop the class.

Now it was Valentine's Day. What should've been a night of romantic dinner catered by Judd's raccoons, followed by hours of experimental fucking turned into him telling you that his Psych class was holding an exhibition tonight.

You whined in exasperation, having already been dressed in a tight fitting, maroon dress that hung off your shoulders and left just enough to the imagination, _"This is the first date night we've had in a _**_month_**_, Judd. Is it really gonna kill you to miss one assignment?"_

He could see the frustration on your face. It was killing him inside, too, but working as little as possible with his partner was already effecting his grade. He gave way just a bit, wrapping his arm around your waist and falling victim to your pouty lips and puppy eyes.

_"I promise, it won't take long, babe. Come on - you might even enjoy it."_

You cocked a brow with question and he continued, leaning down to kiss your cheek sweetly, _"A dozen other people in a pitch black room with us. Conversing, going about their own business while I slide my hand up your dress.."_

That's all it took, the promise that you'd have his full attention for a single night. You sighed and slipped away from him, grabbing your black cardigan and pulling it over your shoulders before the two of you ventured out into the brisk February air.

You were making your way up the stairwell to his Psych class, _"What exactly is this experiment supposed to be?"_

Judd shrugged in front of you, _"You talk to a bunch of people you can't see and then take a questionnaire at the end to see if you knew who they were without actually being able to see them."_

It was simple enough. You entered the room and squeezed Judd's hand just a little bit tighter when you locked eyes with his partner - the girl whose name you still couldn't remember to save your life. She had a cheeky smile on her face that made you oddly suspicious of what she was thinking.

But those thoughts were interrupted by the professor slamming the classroom door behind him, _"All right students, if you brought a guest - separate! Lights are going out in 3 -"_

Judd released your hand and stepped away from you.

_"2 - 1 -"_

With the flip of a switch you were surrounded by complete darkness. You'd been instructed not to say any names, calling out for someone was permitted and would taint the results. So you held your hands out just a few inches from your body so you wouldn't bump into anything. Unfortunately, everyone else was doing the exact same. Your palms met strangers' chests and a few masculine fingers attempted to intertwine with yours before you pulled them away.

It was frustrating to say the least. Your hopes of messing around with exhibitionism were falling flat when you realized that without your most important sense, you were pretty much useless. So you struck up conversation through whispers with a nice girl who'd also been brought as a guest, talking about a whole lot of nothing just to pass the time until Judd found you.

After a while, the lights suddenly flipped back on. The harsh fluorescent lighting blinding you for a moment, and everyone else, until your eyes adjusted to their new found vision.

You scanned the room, observing everyone's expressions when they realized who they'd been standing in front of. It was entertaining. That is, until your eyes fell on a girl that was sitting at the edge of one of the tables across the room. It was Goldie. Her legs were parted just slightly, but the body perched between them is what caught your eye next. And when it did, a tiny bit of disappointment fell over your heart. It was Judd. His hands rested against the table on either side of her hips with his face much too close to hers for you to convince yourself that you were just seeing things.

That tiny bit of disappointment was followed by a blanket of cold, thick snow. An avalanche that pulled your heart so deep into the pit of your stomach that you felt it hit rock bottom.

In the same moment, Judd opened his eyes. Realizing that the person he'd been seconds away from groping _wasn't _his intended target.

_"What the -"_

But you didn't hear those words or see the confusion in Judd's eyes turn to absolute rage. All you saw was the door, you were inches away from it and seconds away from making a scene so you had to make a decision. So you had to make a decision, and quick - blow up and make an ass of yourself, or save yourself the embarrassment.

You chose the latter. Holding yourself together and pulling open the heavy door, calmly rushing down the stairwell. Judd heard the door click and looked over to see it standing wide open, realizing that now was not the time to berate the bitch that had fooled him. He chased after you, following you through the parking lot and calling your name.

_"Cali! Cal - That wasn't what it looked like in there!"_

You ignored him, making your way toward the sidewalk and fending off the mania demon that you felt on your heels. Judd grabbed you by the shoulders, whipping you around to face him just like he had at your car the first day you met.

_"Would you just fucking listen to me, Cal?!"_

Your eyes met his calmly, something he hadn't expected and you couldn't explain. You faced him arms crossed and allowed him to speak, _"Go ahead, I'm listening."_

_"She just.. in the dark, I thought she was you. She grabbed me, and I couldn't see anything -"_

You nodded, understanding his explanation. But a sort of numbness had fallen over you, like a backup setting that you'd subconsciously installed in your brain after the first time your heart had been broken.

_"We've been together for six months and you can't tell the difference between my body and someone else's?"_

Judd didn't have an explanation, but the carelessness in your voice told him it wasn't an open ended question anyways. He didn't know how to respond, and after a few moments of waiting, you turned back around.

But that wasn't enough for Judd, he gripped your wrist hard to stop you from walking away, _"Where are you going? If you have something to fuckin' say, Cal, you might as well just say it!"_

His burning hand against your freezing skin ignited a fire in your chest. You jerked it away and finally, briefly, lashed out with some sort of emotion.

_"What I'm _ ** _saying _ ** _is that maybe you're just some guy I've been wasting my time fucking the past six months!"_

You stepped back from him after the blow and could nearly _see _the insult hit him like a ton of bricks. It didn't bother you, you didn't regret what you'd said. A switch had flipped in your brain, one that almost felt joy in the thought of breaking his little heart.

That switch had only ever teetered in the middle of your two extremes, occasionally flipping down and thrusting you into the "lows" of your illness. But now.. now it was perched upright. You were falling into the "highs" that you'd never experienced before. Instead of feeling self destructive like usual, you wanted to destroy everyone around you.

Judd let you walk away. He watched you make your way down the cold, dark sidewalk - unsure of what would happen next.

~

But you knew exactly what would happen next and where you were going. You needed a strong drink and to be surrounded by people you didn't know. People who didn't know that this wasn't the real you.

You walked and walked until you reached a familiar little bar, one that you'd frequented in the weeks after moving to Bridgeton. You pulled out your fake I.D. with confidence, knowing the doorman and bartender wouldn't actually look at it.

The building was full of singletons, all spending Valentine's Day emotionally alone and hoping to find someone that wouldn't take care of them for the night. You ordered a whiskey sour and submerged yourself in the sea of bodies, nursing your drink while dancing with anyone and everyone that you could.

You kept finding yourself in the clutches of a silver haired girl. She wore ripped jeans and a fitted, striped shirt. You settled on her as your dancing partner and her hand went to the back on your neck, pulling your ear to her lips so you could hear her over the music.

_"My name's Blair."_

No part of you wanted to know anything about her. You were forming ill intentions of what you wanted to do with her, and they didn't include allowing her to get attached like Goldie had.

You responded bluntly, _"I don't care."_

You could feel her lips turn up into a smile against your ear as they met your hot skin. Allowing her to kiss your neck, everyone around you too preoccupied with their own potential hookups to notice either of you.

So why couldn't you shake the feeling of eyes on you front across the room? You glanced around to the front door, the smoking exit and the far wall. Nothing. Finally, your eyes scanned the bar. A somewhat familiar face locked eyes with you.

Val smirked when you noticed him watching you. He stood against the counter with his elbows resting on the wood grain finish. You were drawn to him, pulling your skin away from the girl's lips and stepping away from her without even saying goodbye.

You rested your empty glass and elbows against the counter beside Val, avoiding coming face to face with him.

_"You must have a damn good fakie for them to let you in _ ** _and _ ** _serve you."_

He took another swig out of the beer can and spoke in a cocky manner, _"It's the only bar in town and my dad just happens to own it."_

You'd seen the commercials, you knew how shady his family was.

_"Judd here?"_

You shook your head and paid for the second drink that the bartender slid you. Finally, Val turned his body to face yours, _"So your boyfriend's not here and you're entertaining lesbians in a dingy bar. Assuming you're not hunting for a third to bring home.."_

You turned your face toward him just in time to see his eyes taking in every inch of your tight dress before he continued, _"- what _**_are _**_you hunting for?"_

His eyes met yours and you smiled, feeling the demon fully overcome you, _"Just looking for some trouble."_


	17. Sedated

Val offered you a bump of coke and though it'd been months since you'd done it, you happily obliged. The rest of your time at the bar was a blur. You remembered his hand resting on your thigh as you sat up on a bar stool, next thing you knew - he was pulling you into the back seat of a yellow cab that he'd hailed. Hooking his arm around your waist before you could get settled into the seat and pulling you into his lap.

Your dress rode up from a combination of his hands and your straddling knees. Thank God for the long cardigan that you'd worn. It wasn't a long drive to the Bilzerian home, but Val was kissing you like he was pressed for time. His mouth crashed against yours like he just _knew _you were the last person he would ever be this close to.

As for you.. his eagerness was just feeding the demon that had taken over. She was hungry, starving even, and ready to eat up his poor, unsuspecting soul.

The cabbie came to an abrupt stop, _"Break it up, break it up!" _Shouting in his thick New Yorker accent, _"I know it's Valentine's Day but take it inside, lovebirds!"_

He was parked on the curb outside of the huge, dark house. Thunder rolled across the sky as Val tossed money at the driver like it didn't mean shit to him, following you out into the cold and leading you through the door.

You managed to make it through the house without either of his brothers catching sight of you. He slammed his bedroom door shut behind him and let go of your hand, moving toward the huge stereo underneath the window. You slid your cardigan off of your shoulders and stepped out of your shoes, taking in the strangers room around you.

Val's space was mostly bare. A full sized bed, tv on top of the dresser, a stereo and other belongings strewn everywhere. It was the typical teenage boy bedroom. Your observations were interrupted by Joey Ramone's belting vocals.

_Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go,_   
_I wanna be sedated_

You smirked, turning toward the window, _"Ramones.. nice."_

But you were met with Val marching toward you, pulling your face to his with as much vigor as he'd had in the back of the cab. You matched his enthusiasm, eating up his breathy moans as you bit his lip and raked through his hair with your fingers.

Val's red jacket and blue button down fell to the floor and he slipped out of his tennis shoes, pushing you back onto the bed. He admired you for a moment, the way your pale skin contrasted against the crimson fabric you were wearing. He'd dreamed about having his way with you ever since the Halloween party, the night that he'd caught more than just a glimpse of your ass.

You noticed his mind wandering and brought him back to Earth with a tugging hand at the bottom of his t-shirt. He snapped back to reality, sliding himself between your thighs and resting on top of you. You laid back against the mattress and melted into him.

But coke gives a quickly fleeting high and the _real _you, the one trapped beneath the surface, was gasping for air. You could feel the internal struggle. Val's hands roamed down your body and his mouth down your neck. You tried to close your eyes, to push it all to the back of your mind - but images of Judd still appeared even behind your eyelids. Memories of the two of you, the months you'd spent together and the love you'd made.

Val's was too preoccupied, he never noticed the turmoil you were experiencing beneath him. And even if he had, he wouldn't have cared. He slid his hand up your dress, pushing the fabric up your thighs and grinding himself between your legs. He growled low into your ear, speaking mostly to himself, _"Fuck, now I know why your boyfriend didn't wanna share.."_

Those words were like someone pulled the string to a lamp and the lights were now on. You could see again. You were _you _again. And you had this disgusting, dirty creature's limbs and lips all over your skin. Your body contracted, closing yourself off from Val and trying desperately to pull your dress back down over your exposed body.

_"Oh my god, what am I doing??"_

You slipped out from under his body, hurriedly pulling on your cardigan and grabbing your shoes. Val yelled after you, confused as to how you could change your mind so quickly, _"Hey! Where the fuck are you going??"_

You raced barefoot down the stairwell and flung open the door, pulling it shut tight behind you.

What you'd expected to be a breath of fresh air once you got out of that home wasn't so. It was dark, cold and to make matters worse, the sky had fallen. Thick, heavy raindrops hit your face as your naked feet stepped onto the freezing asphalt. But what could you do? You couldn't call Judd and ask him to pick you up from the person's house that you'd more or less just cheated on him with. Had you cheated? Were you broken up?   
You didn't have your car with you as you'd walked from the college to the bar. So you took another step. One aching foot in front of the other down the driveway and onto the sidewalk. Staring straight ahead and clutching your soaked cardigan around your body as you made the trek back to your apartment.

******* Judd's POV *******

_"What I'm _ ** _saying _ ** _is that maybe you're just some guy I've been wasting my time fucking the past six months!"_

She spat the words out of her mouth like she'd been aching to say them, they flowed so naturally. And the venom burned me to my absolute core. But I'd watched the light leave her eyes, her green irises turning a dark shade of black and I knew that this wasn't her. There couldn't actually be any truth to what she was saying, could there?

I watched her walk away until she turned the corner. The brief hollowness in my chest was soon filled with a deep, bubbling rage. I stormed back into the building, skipping half of the steps up to the classroom.

Students were leaving and my professor was packing up his notes, I saw that bitch pulling her bag over her shoulder. But she didn't see me. She didn't even notice that I'd come back into the room until my grip tightened around her wrist and I pulled her down the hallway.

She giggled, she thought this was a fucking joke, _"Finally ditched her, huh?"_

I turned the corner with her in tow, leading her into the dark bathroom that no one ever used, even during service hours. The cocky smile on her face quickly faded away when my grip on her wrist loosed. It was replaced with my forearm across her chest, holding her against the white wall with no where else to go. Finally, she could see the anger in my eyes.

I could've yelled, but then someone would've heard me. Instead I spoke low and stern through clenched teeth, _"Why."_

I wasn't asking her for answers, I was demanding them. Fear flooded her face as she searched for an answer that wouldn't throw gasoline on the flames.

She stuttered, _"I just - I thought that we -"_

My switchblade clicked at my side. The lucky rabbit's foot that Cal had plucked straight from the thigh itself and sharpened to perfection. I lifted it to her line of sight and saw her eyes well up with tears.

_"You thought _ ** _what_ ** _? That you'd pull some shit and we'd end up together? That her being out of the picture would make me realize my love for you?"_

Now I was just playing with her, like the cat holding the mouse's tail before taking a fatal bite out of its spine. I held the blade to her throat, _"Let me make this perfectly clear for the _**_last. fucking. time - _**_I can't fucking stand you. Cal can't stand you. That's why we _**_used _**_your sorry ass. And I swear to God, if you fucked things up for good with us.."_

I pressed the blade harder against her skin, resisting the urge to slice through it like butter, _"I'm coming for blood."_

I pulled back the knife and released my grip on her. She breathed a sigh of relief and the tears finally fell, I relished in them. Leaving her there to sulk in her own loneliness.

But where did I go from here? Where had _she _gone from here? All I could do was wait. Wait and hope that she'd want to talk it out in the morning. I loaded up in my truck and made the quiet journey back home. The home I hadn't slept at in weeks. Even when I had slept there, she was usually crawling into my bed right along with me. It was a view I'd taken for granted.

I thanked God when I got home and realized that no one was there. I could be alone with my thoughts. Or at least that's what I assumed. I leaned back in the chair at my desk, the room illuminated but just the small lamp in the corner. Going over the events of what happened and asking myself how. How in the **fuck **had I not realized that it wasn't her in the darkness. I'd touched every part of her body, inside and out, over and over again for the past six months. _How did I not know??_

That was when a green light appeared near my door, followed by a monstrous looking figure. Thinning hair, pencil mustache and elvish ears all strung up in a black cloak. My fingers rubbed my temples, _"Fffffuckkkk.."_

He spoke in an ear piercing, South African accent, _"Oh, but you _**_did _**_know.. Didn't you, Judd?"_

I tried to ignore him, having realized over the years that this was the best way to go.

_"I mean you said it yourself, you know her inside and out. That would be the only rational answer, right? That you _ ** _did _ ** _know, and you just wanted something.. different."_

I started pulling off my clothes, wanting just to get into bed and wake up with this all as a nightmare, _"Fuck no, how could I want something different? It was dark, I couldn't see anything -"_

_"And? You've been with her in the dark before, haven't you? And you've been with the other one, too."_

Fuck, he was good at his job.. was he right? Goldie was heavier than Cal and even a little taller, had I really known the whole time?

I laid down in bed and the Shame Wizard knew that his job was done. The room was darker again as he exited through the ceiling and I was left alone with my thoughts. 

******* End POVs *******

You gently shut the door to your apartment behind you. Rain water pooling around your feet as it dripped from your soaking wet clothes, hair, skin, everything. You dropped your shoes and shed the freezing cardigan that clung to your skin before taking a look around the room.

You were alone again. Just like you'd been when you first moved here. Just like you were every time you effectively pushed the people closest to you away.

Your back hit the door and you slid down to the floor, unable to cope with the emptiness and regret that you'd caused yourself. With your face buried in your hands, finally, you sobbed. Quietly and to yourself, allowing your palms to catch the flowing tears.

You sat there until your tear ducts ran dry, you couldn't cry any more and you head was pounding. In that moment, you should've felt more alone than ever. But instead, an ominous presence filled the room. A familiar one.

She purred in your ear, speaking in her deceiving, southern accent, _"Oh, sweetheart.. what have you done?"_

You sighed, rubbing your throbbing head as she wrapped her fluffy, purple tail around your cold, worn out body. She continued, _"You have a headache, sugar? How about we take a handful of Ibuprofen, 40 milligrams of melatonin, and drift off into a nice.. long.. slumber.."_

Her embrace was laced with bad intentions but felt so, so warm. You caved.

_"Yeah.. that sounds nice."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. We're one, MAYBE two chapters away from the finale. My heart is breaking because I've had such an awesome time writing this for you all.  
Please, please leave me some suggestions in the comments about what fic I should do next? I'm thinking Beast Boy x Reader or Val x Reader but let me know a few more suggestions!  
Love hearing from you guys. 💛


	18. A Simple Misunderstanding

Nick and Madison flinched as they heard the yelling of voices and slamming of doors from down the hallway. Moments passed before Leah reappeared in the doorframe, leaning against it with arms crossed against her chest.

_"Well that went exactly as I expected."_

The group had barely caught a glimpse of their respective siblings in the past week, ever since the incident, as they were now calling it. Elliot was having to force his son out of the house for classes and you had just stopped attending them all together. How could you possibly go to school when your bed offered so much comfort?

Madison rested her head back against Leah's bed, defeated,_ "What'd he say?"_

_"He yelled that if Cal wanted to be with him, she'd be with him. And that obviously she doesn't so we can all go fuck ourselves."_

Nick rubbed his head, all but looking forward to the future when he would be the one dealing with relationship troubles,_ "Have you talked to Cal? Has she said anything??"_

Madison knew what happened that night thanks to the grapevine, but you'd been ignoring her calls and texts. Everyone's attempt at contact, actually. She shook her head, "_Nope. Cal doesn't talk to anyone she doesn't want to when she retreats into herself like this."_

They were stumped, but they knew that time was of essence. Nick looked up at the teenagers that he considered much wiser than himself, at least in this realm, _"So.. what now?"_

The girls didn't respond. They racked their brains for ideas until, subtly, the vent above Leah's bed shuffled. The trio's brainstorming came to a halt as their attention shifted to the ceiling. They watched the grate shimmer loose and fall straight into Madison's lap, "_What the!"_

A little, furry bandit stuck his head out of the hole, a second one following.

_*Indistinct raccoon chatter*_

Madison looked at Leah, visibly confused as she didn't know a thing about Judd's raccoons, _"Are they.. talking to each other?"_

The animals climbed down from the ceiling, scurrying into the middle of Leah's bedroom floor. The teens watched as the 'coons put on an impromptu charades show.

Nick was working hard to decipher their code, _"I think they're.. I think they're coming up with a plan?"_

And they were. Judd was the only thing in the raccoons lives that offered them stability and discipline, they thought of him as a father figure. And without him, they'd been left to fend for themselves for the past week. Having become fat and spoiled, they were no match for the alpha 'coons of the wild. So they were working hard to think of a way to fix this.

After almost an hour of frustrating charades, finally, man and beast were on the same page. Nick had scribbled down the plan as he slowly deciphered it and the girls started working out the kinks.

Leah got on the raccoons level, _"I don't wanna put too much pressure on you guys, but this is probably our last chance.. you sure you're up for this?"_

_*Indistinct raccoon chatter*_

She laughed and smiled at the pair, _"All right, let's get to it then!"_

~

Judd heard a loud BANG! followed my a screeching squeal from his bedroom, he recognized that squeal.

Rushing out of his bedroom, he was followed by his siblings and your own as they chased him down the stairwell. The view was unsightly, his beloved baby was lying at the bottom of the stairs. Clinging to his packmate's fur as he screeched in pain, his little back leg twisted in ways that were impossible for him to perform naturally.

"_Ffffuckkkk!"_

Judd scooped his raccoon up in his arm, trying his best to be gentle while eying the second one suspiciously. The kids followed him and Leah made a hollow suggestion, "_Judd, you've gotta get him to a vet!"_

Judd knew that wasn't an option,_ "I can't take him to a fucking vet, Leah, owning a raccoon is illegal in New York!"_

Nick offered another suggestion, though unexpected, _"I guess we could.. put him down? That would be the humane thing to do, right?"_

The injured raccoons friend gasped, not realizing that Judd may very well make take that into consideration.

But Judd would never, tame raccoons were hard to come by and he'd already put too much time into domesticating _this_ one. Madison spoke up, "_Y'know.. Cal could probably take a look at him.. She's not a vet yet but she's done work on dozens of raccoons."_

It was the plan that the raccoons had come up with all on their own, they knew that this would be the only viable option. And being presented with it, Judd knew that as well. Though it pained him to be the first one to cave, he gathered his animals in his arms and carried them up to his room. Resting them on his bed while he made the awkward phone call.

The line rang. And rang. And rang.

Just as Judd was about to hang up, a sleepy voice greeted him on the other end of the line.

"_Hello?"_

Your voice still sounded like Gabriel's trumpet to him, but hearing it caused his heart to ache. Suddenly, he didn't know how to respond, Judd was at a loss for words.

You repeated yourself, _"Hello?"_

_"Uh.. hey. How's it.. going?"_

You didn't want to admit that it, in fact, wasn't going. You weren't going. You'd left your bed as little as possible the past week and you'd rather keep that detail to yourself. So you just responded with, "_It's going.. How's it go with you?"_

Judd considered just hanging up out of nervousness, but then he heard his little bandit crying quietly to himself and he knew he had to give in.

"_Not great.. listen, one of my raccoons. He's hurt - bad. I can't take him to a vet so it's either you look at him or I put him down."_

The thought of Judd having to kill one of his own raccoons, the only thing in his life that he loved more than you, brought a flood of emotion into you that you'd almost forgotten existed.

_"He looks really bad, Cal."_

You sighed and rubbed your unwashed face, rolling onto your back in bed, "_Yeah.. give me an hour or so."_

The two of you hung up without so much as a "goodbye", let alone an "I love you". You lay there, mentally preparing yourself for the journey that would be the outside world.

That familiar, southern accent filled your head, "_Don't go.. just tell him you can't make it, sugar."_

You brushed her off and sat up, throwing your legs over the edge of the mattress. Bending down to touch your toes, every joint in your body cracking in the process.

Your shower was the longest one you'd ever had in your life. Washing the buildup of grease from your hair and skin. Shaving your legs was like mowing the grass for the first time in spring. Though the warm water did make you feel a tiny bit better.

You packed up your gear, taking a brief look around the workshop. Realizing that you'd really neglected your work this past week and making a mental note to pick back up first thing tomorrow morning.

With a deep breath of air that filled your lungs, you started out the door. All concept of time was lost inside the apartment, but you were now realizing that it wasn't bright and early like you'd assumed. It was dinner time, what would usually be a beautiful orange and pink sunset was grey and clouded. Just like the night that you'd fucked everything up.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

It felt weird pounding on the Birch's door, having spent the last six months just letting yourself in. Diane had even made you a key for the nights you snuck in late and didn't want to wake anyone. But things were different now, you didn't feel like you belonged in this house anymore. Or anywhere but the solitude of your own bedroom, for that matter.

A few seconds passed before the door creaked open, he stood in the doorway.

"_Fuck.."_

You thought to yourself, how had you managed a whole week without seeing him? His hands were shoved in his pocket as he looked you up and down. Judd felt as if he were seeing a ghost, like you'd died and come back to life. All he wanted was to grab you and never let go.

But now wasn't the time for reconciliation, his baby was hurt, _"Come on, he's in my room.."_

You followed him up the stairs and into the bedroom that brought back a slew of memories. Thinking back to all the mornings you slept in after staying up too late watching movies, all the playful wrestling matches that turned into clothes being hastily pulled off. It was painful, but you swallowed the lump in your throat and leaned over the raccoon.

"_Jesus, you really did a number on your leg. Didn't ya, buddy?"_

Reaching out, you barely stroked his fur before he squealed in pain.

_"It's okay, I'm gonna give you a numbing shot and then make this all better.."_

At your command, Judd swiped his desk clean and dragged it to the middle of the room. You went through standard procedure, disinfecting the workspace and setting out every utensil you'd need. Judd laid him on the surface, illuminated by his bright desk lamp, and gently held down the creature while you punctured his skin with the syringe.

Judd watched you work, your fingers delicately pressing down on what would be considered the kneecap.

_"I don't think it's broken.. here -"_

You pressed your thumb hard against the joint, harder than you felt comfortable doing. Until..

_Pop!_

Right back into the socket, _"He just popped it out of place."_

Judd cut his eyes at the fiends speaking directly to them, _"You're telling me that you two were fucking faking - I could've shot you in the backyard just to save on time!"_

You felt up and down the 'coons leg, he still showed signs of extreme discomfort and pain.

_"He probably tore a ligament. Keep him rested up for a few days and fake a prescription for pain killers on your dad's Rx pad. He'll probably be okay - aside from the impending diabetes if he doesn't drop a few pounds."_

Judd scoffed at your jab, lightening the mood in the room enormously. Finally, your eyes met and the two of you caught each other smiling.

_"What are we doing, Cal?.."_

You diverted your gaze, slowly grabbing each of the instruments that you hadn't even needed. Stuffing them back into their packaging, _"I guess I'm just.. headed home."_

_"Why? You can't just stay here? You can't just talk to me? You're just.. done? After everything we've been through?"_

Fighting back tears, you started packing up quicker. Unable to own up to the betrayal Judd was still ignorant to.

_"Things are different now, Judd.."_

His brow furrowed in confusion,_ "What are you fuckin' talking about? We had a simple **misunderstanding**."_

_"No, **I** had a misunderstanding and **I** fucked up, dude."_

Judd grabbed your wrists against the desk, your palms gripping a scalpel and pair of incision tweezers, "_What the fuck are you talking about, babe?!"_

He was getting antsy, unable to stand being kept in the dark. The fact that you were holding back made him anxious at what you knew that he didn't.

He shook your hands and yelled, _"What is it?!"_

You shuttered at his raised voice. His intimidation forcing the truth out of you, _"I cheated on you!"_

The tears fell. One by one they rolled down your face. Big, fat tears that soaked the desk below you. Judd's grip on your wrists loosened and his voice got softer, unable to believe the words that had just come out of your mouth, _"... What?"_

Still refusing to look him in the eyes, you wiped your face and rushed to explain yourself, _"I didn't mean to - I just -"_

Interrupted by Judd's scoff of disbelief. Finally, your hazel eyes looked up into his. You prayed that there would be some sort of sympathy lingering in them, but all you were met with was apathy.

"_You know what, you're right - go home."_

He turned the corner of his desk and dragged his feet to the door, pulling it open and standing aside. Waiting for the opportunity to slam it behind you.

You shoved the remainder of the tools into your bag and turned in the door frame, readying to beg for his forgiveness, "_Judd, please.."_

But the scowl on his face that had somewhat softened over time was drawing his lips into a hard frown.

_"I said - Go. Home. Cal."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS. ONE. MORE. FUCKING. CHAPTER.   
Next Sunday will be the last chapter of this story and my heart can't take it.   
Leave me some comments, I love hearing from you guys. Let me know what character x reader stories you want me to write next.


	19. The Darkness - The End

You turned your back and stepped into the hallway, the loud slamming of his door echoing in your ears as you stared down the flight of steps. You thought about how it would be so easy to just.. fall down them.

Rushing out the front door and into the stinging, sharp raindrops that were falling from the sky. They mimicked the dagger that had been plunged up through your rib cage, right into your heart. Fumbling through your bag for your keys, when you finally found them - they slipped right through your wet fingers, hitting the pavement at your feet.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. You leaned your face against the window, considering bashing your own fucked up head in right there.

Instead, you lashed out at your inability to control your own fucking illness. You were angry, ashamed that you'd given in to the demon's persistence. You leaned over, grabbing the steel monkey fist on your keychain. Rolling it around in your fingers while turning the corner at the front of your vehicle, staring forward at your own reflection.

Your hand swung forward, the monkey fist meeting your windshield with a loud _Crack!_

That outburst, it was better than any stiff drink. More satisfying than any hate fuck you'd ever given or received. The windshield was thick, but it was scarred with a single crack that extended upwards toward the top of the glass. You reached back and swung again. And again. Until the spiderweb cracks merged together.

In the end, all you were left with was a shattered windshield that had brought a quickly fleeting sense of relief. That, and a bloody hand from the tiny shards of glass that had met your skin during the outburst. You looked down at your trembling fingers, watching the blood drip onto the hood of your car. Mixing and mingling with the cold rain.

You thrust your body into the driver's seat and threw it into drive. Turning up the radio and slapping your face, rushing to escape the self destructive thoughts that were filling your head.

But the dark interior was soon lit up green in your back seat, complimenting the violet figure that sat shotgun beside you. The Depression Kitty and Shame Wizard were here to tag team.

_"Oh, you pathetic little _ ** _slut_ ** _... Why would he want to hear your excuses?"_

You focused on the road, trying to push his words to the back of your mind. But she went in on you, too, _"He's right, darlin'. You fucked up, cheating on the only person that could _**_ever _**_love you unconditionally.."_

You wiped the tears from your face, effectively coating your skin in the blood from your hand. Turning up the music on the radio in an attempt to drown out the truth they spoke.

_My words disappear on a dry tongue_   
_And I am trying to let you know it_   
_But I am drowning by the moment_

It didn't work. Their words echoed in your ears.

_"You're just a dirty little cheater! Just like your mother!"_

_"No one will ever put up with your issues like he did, sweetheart.."_

The tears blurred your vision and your window wipers just couldn't move fast enough to wash away the water. Not that it would've mattered, the cracks in your windshield blocked out what little light reached the road in front of you anyways.

It was all so much. Your racing thoughts, their harsh words, the storm brewing around you. You lashed out, screaming at the top of your lungs.

_"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEADDDD!!"_

Suddenly, you felt The Depression Kitty's paws gazing over your own hands, her sultry voice whispering low into your ear, _"All you have to do is let go, love.. and we'll be gone forever."_

You bit your lip hard, sliding your hands from the wheel and allowing them to drop into your lap. 

It all happened in slow motion. Like an out-of-body experience, you were watching from the outside as your car slowly drifted off the slick road. You stared at the tree in your path and clenched your eyes shut just before your car met nature. No tensing up, no bracing for impact, and no seatbelt. There was a brief tinge of pain that shot through your head, followed by a rush of endorphins as the green light faded from inside your car. You were left with the small amount of light from sparse street lamps, and soon, even that faded to black as the music still playing on the radio lulled you to sleep.

_Think slowly, try to remember I'm alive_   
_My body is here and I am inside_   
_Think slowly, try to remember I'm alive_   
_My body is here and I am inside_

******* Judd's POV *******

I watched her destroying her car, her most prized possession, from my bedroom window. I could see the thick, crimson streaks flowing down her arm. Should I do something? I didn't know. Maybe she deserved to break down and realize what she'd done to me.

But then I saw her fly down the road and all of the heartbreak that filled my chest was replaced by a rushing sense of worry. For some reason, I still had that animalistic instinct to protect her. And I was sure that she still had that negligent habit of not strapping in before driving off.

_"Ffffuck.."_

I skipped half the steps on my way down, leaving the door ajar as I threw myself into my truck and chased after her. Barely able to see through the thick layer of water that grew despite my windshield wipers working overtime.

Finally, I caught up to her. She was swerving but gaining speed, I couldn't gain enough leverage to cut her off. So I laid on my horn, flashing my lights, _anything _that I thought would convince her to pull over.

At some point, I thought my desperate attempts for her to notice me had proven fruitful. Her car started pulling to the side of the road and I breathed a sigh of relief.

That sigh of relief soon turned into me holding my breath. Realizing that she wasn't pulling over, she was drifting. Gaining speed but losing traction on the flooded asphalt.

_"Fuck, fuck, fuck! No, Cal!"_

Her car met a tree and I heard the loud crunch that came with it. There was no skidding of brakes or attempt to turn the wheel. My heart stopped as my fists met my steering wheel, over and over again.

I slid my car into the grass a couple of yards in front of hers and dialed 9-1-1, _"Emergency Services, what's the location of your emergency?"_

_"I don't know! I can't fucking see, my girlfriend just ran her car into a god damn tree!"_

The dispatcher's next words haunted me, I didn't know how to answer her, _"Was this an accident or a suicide attempt?"_

_"I don't.. I don't know."_

I ran to her, trying to pull her door open but it was lodged shut. Wiping the water from the window, I peered inside desperately. I could see the blood dripping from her head and her eyes rolling back.

_"God damnit, she's bleeding bad and I CAN'T GET THE FUCKING DOOR OPEN!!"_

I'd never felt so fucking useless in my entire goddamn life, just watching the blood pour down her face and over her throat. I dropped my phone and tried everything to bust that window - my fists, elbows and rocks. It wouldn't give.

The brief moments that it took responders to get there felt like eternities. A pair of officers holding me back while firefighters pried open the door, stabilizing her neck before pulling her limp body out of the car.

_"She's got a pulse, run emergency traffic!"_

Those were the most beautiful words I'd ever heard. They strapped her to the stretcher and loaded her into the back of an ambulance. The cops let me go, _"Bridgeton Memorial, follow the ambulance!"_

It wasn't even a struggle to keep up with the truck, my steel foot was pressing the gas peddle to the floorboard the entire drive. What _was _a struggle was being told I had to stay in the waiting room while they ran tests.

I was in there for hours, surrounded by people that had come there for menial issues. A fucking runny nose, an earache. It **pissed **me off to know that they thought those "problems" were emergency room worthy. All the while, I was being kept in the dark about whether or not she would even fucking make it through the night. And what if she did? Would things change? Did I _want_ things to change?

It was nerve wracking, those next few hours. I had a lot of time to think. But finally, a pair of nurse's shoes came into sight as I stared at the tiled hospital floor. 

******* End POVs *******

Judd was shown into your hospital room, relieved to only see you with a nasal oxygen tube, blood pressure cuff and pain killer IV. He'd expected so, so much worse.

He pulled a seat up beside you and gripped your hand, brushing the dark blue wound that bordered your hairline.

_"Fucking hell, babe.."_

To his surprise, you winced when his fingers met your skin. The sudden jolt of pain stirring you awake. Slowly, your eyes adjusted to the bright light in the room. Your voice was hoarse, but you spoke, _"Judd?.."_

Judd's heart pounded in his chest, it took everything in him not to let his emotions get the better of him.

_"Yeah, baby, I'm here. Just go back to sleep."_

He knew you needed rest. But your eyes were seeing clearly now, The Depression Kitty and Shame Wizard weren't clouding your head anymore and you just needed to get this weight off of your shoulders.

_"I'm so fucking sorry. God, I'm so sor-"_

He cut you off, _"Stop. We don't have to talk about this right now, and there's nothing to apologize for anyways."_

You would've been sobbing if it weren't for the pain killers, they'd dried up your tear ducts and left you with just a quivering lip, _"Dude, I should've just brushed off what happened last week. I shouldn't have made out with Val. Fuck, I should've just went home!"_

_"Wait, wait, wait.. all you did was _ ** _make out_ ** _ with him?"_

Judd was rushing to find some clarity in this whole situation. And while he was annoyed that _Val _had been the one to taste your lips, he was confused as to why you were beating yourself up over a make out session.

_"Yeah.. I went to his house and, god.. I just felt so fucking gross when he touched me. I swear, I didn't sleep with him, Judd."_

A chuckle slipped past Judd's lips, throwing you off guard. You looked up and noticed the softness had returned to his face.

_"What are you laughing at?"_

Judd leaned back in his chair with the hint of a smile on his face, _"So.. you gave him what was probably the best ten minutes of his life, gave him blue balls, and then crushed his soul.."_

You hadn't thought of it like that, you'd only seen it as cheating, _"I mean, I guess?.."_

_"That's not cheating, dude. That's fucking savage."_

You were in disbelief, but Judd kept going, _"I've been trying to figure out how to get revenge on Val since he pulled that shit on Halloween. _**_Fuck_**_, he's gonna wonder for the rest of his life what he missed out on."_

Judd was beside himself, it was the perfect revenge. Even if it hadn't been your original purpose, Judd knew that Val would compare every other girl in his life to _you. _He knew because he did that himself, comparing you to girls on the street, female classmates and porn stars. They might be hot, but they were just.. missing something. At least he got to go to bed with that something every night, Val would search forever for someone to fill that void.

You tried to talk some sense into Judd, _"I _**_cheated _**_on you, Judd. You understand that, right?"_

_"Did you though? We were pretty much broken up, and even if you did - it was a fucking make out session. Who gives a fuck?"_

Fuck it. If he was able to move past it, so were you. Who were you to decide what he considered breakup-worthy anyways?

Judd scooted the chair away from your hospital bed, flipping the harsh fluorescent lights off to give your tired eyes some relief. You watched him kick his shoes off through the darkness, _"What are you doing?"_

He pulled his shirt over his head and stepped out of his jeans, approaching the side of the bed that was free of wires.

_"Make room, loser. I'm not leaving until you do and I'm _ ** _not _ ** _sleeping without you again. Even if it does mean we have to squeeze into this tiny ass bed."_

You pulled the sheet down and slowly shuffled to the side, suddenly aware of how sore every inch of your body was. But you couldn't complain, it could've been much worse. A concussion, busted head and a few broken ribs were better than the alternative - death.

Judd slid under the cover and gently wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to his chest. He breathed in your scent - sweet, raw honey, like always.

You had to express one last thing that was tugging at the back of your mind, _"Judd.. that wasn't, like, an attempt at my life. Just so you know.. I just had too much going on in my head."_

_"It's a good thing. Because if you ever die out of pure stupidity, I'll fucking kill your ghost."_

You smiled against his bare skin and kissed his chest, running your hands through the thick hair between his waistband and bellybutton.

Judd brushed your hair softly and kissed your head, _"Seriously though, babe.. I fucking love you. I think I'll always fucking love you."_

You looked up at him, his emerald eyes shined through the darkness that surrounded you. Realizing that maybe the darkness wasn't the best state of mind to be in, but having him there sure made it a hell of a lot more bearable.

_"I fucking love you too, Judd."_

He pulled you in for one last heart stopping kiss, holding your face in his hands. Relishing in what he'd almost lost. Judd savored your steady breathing and counted your heartbeats that thumped in time with his until he, too, was lulled to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it guys. That's the end.  
OR IS IT?!  
That's right! Tune in Sunday for another Jay Bilzerian Special!  
But no, this is the end as far as this story line goes. I've loved writing this and appreciate all of you that have enjoyed it with me. I'd also really love some comments telling me what you thought of the story overall, or just sobbing with me, it's up to you.  
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH 💙💜


	20. Black Magic Woman - Jay Bilzerian Special

***** Warning - Long Chapter *****  
***** ** ** Explicit Content!!! ** ** *****

** _Saturday, January 2nd, 2027. _ **   
** _7 years later._ **

Jay sat alone in the dimly lit, hazy lounge. A few rows back from the stage while men in suits and topless waitresses went about their business, both biblical and professional, without bothering to take notice in him.

In laments terms, it was a strip club. But he wasn't there for a show. Jay found himself there shortly after making his big move to New York City. Relocating in hopes of making it as big as David Copperfield or Siegfried and Roy. But The Big Apple wasn't Sin City, and he was finding his dreams difficult to achieve.

So he nursed his whiskey on the rocks, watching the ice float around in the caramel colored liquid. Down on his luck, living out of his car and praying that all of this trouble would be worth it some day.

Jay hadn't been paying attention to the strip show before him. It wouldn't do anything for him, anyways. None of these performers got fully nude and even if they did, Jay had grown bored of porn and meaningless sex shortly after graduating high school. He'd only come to this place because he'd heard it was where all of the aspiring performers in the city went.

But a familiar tune did pique his interest. He looked up from his glass, eyeing the stage that was now lit up with royal purple and golden lights. The next dancer posed in the shadow, only her silhouette making its appearance so far.

When the artist of the track started singing, he immediately knew why he recognized the song. It was a slowed down, sultry cover of _Black Magic Woman. _Sang by a female and recorded in a manner than perfectly fit the venue it was being used in.

The woman on stage swayed her hips, rocking them gently back and forth until she reached the silver pole in the middle of the stage. The lights shifted to illuminate her figure. Bare feet that were covered by sheer, shimmering tights. He followed her legs up to the black, high hipped, low cut leotard that hugged her curves perfectly. The garment was laced with thousands of tiny Swarovski crystals.

Jay stood and approached the stage, watching the dancer's precise fingers grip the pole. Bending at the waist, she started her routine. Moving slow and whimsically along with the music.

He was completely enchanted with this woman, it was as if she'd chosen this song completely for him. She turned her back to the now forming crowd, slithering down onto her knees like a snake and arching her smooth body back. Long, green locks of hair falling like waves across the stage.

_"Wait.."_

Jay whispered to himself as the dancer locked eyes with him. Her glossy lips mouthing along with the song. He recognized those lips, that hair.

_"Are you.."_

His hand impulsively inched out in front of him before being smacked away by a bouncer, _"Keep your hands to yourself, buddy."_

The whiskey he'd been sipping hadn't come close to intoxicating him like this woman was. He stared in awe, the crystals on her outfit reflecting off of his wide eyes as she glided around the pole.

He was in heaven. Absolute heaven, that is until the music stopped. The stage went dark and an eruption of whoo's and whistles ensued behind him. Money was tossed onto the dance floor as she made her exit.

Jay was star struck. He turned around and made his way back to the oversized lounge chair he'd left minutes prior, wondering if he'd really seen what he thought he'd seen. He stuck around, eyeing the stage and every waitress that walked by - hoping that he could catch another glimpse of _her_.

Just as he started to lose hope, he felt a hand stroke his shoulder from behind. Fingernails lightly raking from one side of his back to the other as the familiar figure turned the corner of the chair.

She made herself at home across his lap, resting one arm behind his back and the other on the crook of his neck. Jay's heart stopped.

_"Well if it isn't Houdini himself.. back from the dead."_

His eyes **hadn't **deceived him. She leaned her lips down towards the side of his face and for a moment, Jay thought she was going to greet him with a kiss.

_"Put your arms around my waist. My boss is watching, I have to pretend like I'm trying to sell you a lap dance."_

Jay did as he was told and wrapped one arm around the curve of her waist, resting the other on her top thigh. The position of their hands may have been for show, but the wide smile that had grown on his face was 100% real. And when she pulled herself back up to face him, she had the same mischievous aura about her that he remembered from his childhood.

_"Madison? Is this fucking real?"_

She grinned down at him, showing off her pearly whites, _"In the flesh. What are you doing on my side of town, Bilzerian?"_

_"Oh, you know.. just livin' the dream."_

She could tell something was off. Madison and Jay hadn't connected intimately over the years. They'd remained friends and had spent a few late nights on the phone when one of them was feeling lonely. But ultimately, life happened. Jay had to explore his sexuality and she had to start paying attention to her college courses.

_"Aren't we all. Made it big yet?"_

Jay rolled his eyes, _"If you call living out of my car 'making it big', absolutely."_

Having known about Jay's childhood, the thought of things somehow getting _worse _for him hurt Madison's heart just a little.

She knew her time was limited. They had a private bachelor party coming in soon and if she let him slip out the door before then, she may never get her chance. So she ran her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck, _"Well it's probably not as comfy as the back seat of your car, but I've got a decent pull out couch just waiting to be slept on. What are you doing later?"_

Jay tried his best to look like his heart _wasn't _beating a thousand miles a minute. Still, she felt his hand on her thigh squeeze just a tad bit tighter.

_"You sure? I wouldn't wanna impose.."_

Madison cut him off, _"I offered, you're not imposing anything."_

She slipped a laminated card into his vest pocket, _"I get off at 4. Just come to the back door, give them this and tell them you're my chaperone for the night."_

There was a loud hoop and holler behind them as a group of already drunk, rowdy men entered the room. Another dancer yelled her name, _"Maddy, come on!"_

She made a slightly disgusted face at the men before turning her attention back to Jay, _"Get outta here. You don't wanna see this shit, dude."_

Jay loosened his grip on her thigh and she slid off of his lap. His eyes never once leaving her shimmering legs as she strolled away.

**Four hours later**

Jay struggled to keep himself preoccupied while he waited for the clock to strike four. He grabbed a bite to eat, showered at the local YMCA and, "just in case", jerked off in a handicapped bathroom. **If **he got lucky, couldn't chance blowing his load in the first five minutes with the girl that he had wet dreams about for six months after their one date together.

Finally, the bars let out and Madison's shift was coming to an end. Jay slipped into the dark alley beside the building, making his way around the back where an array of foreign cars sat - filled with men waiting for their dates for the evening.

He handed the beefy man at the door the lament, _"I'm, uh.. here to pick up Maddy?"_

The doorman sized Jay up, probably wondering the same thing that he himself was. Why was this young guy that just walked in from the alley picking up _her_? She could be riding off into the night in any of these cars, with any of these men that obviously had _much _more going for them than Jay did.

Still, the man opened the door and yelled behind him, _"Maddy! Pickup's here!"_

He heard the shuffling of items and dashing of footsteps before watching her body appear in the doorway, ducking under the man's arm and entering the cold January air.

She'd shed her twinkling leotard that had left little to Jay's imagination and changed into an oversized grey hoodie, distressed black jeans and white tennis shoes.

_"Ready? My place is only a few blocks away."_

Her arms were tucked tightly into her pockets. Jay followed her through the alleyway and back onto the illuminated Manhattan sidewalk.

_"Are you not fucking freezing?"_

She thought about it for a moment and cocked an eyebrow at him, _"You're right." _Pulling his arm over her shoulder and wrapping hers around his back. She was feeling much warmer already and Jay could feel every inch of his body heating up with nervousness.

They soon approached the high rise building. Tribeca Towers. Jay had stared up at the building time and time again, dreaming of what it would be like to live there. She swiped them in with her key card and they rode the elevator up to her apartment.

Twenty-four stories up and all the way at the end of the hall, they entered through the keyless door. Jay stood in awe of her corner apartment. He approached the floor to ceiling windows and stared out over the city.

_"God.. how do you afford this??"_

Just as he turned around to face Madison, she was pulling a thick wad of cash out of her hoodie pocket.

_"People that make too much money loooove to blow it on strippers and coke." _She grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, tossing one to Jay and lifting herself up onto the granite countertop, _"Selling drugs holds too much liability, but I'll take my clothes off for a couple grand any day."_

_This _was the Madison that he remembered. Comfortable and charming, those were the characteristics that had caused him to fall so hard for her when they were just kids.

Jay couldn't help but to feel somewhat nostalgic looking at her. She had the same playful twinkle in her eyes as always when he approached her in the kitchenette.

He reached his hand up to itch the back of his neck nervously, _"So do you bring home customers every night or.. just the ones you recognize?"_

Her lips parted and turned up into a smile, _"It's weird, I actually only invite over 40-year-old magicians that own white Rolexes."_

Finally, Madison watched the nervousness fall off of Jay. He grinned from ear to ear, _"Fuck, it's so good to see you, Maddy..."_

_"It's great to see you too, Jay." _She hopped off the table, _"Hey, remember this?"_

Madison made her way to a vintage record chest in the corner of the living room. Shuffling through vinyl albums until she found the one that brought back a wave of memories. She popped the disk on and moved the needle to just the perfect spot.

Jay hid his face in his palm for a moment to hide his laughter, the sweet sound of Mick Jagger's voice filling the room.

_Childhood living is easy to do_   
_The things you wanted, I bought them for you_   
_Graceless lady, you know who I am_   
_You know I can't let you slide through my hands_

Jay mustered up the courage to extend his hand, _"So... about that dance?"_

He echoed the words that he'd said to her seven years ago and she echoed her own back, _"You _**_do _**_remember."_

The two of them met in the middle of her cozy living room. Madison slipping into Jay's arms, Jay placing his hands delicately around her waist.

Jay was studying her features up close for the first time in seven long years. She looked the exact same. Her hips were fuller and body more toned, but she'd refused to let the stress of school and work age her over the years.

Madison wrapped her arms around the back of Jay's neck, tracing his skin with her nails. Effectively sending a chill up his spine. She rested her head on his chest, swaying back and forth with him to the music.

_"You were off by a year, you know."_

Her face turned up to his, she bared a confused expression, _"What do you mean?"_

Maybe she _didn't _remember as much about that night as he did.

_"You said we'd reconnect after six years. You were a year late."_

Madison chuckled, rolling her eyes and suddenly remembering what she'd said, _"Yeah, but I was right about one thing."_

Jay cocked an eye brow at her, feeling his heartbeat thump in his chest as he noticed their faces inching closer together.

One of her hands moved to the side of his face, stroking his strong jawline, _"I told you we'd make magic together, didn't I?"_

He leaned his forehead against hers, now feeling her warm, sweet breath against his mouth. Accidentally speaking his thoughts aloud, _"Holy shit.."_

Every atom of Jay's body was on fire. He'd impulsively tightened his grip on her hips. But Madison knew that he wasn't going to make the next move unless she ordered him to.

She whispered against his lips, _"Just fucking kiss me, Jay."_

He didn't need further instruction. His lips hit hers and fireworks went off in both of their heads, they melted into each other's arms. Jay's tongue begged her lips for entry and she obliged.

Their kiss quickly took a turn from being mind blowing and slow, to passionate and eager. Jay pulled her hips with him and took a seat on the couch behind him. Madison laughed against his lips and she stumbled forward, landing on top of him.

She straddled Jay's lap, slowly rocking her core against the bulge that was growing in his jeans. His hands roamed every dip and curve in her form, just like he'd always dreamed of doing.

Finally, her persistent grinding erected a low moan from Jay's throat. Madison's heart turning to jelly over that single moan.

Little did Jay know, Madison had also spent years wondering what could've been. For every bad date she went on, every guy that turned out to be prick, she'd always thought to herself, _"Jay would've never done this to me."_

It would've been wrong for her to take advantage of him like that as a child. But now - now she knew that Jay was a man.

As that moan escaped his throat he finally gained the confidence that he'd lacked as a thirteen-year-old. Jay pulled away from her lips for just long enough to slip out a few labored words, _"Fucking.. shit. You're gonna make me cum in my pants like I'm a fucking teenager again."_

While Madison adored his suddenly loose lips, she wasn't going to give him what he wanted without hearing him ask for it.

She sat up, slowing her rocking hips even slower but pressing her warm center harder against him. Holding his face in her hands before speaking, _"No, I'm not.. tell me what you want, Jay."_

He took notice of the hunger that had grown in her eyes. Jay slid his fingers through her hair and gripped her ass, pulling himself up until her chest pressed firmly against his. Growling out his words as he reciprocated her lustful gaze, _"I'm gonna fuck you like I should have back in Bridgeton."_

A cocky smile spread across Madison's face and she nodded behind them, _"My room's that way."_

Their lips locked again and Jay lifted her body with his own. Her legs wrapping around his waist for dear life until she was dropped onto the mattress.

Jay was ready to eat her alive. He grabbed the hem of her leggings and tugged it over her hips. Madison lifted her waist, holding eye contact with him while biting her bottom lip.

He made sure to run his fingertips over every inch of her silky legs while sliding off her tights. Moving slowly, savoring the details of her body in case this would be his only night with her.

Jay planted tiny kisses up her thighs and she rested a leg over his shoulder. But just before his mouth met her sex, they diverted. He rest his lips on her mons and gazed up at her slyly.

_"What?"_

Jay wanted to play her game, he wanted her to spell out for him what she wanted, _"Tell me what you want, baby."_

If it were anyone else resting between her legs, she would've refused. But looking down at him, she could tell that he needed this just as bad as she did. So she brushed her fingers through his hair, ready to guide his face where it needed to go and spoke in the sweetest of voices, _"I want you to taste me, Jay.."_

He dove into her pussy, dragging his tongue from her warm center up to her sensitive clit. She rolled her head back against the pillow, relishing in the feeling.

Jay teased her with his mouth, slowly delving between her lips and barely lapping at her clit. Finally, she tightened her grip on his hair and lifted his face from between her thighs. She spoke to him through gritted teeth of frustration, _"You're fucking killing me, stop teasing."_

He pushed himself up off of the bed, _"Oh fuck no. I've dreamed about this for years."_

Jay pulled his shirt over his head and pulled his belt off with a _snap!_

He stood just off the edge, motioning for her to come closer with a curled up finger. She knew what he wanted, hastily flipping over so she was facing him on her hands and knees. Crawling towards him like a kitten being served a warm bowl of milk.

She kissed him through his jeans before fishing his stiff member out. Looking up at him with doe eyes while holding him in her hands. She let spit fall from her pouty lips, using it at lubricant to stroke him up and down before lapping at the head.

A string of curse words flowed from Jay's mouth, _"Ffucking.. shhhit, Maddy."_

She loved the way he moaned her name, it brought her a sort of satisfaction that doing this to strangers never could.

Running her tongue up the thick vein on the underside on his cock, Jay knew he couldn't take much of her sweet tongue without blowing his load. So he weaved his fingers through her hair and gently guided her throat down over his shaft. She expertly took every inch of him, burying her nose against his thick pubic hair.

He held her there for a moment, eyes rolling in back from pure pleasure. And when he finally released, his cock emerged from her throat covered in spit and she gasped for air. Her beautiful face flushed, tears in her eyes from holding her breath for so long.

Jay rushed to step out of his remaining clothes and Maddy tossed her hoodie over her head. She pulled him to her roughly, kissing him hard and falling back into the bed with him on top of her.

They rolled around in the sheets, enjoying the friction that their bodies created. That is, until Jay's hand hooked behind her knee, holding her open as he slid himself up and down her slit.

Jay watched the playfulness drain from her face, replaced by pure need.

He wanted to _see _her when it happened, _"Is this what you want?"_

She nodded, biting her lip and digging her nails into his ass. He couldn't hold back any longer. Jay slid himself inside her to the hilt, watching her mouth open and let out the most beautiful moan all the while.

He couldn't help but to smile down at her, completely in disbelief that he could be bringing a creature like _her _to her knees.

Jay rocked in and out of her slowly until he felt she had adjusted.

_"God, more. I need more, Jay."_

He gripped the top of the headboard with one hand and held her leg back with the other, crashing into her over and over. The sound their bodies made hitting each other was music to her ears and would soon push her over the edge.

Jay savored every moment inside her, her muscles milking him for all he was worth. He tried his hardest to hold back, but when he felt her leg trembling in his palm, he knew he was doomed.

Maddy back arched below him, pushing her bare chest against him. She gripped his back and squeezed her legs around his waist as her orgasm rolled over her.

The pants and moans coming from her lips drove Jay insane. The moment her walls stopped contracting and she seemed to be catching her breath, he looked down at her desperately.

Jay had been with his fair share of partners, but he lacked emotional connection before now. After all he'd been through growing up, he still needed reassurance.

But Maddy knew this, she sensed it in the way he looked at her. So she guided his face down to hers and whispered encouraging words against his lips, _"Cum for me, baby."_

He nodded before planting his lips against hers. Kissing her hard while he slipped his cock out of her and into his hand, cum spilling onto her stomach as he moaned into her mouth.

After a moment, their lips parted and Jay rest his forehead against hers. Rapidly taking in breaths as he gasped for air. He felt his body shutter one last time before whispering to himself, _"Jesus fffucking Christ.."_

Maddy slipped out from under his sweaty, toned arms, grabbing a rag from her closet and cleaning herself up before tossing it to him.

Jay felt a hint of sadness fall over him as he watched her pull a loose t-shirt over her beautiful skin. Though he'd dreamed of what had just became reality, he was coming to the realization that now it was all over. He'd walk out that door and who knows how long it would be before he saw her again.

He cleaned himself off and pulled on his boxers, slowly placing each leg into his jeans as to savor what it felt like just to be in her presence.

Maddy plopped herself back onto the bed, noticing that Jay was half clothed, _"You're leaving?"_

Her voice sounded.. disappointed.

_"Oh, I just thought.. that you'd want me to."_

She turned down the blankets and shook her head, _"I told you that you could crash on my couch, Bilzerian. But truthfully, my bed is a lot more comfortable."_

From that point forward, Maddy had Jay in a straight jacket that he didn't want to escape from.

** _FOUR MONTHS LATER_ **

Jay stood outside of Cornell University with his new, adopted family - Cali, Judd and Leah.

Cal miserably held her big, round belly. Scowling just the same as Judd only until she set her sight on her not so little sister, _"There she is!"_

Jay's face lit up. It never failed, watching her walk toward him would always be the most magical part of his life. He spun Maddy around in his arms, her graduation gown catching wind around her thighs.

_"What, no flowers?"_

He waved his hands, a full bouquet of sunflowers emerging from his sleeve, _"I could only fit a dozen up my sleeve -"_

She cut off his excuse with a kiss on the lips and the other rolled their eyes.

Leah caught Maddy's arm as the couple parted, _"Alright, share the love, girl!"_

The two embraced, it'd been almost a full year since Maddy had seen her best friend.

Finally, she turned to her sister. Placing her hand on her belly, _"Jesus, how long until you burst, dude?"_

Cal sighed, _"Another fucking month." _She side eyed Judd who stood with his arm protectively over her shoulder, _"Seven whole years without so much as a scare. Judd talks me into doing it raw ONCE - and this is what I fucking end up with. I'm a goddamn whale."_

Judd held his tongue, leaning down to kiss his fiancé on the head, _"Shut up, you're fucking hot pregnant."_

Leah and Maddy made gagging faces at each other before bursting into laughter, then Leah turned her attention to Jay, _"So, you guys sticking around New York for a little while?"_

Jay squeezes his girl's hand, _"We leave for Las Vegas next week!"_

Madison continued, _"I've got a job lined up designing for American Apparel and Jay's.. tell 'em, babe!"_

Jay blushed and nervously ruffled his hair, _"I was offered a residency on the Vegas strip."_

Leah gasped, _"Holy shit, congrats, Jay!"_

It was unusually hot in New York and Cal was dying under the beaming sun, _"I'm fucking starving. Can we _**_please _**_get something to eat?"_

Madison turned towards her boyfriend, snaking her hands behind his vest, _"What do you say, Houdini? Celebratory lunch?"_

Jay held her face in his hand lovingly, _"That sounds fucking magical."_

_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys have enjoyed this story and ending. My heart hurts that it's over. BUUUUUUTTTT -  
STAY TUNED! You guys have spoken and I have listened. I will be posting a Val x Reader story in a few weeks and would love for you guys to read it as well.  
Thank you all so much 💙 Leave me some comments so I can sob with you all.


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